“i can’t do this with you anymore”

words whispered in the dark

that shatter a heart into shards that cut deep

deep into the memories

memories of whispers

and hands between strands

of hair brushed behind ears

“i love you” in no words at all

the flutter of lips against cheeks

the laughter

the smiles

those ones that always reached the eyes

“i can’t do this with you anymore”

but it has been done...

“Why don’t you love me”

He asked, eyes filled with tears

“I can’t”

I cried

His eyes never seemed to go dry that night

It broke me

It killed me

This boy

He loved me

And maybe I loved him

I just don’t know

“I care about you”

He whisperd

“I know”

I murmured

“What do I do? What do I say. To make you smile?”

He asked

“You stay”

I mumbled

So he stayed

And that was when I realized I loved him

...

Pondering, thinking, what’s the point

Realizing answers to come

Questioning, quizzical, bending the joint

Wanting more than one.

Wondering all the same,

Looking at the last shot

The question, it seemed, would always remain,

Cannot or will not?

Tessa🦋...

She has been the one

The one for me

The love of my life

Since the day I met her

Ever since I saw her smile

Her eyes, heard her laugh

I know she was meant for me

Except she doesn’t want to know that

I see it in the way she moves toward me

In the way she talks to me

She likes me back

She just doesn’t want to admit it

I know her parents wouldn’t approve

I know she says I am not her type

Jokingly, ...

You said I was confused.

Well, you said it about others

without knowing I related

to their struggle with self.

The conflict of queerness

Rivaled with religion.

Or rather, your beliefs of it

that you long ago instilled in me.

Though you never really said

any of this aloud until I was grown.

I still saw the way you looked at them.

The way I wished you'd never see me.

You've never really said

thos...

Basketball practice, you’re sitting outside

I want you to come in

You take another ride

I’m the last one left at school

You forgot to pick me up

Teacher drives to our house, we couldn’t wake you up

You’re yelling at my mom

I wish you wouldn’t shout

I stay here with my sister, trying to stay calm

You’re outside with your friends

Drinking your mind away

I wish that I could leave, but instead I ...

A man is not a people

But to know a man is a narrow window to his people, to their history and future

I know your people are warm and honest

I wish I knew you

Thank you for the legends fireside

The glimpse of the sea from your eyes

My pages shut tight but I marvel in the memory of your fingertips on my spine

I wish you could have known me

Stupid with intelligence

awkwardness peeking around th...

When thumbs pressed and prodded

At the soft hollow flesh of my neck

And metal instruments with talon tips

Reached down my throat to unwrap

The folds of my larynx

In search of severed pieces

I waited in mute contempt

Soundlessly patient I was under their observation

Though I yearned to tell them

That I was not ruined

Flawed or fractured

The grand-maker had not failed

When he had laced t...

I looked into his eyes.

There was nothing there.

When asked, “Do you love me?”

No reply;

Just a blank stare.

After some thought

He said, “I’m not in love with you,

But I still care.

It’s not you;

It’s me.

Whenever you need

I’ll be there.

I’m sorry.”

My mind was so confused.

How could he?

Our love he forgot.

So, for me

The question, it seemed,

Would always remain;

Can not or will not?...

You grabbed my hand,

you asked me why,

And I didn’t speak.

When asked if I would answer

I stuttered.

You wanted an answer.

You wanted me to speak,

And It wasn’t a question of why, but when.

A question of how I would react

When you were gone.

I didn’t know.

You asked me why I couldn’t tell you,

Why my nonchalance and indifference plagued our conversations:

Because I will not break your heart....