_“Emily”_

it is quiet and hard to say

if someone is calling my name or if

I am just

imagining it.

_“Emily”_

this time I know I heard it because

it is louder and it

urges me to

remember.

I

don’t

want

to

remember.

_“Emily”_

this voice

causes something in me

to ache.

_“Emily”_

it says my name so loud that my ears rings

and not with physical pain—

—but rather the pain

of recognition.

_“Emily”_

this voice is digging up memories

I feel floods behind my eyes and

a sharp piece of glass

lodged in my throat:

on the brink of slicing me open.

_“Emily”_

my head is throbbing

invisible fists from inside my skull

pounding their way

out.

_“Emily”_

I tried so hard to

forget her.

thinking about her

makes me want to bring that knife to my neck

again

she is not here to stop me

this time.

my heart burns

when I think about my mother.

I will join her soon.