Sleeping in until 11.

Falling asleep for two hours in a loud room.

Drifting off,

Slumping down,

Sinking away,

away,

away.

I’m just so _tired_.

Tired of being awake, yes.

But also tired of putting on this ridiculous facade that “I’m fine.”

Tired of dancing in a never ending masquerade of so called “happiness.”

Tired of convincing myself that I’m okay, and it’s just “been a long week.”

Tired of lying,

lying,

lying.

I’m so tired of my cycles,

Tired of these patterns of mine.

Looping back to everything I’ve been through,

Over and over again.

As I turn back to all my old favorites, I embrace the same _least_ favorites-

All over again,

again,

again.

Feeling the same feelings I thought I moved past.

Wishing for the same wishes I thought I was done with.

Fearing the same fears as I thought I got over.

I’m just too tired to keep moving.

Too tired to keep charging into my own self-created torture.

Too tired to keep fighting for tomorrow,

Even when I know tomorrow will be just as bad.

But what choice do I have?

I’m too tired to push past this,

Too tired to break out of these patterns.

So I’ll keep sinking away, into a dreamless void.

I’ll keep lying to myself, to everyone else.

I’ll keep going through this over again.

Honestly though, don’t worry.

Because sure, I fight the same torturous battles every time this happens,

But you know what else happens every time this comes around?

I survive.

So I know I’ll make it through.

I know that as much as I’m sick of the dark,

I’ll reach the light again.

I’m just a little tired, that’s all.