I look at myself in the mirror,

Myself within the mirror,

Myself hating the mirror.

It’s late at night as I examine my face,

My hair a brown that isn’t a good enough black.

Good enough.

I’m not good enough.

My skin pale yet olive under the white light, my eyes squinting as I stare at my blemishes.

And I pick,

I pick,

I pick,

I pick at it until I bleed.

I harass it until blo...

I’m giving up,

I’m giving in,

I start to fall,

Pain smacks my skin.

I can’t hold on,

My spent hands slip,

They scar, blister,

My warm sweat drips.

My heart burns with hot anguish,

But the crisp air douses it,

I will walk out with acceptance,

With the swells, wounds, all of it.

I can’t be ideal,

That’s too much on my plate,

I shut my lids and breathe;

I’m alright with my fate.

I’m givi...

I am starting to give up on you.

The idea of you crosses through my mind, my heart, all over.

I wonder who you are and if you’re thinking of me too. Are you as stressed and nervous of us ever meeting just as much as I ?

As you scroll through your socials and see your close friends married, with kids, enjoying life with their significant other; do you yearn for me as much as I ?

Its getting c...

In order to survive,

To keep myself alive,

I had to give something up,

And it had to be you.

For so long,

You made me feel weak

When I really was strong,

Not I’ve reached the peak

Of my patience.

You pushed me over the edge

And held me

Back.

Our relationship,

I knew it was dead to me

When you said that we

Were not right for each other,

And that it was all my

Fault.

I finally found the confide...

I fought so hard.

I fought to keep myself together.

I never let myself cry.

I blamed you, not me.

Then you stopped showing up.

I haven’t seen you since.

Why do I even care?

I’m still fighting.

Fighting a useless battle,

trying to attack the shadows

of you that still lurk inside me.

I don’t cry.

But right now,

thinking of you and your cuts

and your smile

and your absence,

I could cry.

I want to...

Rejection still hurts,

Pouring rain on my new coat,

Thinking I won’t ever make it,

I won’t ever see what it’s like to float

My heart starts to pound,

My head feeling fuzzy,

The only sound I hear is my breath,

But I know what they’re saying,

Is that they don’t want me

I’ve been trying at my dream for so long,

I can’t remember a time where,

I wasn’t dying from passion

Most people say it takes ten...

In another life…

Did we end up happy?

Did we fight against all odds…

And end up where we needed to be?

With each other?

Never needing any other lovers…

Because right from the start we knew,

Just how much of a crime it would be to be apart.

Never giving up.

Never breaking.

Because our faith in each other was unwavering.

I think of what could of been

And what is…

And I hope somewhere in anoth...

The more you lost, the more I gave.

I became everything you needed,

Fixing it all, making it better—

You never even missed what was gone.

I stayed up all night,

Then again,

And again.

I wanted to say I was tired,

But you were tired too.

Every blow I’ve taken isn’t mine—

They’re yours.

How dare I even think of giving up?

If you can keep going like this… so can I.

Except I can’t.

And I won’t.

And...

The days are shorter. Nearer and distant. The hours are countless, far and a mist. The power has drifted and turned with the wind. The story keeps ending and starting again. The mind is wicked but also so kind. It’s in a struggle to not waste time. One is more feeling and one is more thoughts. But one takes over and the other forgot. So easy to clench. So easy to burn. When nothing comes and nothi...

I would give up,

These broken branches for you,

These worn trunk for you,

These withered roots.

For you and your evergreen heart.

…

I Love you Baby 🖤...