In another life… Did we end up happy? Did we fight against all odds… And end up where we needed to be? With each other? Never needing any other lovers… Because right from the start we knew, Just how much of a crime it would be to be apart.

Never giving up. Never breaking. Because our faith in each other was unwavering. I think of what could of been And what is… And I hope somewhere in another life… We’re in a better place then this.

The more you lost, the more I gave. I became everything you needed, Fixing it all, making it better— You never even missed what was gone.

I stayed up all night, Then again, And again. I wanted to say I was tired, But you were tired too.

Every blow I’ve taken isn’t mine— They’re yours. How dare I even think of giving up? If you can keep going like this… so can I.

Except I can’t. And I won’t. And I don’t want to.

So “I give up”

The days are shorter. Nearer and distant. The hours are countless, far and a mist. The power has drifted and turned with the wind. The story keeps ending and starting again. The mind is wicked but also so kind. It’s in a struggle to not waste time. One is more feeling and one is more thoughts. But one takes over and the other forgot. So easy to clench. So easy to burn. When nothing comes and nothing is earned.

I would give up, These broken branches for you, These worn trunk for you, These withered roots. For you and your evergreen heart.

…

I Love you Baby 🖤

Use a ruler Draw a line Make it straight

If there’s a single dent Erase it all And start over

It Has To Be Perfect

Play the game Chase the train Until you’re only Skin and bones

You Have To Be Perfect

Be slim Be delicate Be smart But never be proud

Perfection Is All You Need

Match the girl Who twirls with ease Smiles with gleam Tiptoes with grace And bows with praise

She Is Always Perfect

You use a ruler You draw the line And make it straight

The ruler moves Your line bends Your hard work Shatters like glass

Why Can’t You Be Perfect?

Exhaustion hits Comes raining down Amidst the rain, You witness her

Leaping through puddles Like a little fairy Dreaming so big It becomes monstrous

You take a leap Then slip and fall She turns to you And whispers

“If you aren’t as Pristine, Smart, Popular, And gorgeous as me

Then you are no one.”

And You Believe Every Word

Be better. Be more. Be perfect.

Maybe if I wasn’t such a bitch all the time they wouldn’t yell at each other.

Maybe if I wasn’t so lazy all the time they wouldn’t be overwhelmed with the help they need.

Maybe if I wasn’t such a failure all the time they would be less stressed.

Maybe if I wasn’t so selfish all the time they would smile more.

Maybe if I was gone they would be happy.

Fighting for a house that’s no longer a home. Where did it all go wrong? I’m supposed to be your peace, I left you in pieces. I thought love was the answer. Now I feel naked where your hands were supposed to be. The sadness hangs over me, why did I let this take control of me. I just want you to come home to me.

I’m so tired you don’t seem to notice, you don’t seem to care.

you dont accept the pain left me to stand alone in this rain. nothing to lose nothing to gain…

im so tired… the memories haunt every day its the price i have to pay.

no one understands me, they cant just let me be … you made me this monster but dont want to answer for all the things you did wrong.

im so tired…. You broke my soul took away my only goal; the goal to live life.. now spending it in overdrive

im so tired… when do you plan on telling them how you ruined a perfect gem..

all these scars all these emotions locked in jars… wishing to be hit by passing cars

when will you admit what you’ve done? thinking you’ve won but this has only just begun.. left me to be loved by no one.

I’m so tired… of keeping all of this inside wishing I had someone by my side

You’ve ruined anything good that could’ve been where do I even begin? I just can’t win keep waiting for someone to tap-in… and save me from where I have been

im so tired… You have wrecked so much more left me broken and torn

My childlike spirit that never got to experienced life stabs me so deep in my heart like a knife. All this built up trauma burns me up like a hot sauna..

im so tired… wishing back my innocence that isn’t marked by your filthy consequence

I was but only a child but what you did was wild. it took away my smile I would walk half a mile even just for a while to espcape your mild… actions.

im so tired… You touched me inappropriately i bet to you it felt gloriously.

i was your sister but that didnt stop you from pulling down your zipper. all of that hgas made me so bitter treated like the runt of the litter.

I’m so tired…. of thinking about how you’d abuse and also use all of what was me

Remebering how i was your punching bag what a major red flag.. Body stained with bruises I was always on the side that loses. soul tainted with what you did. body stained and wishing to get rid.. of everything you did

im so tired.. i did not deserve this. wishing for eternal bliss..

you have scared me for everything in this world left me bloody and curled I was but only a babygirl you have left me in a swirl…

im so tired… i dint think I can carry this with me anymore Please let me walk out this door and live everemore… with death by my side leave me to the tide.. to become death’s bride.

1-07-25, five days after we gave up on us , which is

weird saying because we planned our future together.

Knowing I have you no longer by my side will be one of the hardest feelings in the world, but will soon be a
blessing.

Giving up on us was not what I wanted, but was for the best.

My heart and my soul wants all of you, but my mind knows me letting you go will make me a better person .

I look at pictures, and watch videos of us trying to remember your touch, your skin, and the smell of you, but that’s not enough for me.

I think about calling you every now and then even in the short 5 days that feel like 7yrs 3months and 5 days since I have been with out you, oh I miss you, oh my love I will always continue to miss you.

I remember everything they said I thought it was real I thought it was love

They thought it was a game but it was love I was inlove but they were playing games They said “ I never could love u”

I never showed it hurt I walked away not shedding a tear I let them win there game like it was planned I lied for them to smile

I can’t hate them I can’t love them I can’t have them I can’t forget them They said I don’t deserve a happy ending but I thought they were my ending.

I can’t stop remembering them I remember the way she looked at me Like I was a flower but once it died she throw me out.