“Hey, can we talk?”

I could save myself with those four words.

Maybe, if I’m not too far gone already.

I’m lonely to the point of pain,

Bored out of my mind.

I just want to talk to somebody, anybody.

I want to talk about something, anything.

I don’t care who it is, I don’t care what we say.

I just need to hear someone’s voice,

Or even the three dots that mean somebody’s bothered to notice I exist.

I could ask you how you’re doing,

Could ask about your break.

Or what you think of the fact we’ve gotten a yet another snow day.

Or how you did on that science test.

Or what book your reading, if you even like reading.

Or how you cope when you feel depressed.

I could ask you what your favorite class is,

Could ask what you want to be when you grow up.

Or what your favorite hobby is.

Or if you’re scared for the future.

Or if you’ve gotten your score back on that math quiz.

Or if you ever think about dying.

I could ask about anything,

Just to hear you talk.

I don’t even care if you ask about me,

I don’t need to talk about myself, no.

I just need to know you’re there,

That you want to spend some of your precious time interacting with me.

And… well, if we talked enough…

If you really wanted me to, I guess maybe I could talk about me.

I could tell you that I’ve got this new book series I love.

I could say the ads on Amazon music are driving me insane, I just want to chill to my depressing music in peace.

I could tell you that I’m really worried about that math quiz.

Maybe I could say I’m nervous about it because I consider my math grade to be my entire worth to this world.

If we talked enough, and you actually wanted me to tell you, I could admit I’m scared for the future and that sometimes I kinda wanna die.

Or I could just tell you I’m bored, and that I want someone to talk to.

Maybe not even that much, nothing that personal.

I could simply complain about the weather.

You could just tell me how your day has been.

I don’t need to say a single word,

You can do all the talking.

I just want you to talk to me.

But I never reach out.

I tell myself I’m lonely,

Tell myself I want someone to talk to me,

Tell myself I want to open up.

And I really am lonely,

But in a lot of ways that’s my own fault.

I’m terrified that if I speak a single word,

You’ll see all my pain and be hurt by it.

I don’t want to hurt you.

Not like I’ve already hurt everyone else.

But… surely it can’t be that bad if I don’t really talk?

Surely we’ll both win if I’m only listening to you talk?

“You” being somebody, anybody.

We can talk about something, anything.

It’s possible that I could save myself with these four words,

But I think I’m too far gone already.

“Hey, can we talk?”