“True love is dead”

“Agreed. So why do you stay with her still?”

“The curse. That is why I called you”

“I’m quite out of practice you know”

“I’m willing to try anything”

“It can’t be that bad, surely. You’ve lasted seven years”

“Because I had no other choice. Another seven and I may not survive”

“Help me understand. Is she a vengeful woman? Does she treat you with cruelty?”

“Well…no. She has always been extraordinarily kind to me, and patient when I am short-tempered”

“Is it her face? Is she truly so hideous you cannot stand to look at her?”

“The contrary, she radiates such beauty that often I cannot look away”

“But she does not understand love-making? She leaves you feeling dry and unsatisfied?”

“I have never had more fulfilling love in all of my life. She is a master of the human form”

“She forgets about you, no? Never a card for your birthday, a celebration with your new promotion at work?”

“She hasn’t failed to celebrate me in all the years we’ve been together, even on days when there was nothing to commemorate”

“I’m sorry, I cannot see your problem here. It seems you love this woman. Yet you want her gone?”

“I need her gone. She is killing me.”

“Poisoning your tea?”

“Poisoning my heart”

“I’m not sure this is the kind of curse you need me for…”

“Do you remember when I told you that true love is dead?”

“Yes?”

“Well… she is”

Silence, not even the suggestion of breathing on the receiver

“She’s been dead for seven years”