I don’t feel secure,

Or safe in most of my relationships.

With my good friends or even my best friends,

Everything feels viable to change.

My trust could always be misplaced.

It’s hard to have any faith.

They may not like me

As much as I think they do.

Or love me the way I love them.

I’m a hazard to myself.

I can’t read between the lines,

I can’t even see the lines anymore.

My intuition is blind.

No,

It’s not blind,

Just confused.

I’m just confused.

I don’t trust my own judgement anymore.

I don’t trust other people.

I can’t tell if my friends are my friends.

I don’t know what’s in my head.

I try to trust

And I try to stay safe

But it’s a fine line

And an easy one to cross.

This is when I wonder,

If maybe I would be better off…

Because sometimes,

I get tired of running to other people,

Of having to work to keep connections.

I get tired of not feeling wanted,

Feeling like an outlier.

But I don’t know what’s real,

When I can’t even trust

What’s inside my head.