I never realized

Quite how much

One person could do to me.

I never realized

Quite how much

You could do to me.

I have always been a logical person.

My first instinct is to compare, to equate, to explain.

I use my head to look at a problem first.

And then I cast that aside.

I unwillingly turn to my heart,

My heart which is volatile, unpredictable.

My heart which has so much power over me.

My heart which I cannot contain, cannot control.

I turn to my heart.

So when I looked into your eyes,

I saw my future go up in flames.

My mind panicked,

Knowing you would be the end,

Knowing you would take everything I had,

Knowing you would destroy me.

And my heart smiled,

Knowing you would be the beginning,

Knowing you would give me everything,

Knowing you would create me.

So I want to ask my heart,

“Are you happy now?

Is this what you wanted?”

I want to ask my heart,

“Is this enough for you?

Are you done?”

Because my heart was right.

You are the beginning to a long, lonely road.

And maybe fixing me is at the end, maybe it’s useless.

You gave me everything, every knife, every ruin, every broken shard.

And I happily tore myself apart.

You created me, this empty creature.

This empty, hollow, unfeeling mess of a person.

And yet somehow,

Somehow my heart is not finished.

Somehow, this broken ruin of a person still loves you.