romantic silence

when just our eyes talk to each other

looks across busy rooms

knowing we both remember what happened that night

and hope that you won’t forget me

when you call me to say goodnight

praying this isn’t our last goodbye

hoping you’ll text me in the morning without begging you too

knowing i shouldn’t eat

but it comforts me so i do it anyway

i worked out today

and i tell myself this so i can feel better

jealousy,

i have eyes of jealousy

when she walks in the room and you look at her

knowing you used to look at me that way

i know i was your downgrade

but i still hope you miss me sometimes

even if your regretting me at least I’m on your mind

lord knows i think about you everyday almost all the time

i want her hair and i want to be friends with her friends,

i’ve started starving

i tell myself i like the feeling of hunger

but i no longer feel comfort

i see the pain in my own eyes when i look in the mirror

he says that’s his favorite part of me but i hate the vulnerability

laughing gives me wrinkles

so i have stopped laughing

i hate my thighs so i have started cutting them

i tell myself this is heathy

but i know it is not

they only like me for my body

i dont see what they see in me

looking past my personality

and admiring the “outside” beauty

they see me as a hoe

but on the inside i’m broken

constantly getting played

when will they run out of tokens?

he calls me a dime but i like unspoken poetry

when we can recognize the heartbreak that fills within my green eyes

not to dramatize the truth but only to acknowledge it

knowing me for me and not who i am when the sun sets

forget what i was when i was unconscious i wasn’t thinking

i’m sorry i said i loved you when i knew it wasn’t true

forget who i am now i miss when i was apart of you

2 we came in a pair

forget who i was when i was jealous

i haven’t learned to handle my emotions yet

2 we came in a pair

now unspoken guilt flows through the air