I stared into his deep greed emerald eyes, giving the smallest of smiles. He plastered on a practiced smirk, grabbing my hand.

“So…” he said, looking to my face. “You love me too?”

I was so lost in his eyes that I couldn’t respond for a second. It was like I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to be saying.

Before I could recall, a loud voice shouted, “CUT!”

Ethan’s smile dropped and he glared at me. “Really Mae? We almost had it perfect!”

My fellow actor’s anger rolled off him like steam. Yet he wasn’t half as mad as Aaron, our director.

“What was that?” She shouted, grabbing her clipboard and furiously scribbling something down. “Your line is ‘yes’, nothing more, nothing less. I truly didn’t think I could ask for a simpler task!”

“Sorry,” I said, heat filling my cheeks. “I was a bit distracted.”

Ethen still stood and scowled at me, and I couldn’t help thinking he still looked handsome when he was mad.

“Mae!” Aaron yelled again. “Did you even hear me?”

I gave an apologetic smile, shrugging my shoulders.

“Everyone go take a break, we’ll regroup in t-minus ten minutes to reshoot the scene.”

The last part of the statement I could tell was directed at me. In my defense, Ethen was looking really good today. His dark hair was tousled just enough that it didn’t look immaculate or messy.

I immediately followed him to the food table.

“So…” I grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl. “How’s life?”

Ethen gave me his signature glare. “Why are you talking to me?”

I stumbled over my words for a second. “But—a few minutes ago you were talking to me.”

He laughed, deep and sarcastic. “Wow you really can’t tell the difference between acting and real life. Next your going to be telling me that you are actually in love with me.”

He met my eyes and saw the small glimmer of hope in them. Eyebrows shooting up, he grinned. “Wait—you actually do have a crush on me! That is so funny.”

“I—I…” I tried to say something, anything, but Ethen had already walked off, muttering and laughing to himself.

I walked back to the set, staying as far behind as I could. The next few minutes went by in a blur, and my mind was still frozen in shock by the immediate rejection.

I felt the makeup team brushing my face before I walked back on set to where Ethen was waiting.

“Action!” Aaron yelled.

Ethen didn’t waste time, pulling me in close. He reeked of insincerity.

“So… you love me too?”

I plastered a fake smile on my face, hoping he could see the promised payback in my eyes as they bore deep into his. Yes.”

I open my eyes

I’m awake

I don’t want to be awake

I want to go back to sleep

I don’t want to face the day

I want my bed

Oh okay look at that my alarm is going off

I’m not getting up to stop it ringing

Well I can hit snooze at least

Getting back in bed now

Well okay now it’s ringing again

I could have sworn I just turned it off

Wait why is my alarm on again

Wait do I have school

Wait do I have work

No

No

No

It’s Saturday

I’m going back to bed

Do you remember me at all?

Do you remember how you denied that you’d ever known me?

Do you remember how I begged for help and all you did was flee?

Do you remember how we used to laugh and talk?

Do you remember how you left me when I couldn’t walk?

Now as I watch from above, do you remember me at all?

I tilted my head up just enough so that the sun flashed across my face. The warmth made me feel for just a second that maybe everything would be okay. But as I opened my eyes and saw my family standing there, my heart broke again. I didn’t want to leave them.

Mary already had tears streaming down her face. I dropped my bag and ran over, scooping her up in my arms.

“Everything is going to be fine,” I promised, stroking her hair as I hugged her. “You know it has to be like this. Otherwise I wouldn’t even consider leaving you.”

“But you’re still leaving.” Mary’s sobs paused fora second to speak.

“Yes, the rebels are getting too close.”

Henley’s face flashed through my mind. How he’d stayed under the raider for so long—I didn’t know. I could still see his face after he saved me from one of his own, still see how he gave me that look and told me I was still his sister. Well not anymore. It hurt just to know I was related to such a monster, even if he still seemed like he cared a bit.

It had all been a part of his plan.

“Not going to hug your parents, then?” My dad laughed, even though I could see his eyes well with tears.

I ran over to hug him too, then gave a slightly less enthusiastic hug to my mom.

“I love you guys,” I told them, stepping back slowly to grab my bags. “I’ll write soon.”

As I walked down the driveway, I made myself not look back. I couldn’t.

By the time I was out of sight, I collapsed on the ground and started to cry. How was I going to survive this without them?

I felt a hand on my shoulder and saw Kai standing above me, offering a hand. I took it, frantically wiping my eyes.

“Don’t stop crying on my account,” he joked, still wrapping his arms around me when I broke down again.

“Everything is going to be fine.” He told me, picking up my discarded bags. “Now come on. Everyone is waiting for us at the house.”

I sucked in a deep breath, straightening my posture. Now it was time to be strong. To be the leader everyone expected me to be.

We used to be happy Now we’re are no longer an “us” “I’m sorry” doesn’t cover it But I won’t make a fuss

You sat and confessed While love and hate blurred You thought I didn’t hear you But I heard every word

Waves crash and retreat Sand forgives and forgets And it happens once more Still you have no regret

You apologized again That last brain cell stirred I knew you didn’t mean it But I heard every word

I used to know you Then you looked me in the eyes I didn’t know who I saw Now I see it shouldn’t be a surprise

I asked you to go You told me I’m being absurd I apologized And I know you heard every word