Charlotte Hiller

Living in the body of a 90 year old at the age of 32. Creative, sarcastic and slightly nutty. Over recent years my body has become something I don’t recognise. Chronic illnesses and disability has taken over - I write to process my unbelievable life.

Charlotte Hiller

snoitcelfeR

Charlotte Hiller

1 min read

Reflections snoitcelfeR

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Memories seiromeM

Falling gnillaF

Ar...

Poetry

YA fiction

The Magic Of Technology

Charlotte Hiller

1 min read

Bright screens full of messages, non stop email notifications and the never ending call of our ever evolving language.

Just 50 years earlier, communication needed payphones, post boxes and effort; welcome to the new era of the instant ability to keep in touch with thousands at just one click of a button!

Yet suddenly local community or real world friends mean nothing, ‘likes’ becoming currency ...

Poetry

I Feel…

Charlotte Hiller

1 min read

I am brimming with the feelings associated with an 8 week break in the tropics. Lazing on sun loungers, cocktail in hand and the sound of waves gently lapping on the feet of my partner and I. Birthdays filled with balloons as bright and colourful as all of the sprinkles caressing my tongue. Glitter shining like precious gems, emitting a magical aura that my inner seven year old can not ignore. Spr...

9 Years Of Winter

Charlotte Hiller

2 min read

It was a cold dark night when i lost the love of all loves.

Frozen fingers clutching a feeble attempt of a present for a dying woman.

What do you buy for someone who will not survive the night?

Tears frozen on eyelashes, and streaming like hot springs on a winters morning.

The frosty air biting into my lungs with each breath;

The last winter we would have together.

That year was frozen in time.

N...

Assessment

Charlotte Hiller

2 min read

In the room we sit: therapist and nut job, the knowledge and the one who lacks it.

The traumatised and the healed.

Silence seemingly unending as your eyes fix on me; my eyes downwards to the hole I wish could swallow me whole like the whale hidden in the stories of old. Stories of miracles and trials so unbelievable they could mirror the issues that brought me before you today.

How did I get her...

Living

Charlotte Hiller

1 min read

I survived it all.

Each kick, each punch, each hit.

I survived.

The word rolls in my mouth as cold and solid as marbles.

Survivor.

I don’t feel light;

My body is heavy; full to bursting with pain and sorrow so undeniably overwhelming that it has fallen into disrepair.

My body is a million houses left to rot; each room disintegrating with pictures of memories in tatters on the floor.

Flashes from...

Over the hill

Charlotte Hiller

2 min read

I am on my side, and you are on yours.

I thought we were together but now I’m unsure.

A rift built between us, a mound standing tall.

I cannot move on whilst I hear what you call

An uncomfortable moment when stories I share

Of childhood and trauma and all that is there.

You say that it hurts you, these stories of mine;

Yet they’re of my trauma, not yours, and I’m fine.

The hill that you built i...

Losing You

Charlotte Hiller

2 min read

Sometimes it's easy to lose things.

I lose things every day.

I lose my favourite teddy bear in many different ways!

Sometimes I misplace him

Out in the garden grass.

But always I will find him wherever I left him last.

He hides in all the cupboards

And hides in all the rooms.

My teddy has adventures but he always turns up soon.

Sometimes when I lose things,

They can’t be found again.

It make...

Recovery (ref To Anorexia)

Charlotte Hiller

1 min read

Suspicion enveloped as she stepped in;

Her face was too red and her body too thin.

Like sharp shards of glass sticking out of the floor

Her body so fragile and small in the door.

Suspected of starving and purging herself,

Destroying her body as well as her health.

You try to enquire about when she last ate

And the vague look of panic tells you you’re too late.

The beast that’s inside her has ta...

“These Will Be The Best Days Of Your Life”

Charlotte Hiller

2 min read

“These will be the best days of your life” they said;

A time to be carefree; responsibilities a distant dream as you snake through the sandglass of youth.

Days spent in endless wonder.

Imagination and creativity exploding so forcefully from tiny small heads as if volcanic eruptions were spurting out rainbows and unicorns in a perpetual torrent of laughter and smiles.

A time to play without think...