And I think I love you, indefinitely and unwavering.

Always the victim to obsession, always the victim to your body.

Apparently your ultimatums as well.

Abuse me and my heart, all for you.

All for you.

As my heart drops, and my teardrops patter, tell me you love me again.

Again and again until your voice is gone, until my throat hurts.

Abandon all senses.

Abducting my mind, locking...

I was always terrible with numbers,

Failing to understand.

I’m not too different now.

Failing to grasp you.

But can I be convincing?

Can I promise sweet nothings?

Can I, Can I, Can I?

I don’t really want to,

But damn are you covered with moles.

And those moles hole themselves into my heart.

My first reason.

My first reason in trying to grasp these equations.

I was always terr...

Let me put it this way,

If every reason were a freckle,

If every reason was a beauty mark,

Then my dear your skin is the night sky.

If every thing I love,

Everything,

Anything I love about you,

Then my throat would ache,

My heart would break,

For I could never stop talking.

Listen,

Listen when I promise this,

Any digit of numbers,

Any fingers the world holds up,

Any reas...

Stumbling, slurring.

Getting drunk off this necter,

It’s heavy, weighing me down.

I drink and drink, just to have an excuse to stumble into your arms.

My feet are unsteady,

My heart unready,

My eyelids ready,

But I stumble.

Drunk off your soul.

Drunk because I need to find my own.

Drunk because I was never good with numbers....

The moment I wake up, I check my phone, searching for any notifications. Damn it. Dry as a desert. I grumble and sit up from the inviting mattress of my bed. I stare blankly at my wall before rolling out of bed.

I think I’ll go out for a walk. It’s a Saturday anyway. No work, no school, nothing.

I brush my teeth, brush my hair, wash my face, change into clothes, and exit my room.

I don’t lea...

I’ve lost it all just for my conscience.

Just for my rotten, useless morals.

Here on my birthday I stand alone.

Silent, silent, quiet as a sleeping child.

I can hear my tears fall.

I can’t let my tears fall.

Yet I’ve let my heart fall.

So little, so quiet,

Once busy, once lively,

Has died.

I receive a happy birthday from family, and from a friend.

Silent echoes,

Change clan...

They’re all panicking,

Scrambling to their cars and make their calls,

Screeching machines crash and swerve.

Fear is in the air.

The TV’s simultaneously flip to the same channel.

Death is promised but funnily enough, the same words for every news host states,

“Do not panic. Scientists are working hard. Be with your loved ones in this hard time.”

As if we will live, as if there is an af...

If death had taken place, just as quickly as you did in my heart, although, I hope not as brutally,

My heart would stop.

I would freeze,

My sobs turning animalistic,

Any attempt of hiding shattering like the heart you held.

MY heart you held.

My HEART you held.

My heart YOU held.

My heart you HELD.

In all emphasis of every word and possible meaning in that sentence.

Out of place, ...

You’re young, I get it.

You’re welcoming, I don’t.

You open up your arms,

Everyone cozying into your soul and skin,

Leaving a mark as dark as their intentions.

It’s a risk,

It’s a chance,

But it’s a choice.

So open up more,

Eventually those legs will too.

Your heart stepped on and stepped on,

But who cares?

You decided to.

My question is,

When you still have those arms o...

Wear that dress.

That dress with those little strawberries.

Red like your blush.

Red like your blood.

So warm, so warm.

Sunkissed like the strawberry fields we know so well.

Your skin is cool, your flesh hard.

Not as hard as it is to fuck you.

It’s cold, metallic pitter patters as I remember that change and change you wanted.

Why?

Why must I have to feel this body of yours that...