I wake to my four-month-old baby crying. I blink continuously, trying to adjust my eyes to the unusually bright light. What time is it?
Noticing that the crying has turned into slight whimpers, my eyes finally adjust and I can see. However, what I see makes me squeeze them shut and open them again. A man... Not my husband that is...doing...

I repeat squeezing my eyes and reopening them, only to see something more shocking. Fear spreads through my body, paralyzing it.

The man...is peeling off the skin on my son's hand, which is separated from his body, as if it were a tangerine. I try to move, to scream, but nothing is coming out... I feel like a statue with moving eyes...

I look at my son, which the man has kept in between his legs, probably to make the cutting process easier. His tiny body is facing my direction, and his eyes are closed, but there are traces of pain on his face.

The man finishes peeling, he puts the knife down and takes out the torch that was in his mouth. Smiling, he takes a bite, Another, And another... When he is done, he sucks on the bone, licks his lips then puts it down... He lowers himself, enough to have his lips near my son’s ear, He whispers “Thanks, baby...I wasn't wrong when I chose you,” he chuckles, “you were tasty...” he straightens himself and starts to laugh...

“You bitch!” I hear, followed by the familiar sting on my cheek... I realise that I was sleeping... It must have happened again...

“How dare you still be asleep!”

It's my husband.

I start shaking and I open my eyes to see him holding one of his belts. I look around, realising what had happened and there she was, our-three-year old daughter protecting her baby brother, while silently crying.

It started to rain, agitating me with every drop. I run but all I see is enormous treas with snake-like limbs. They're swaying vigorously. Having conversations, possibly plotting for my murder. I start to hear whispers. I look around trying to decide the source but no one was there. I start to call rob, my little brother whom I'd brought with me but he does not give a reply. I start to run again, my sweat mixing with the wetness of the rain. I start to realise that it smells awful, like rotten corpses and blood. I stop dead, as I hear footsteps behind me. I strengthen the grip on my backpack and wait till the footsteps were closer....and I strike. However, I realise that what I’d hit was a headless body. “Uh oh,” says a male’s calm and clear voice. I turn around and can only make out the eyes of a creature, An unpleasant red. “That was not nice of you was it.” He steps forward, showing me a Cheshire cat smile. I realise that he does not have legs holding him to the ground. He then leans on the tree near him and points up. I look to where he's pointing and see the bloody body of my little brother. It looked like it was half-eaten. I gasp and cover my mouth. I look back at the figure, who was itching his chin. My eyes fill with tears as I couldn't hold them back anymore. He looks at me, and we lock eyes. I feel like my eyeballs would melt any minute. “Yes they will,” he says. “And soon will your whole body...” “...that would serve as a hot drink after a rather bitter meal...”

“I never thought I would have to PAY for this. How has it gotten to the point where a mother has to pay for visiting her OWN son?!” she says angrily.

“I may be your son, but I'm doing just fine without you interrupting.” He replies rather calmly.

“Interrupting??” she cries in disbelief. “You call a mother worrying about her only son and missing him ‘interrupting’?” she spat.

“Well, yeah. All you will do is complain about how I do things. Nothing in this world is free as you know. and visiting me isn't either.”

“How can you be so cruel?” she asks, not being able to hide her tears anymore. “Nine months I-”

“Yes, yes, I know. You don't need to reiterate this familiar lecture. If you want me to pay for your carrying me for nine months then I will. But please give me a little time cuz-”

“ADRIAN!!”

“Geez, mum! Fine! I'll pay for it now! But I don't have all that money on me so I'll pay all I can-”

“Are you being serious right now?” she says, suddenly feeling dizzy.

“Yes, I swear! I'll pay as much as you want me-”

“Adrain please! Don't you understand? I don't want any money from you! All I want is for us to be a normal family again.”

He stared at her for a few seconds, his mouth slightly parted, before starting to laugh in disbelief. Meanwhile, she did the same while crying in disbelief.

“If you don't mind, ” he finally said, maybe five minutes later. “I'm busy right now and you don't seem to be in your right mind today... Then...” he said bowing a little while grabbing the door to his house.

He closed the door, but she could hear him bursting into laughter again.

She stood there, crying even harder and causing some curios heads to poke out of the neighbouring windows.

She just couldn't believe it.

The news of her pregnancy spread rapidly. She was, after all, the daughter-in-law of two very known and loved people. Everyone loved the baby and couldn't wait until it was born.

The day finally came, and it was born. It was a girl, a beautiful one in everyone's eyes. Her father would film her twenty-four hours a day since he was working from home. He would take her and his wife to his parents’ house every day and would drop them off at his parents’-in-law’s every weekend.

She was smart and said her first word when she was just three months old. She became talkative and drew well. She had a good voice and sang well. She was creative, physically flexible, and had beautiful hair. She already knew two languages because her parents were from two different countries. However, they hadn't taught her the language that the country they lived in used.

When she was two, her mum gave birth to a son. People were worried she might get jealous as it was only natural, but she didn't. She loved her baby brother although he would always cry and appeared to be scared from everyone except for their mother. Their father would playfully say that she was his, and her brother, his wife’s.

When she was three, she went to school and learned the language by herself by listening to the people there.

When she was four, she stabbed herself in the eye with a sharp pencil by accident and was told by her teacher to wash it by herself. Later on, she grew closer to her brother who had finally stopped crying from the sight of the two.

The family was put under the eyes of many. They all resented how close they were.

Their father started to go to work in his parents’ house and often stayed there till dinner. That put his wife under pressure, having to do all their work alone. However, she did not complain.

She started to get bullied in school, but nobody else knew.

Her teachers called her mum once, and asked if anything was going on at home as she would ‘scream every time she got out of her class after the bell rang’. Joyfully, Not because of the bullying. Everyone noticed that she had changed. Nobody knew why. Maybe not even herself. Still creative and talented, but different in some way.

She got severe constipation which resulted in Rectal prolapse when she was five.

Her parents started to get angry at her so often and would hit her sometimes.

That didn't quaver her love for her family though.

When she was six, one of her classmates tripped while playing tag and fell on her. All the other kids ran to her classmate because she was crying. They went to the office and gave her ice. No one came to the six-year-old. Even though her hand was bleeding. Maybe because she hadn't shown that she was hurt. When she went to the office, she found out that all the skin from the palm of her right hand was gone. At home, her dad put on some Dettol and rapped it with a cloth. The pain was unbearable so she spent the rest of the evening just walking around the room that they weren't in and silently crying.

When she was seven, it was time for her brother to come to school, and everyone welcomed him with an ice cream party because he was too scared. However, he was still scared to stay on his own so their mum had to stay with him for the first few weeks. Then, because she was an older sister, she had to go and sit in his class instead.

Her classmates started bullying her more and her friends decided to not play with her because he had to come along.

Their father became moody and was always angry at her by the time she became a teenager. Even if she didn't do anything wrong.

She started to hate herself.

She was depressed and had thought of suicide.
She felt imprisoned. She wasn't allowed to do almost everything. She discovered she might have ADHD and told her mum. But her mother wouldn't hear her out. She was forced to do things that aren't right.

She gave up her dream as it was impossible with parents like her’s.

She still loves her family though...

Even if they are toxic.

“ ‘hurt’ is an emotion you feel when a wound bleeds. I already told you when we studied ‘pain’”

“I don't mind when my wounds bleed, it doesn't hurt.”

“It does for others. That's why you should never hurt others...”

He closes the dictionary with a thud, closing the memories that come from within.

“Mum, I'm getting out!” he says, unlocking the five locks and the door chain they've installed as soon as they moved in.

“Already? Didn't you just come back from school?” she asks.

“Yes,”

“Be careful, promise?”

“Promise.”

He limped his way to the elevator, then out the building, and to the nearest bench, ignoring the security guard that was adding some last touches to the Christmas tree he’d made.

“How are you doing sir? Do you need a hand with that?” asked a man holding a little boy on his back. “ thank you, I finished.” replied the guard.

“It’s beautiful...”

“Thank you,” said the guard “God he's at it again...”

“ who is he?”

“Detective, I may be overstepping my bounds here, but I'm worried. He moved into unit 701 about a month ago, in the middle of the night, and I haven't seen much of his mother. Meanwhile, he spends day and night just sitting here.”

He nods, making his way to the bench

“Hi. Don't worry, I'm not someone suspicious. I live in unit 1501.” said the man.

“Look! This is my dad’s badge” said the boy,

“And?”

“It’s cold outside, why are you here?” asked the man

“This spot has the best view of everyone coming in and out,” he said

“are you waiting for someone?” asked the boy.

“I'm not waiting for anyone,” he said, “could you perhaps move? You're blocking my view.”

The man sighs

“Here, this is my business card. Call me if you need any help,” says the man

Help, to make it easier or possible for someone to do something by offering one's services or resources...

“...and help them instead. Hurting others would make you a bad person.”

“Is that why he is a bad person? Because he hurts you?”

“Yes sweety, he is a bad person. You should never be like him...never...”

He woke up with a start. It was snowing. How long had he slept for? The security guard was still there, spreading his arms wide and smiling... Ah, it's because his daughter is running towards him... Love, an intense feeling of deep affection...

“ is your leg okay? Your ankle is bleeding again, ” she said, as the elevator’s doors closed.

“Don't worry about it, ” he replied

“Boy, you should worry about it! Your sock always turns red because of the blood. You should go to the hospital, ” said the guard. Right, but he couldn't risk going there for many reasons.

“Doesn't it hurt?” asks the girl.

Hurt? The synonym of pain? Tssk

“No.”

“Hey! Student!” came a voice from behind him. “Boy!” He turns around
“Are you not a student? Why are you wearing a school uniform then? Ugh, forget it. You live in 701 right? Tell your mum to visit me, I live in unit 705 by the way, right there.” says the woman. He recognised her. She always comes back drunk and screaming. “Well, See you,”

He reached their apartment, unlocked the door and got inside, but stopped as soon as he saw ‘that person’ staring from the building in front of theirs. He waves. then turns and starts walking.

It's him!! He’s coming!

“ Mum! Listen carefully”....

“They're really something, the ones from 701.” She says, “ I just met the son. No matter how many times I knocked on their door today, no one would open up.”

“Yes, they seem weird,”

The bell rings, startling the three of them.

“Speaking of the devil. It's him.” says the lady.

“ I'm so sorry,” he says when she opens the door. then he stabs her with the knife he found in the suitcase that ‘that person’ left in their apartment, thinking that they would be there.

He stabs the other two, just like ‘that person’ threatened he would do to them if they tried to escape. He lays them next to each other, then lays the corps that was in the suitcase and puts his mother’s id card in its pocket. Then he puts the lighter in the microwave and runs to where he’s supposed to meet his mother. Far away.

Sorry, feeling sad or distressed through sympathy with someone else's misfortune...

The first emotion he’s felt ever...

If only, if only, if only...

If only we stopped saying ‘if only’,

If only we stopped depending on it only

If only we realised...

how harmed, unhealthy and penalised

It’d make us to always want an idealized

life and more...

saying it over and over might give us a sore

throat or make people avoid us for

always complaining...

”There he is!” said Mary while pointing angrily. ”How dare he! Mary get down quick! He might see us!” ” Where is your phone? Hurry and take some pictures!” ”Right.” He whispered, taking a few pictures from various angles. ”Umm, Mary?” ”What?” She whispered, not taking her eyes off of the two. ”What if mum doesn't believe us? I mean, the pictures are just taken from behind. What if she says that this is not him?” ”Don't be silly... It's obvious it's him, mum isn't dumb.” ”Well, mum trusts him so much! Don't you remember how mad she got at us when we told her that we saw him with this lady the other day? And that we'd heard him talking on the phone about when to meet with her?” ”yea well we didn't have any proof then! She said that we might have seen someone that looked like him. And he probably was just speaking to one of his clients; It's different now: we have proof.” She smirked.

The wind felt damp, probably because of the water particles it carried from the lake. This was a beautiful place, making its visitors feel peaceful and light-headed. At least until they leave. However, Mary was not to let her father or the lady next to him enjoy their moment together. She would make them deeply regret coming, and that was only fair...

”Mary, I think that it's best if we asked for his explanation!” ”What why? We don't need an explanation! Isn't it so obvious what he's doing?”

They stayed silent, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did. The two were speaking but it was impossible to identify their words.

”Adam, I got tired! They're not doing anything other than talking! Can't we go forward? I really wanna hear what they're talking about.” ”what if they see us?” ” it's fine! But let's try not to make any noise.” With that, they moved forward, trying their best to keep quiet.

”...do you think I should tell them? Are you ready?” said the father, making the twins gasp. ”I don't mind, they should know soon.”

”Well we do!” said Marie, earning their jumps as her answer. She walked to them, dragging Adam along.

”y-you do?” Asked the father hesitantly.

”Yes we do! And soon mom will too!”

”Well yes, I was going to tell her soon.”

They all went silent, making it awkward.

”Umm, ” he finally said. ”She’s called Emily by the way...”

”Hi, Emily, ” The father shot her a nasty look. ”Fix your attitude, and don't call her Emily!” He said, in a voice, he'd forced to keep calm.

”What else do you want me to call her, dad? Mistress? Step mum perhaps?” He looked confused then looked at Emily then back at her and snorted. ”What?” Then they both started laughing. Clutching their stomachs and rubbing their tears. ”step mum??” He said between his laughter and started banging his left fist on his left thigh. ”That's my sister dumbheads!!”

Nausea crept up to her throat from the pit of her stomach, upon realising that yesterday was real. It had to be. There's no way for it not to be. She got out of her bed; dread weakening her legs. How was that even possible?? How could she have done it??? She was confused, scared... How could she have dared?

The memories crept their way up to her head, the anger, the blood... his pleading eyes...

When did she even plan this? How did she convince herself to do it? It was so unlike her. Her legs gave in, making her fall down and mess her hair.

Then the sound of someone knocking echoed from the front door. She froze. She checked who it was from the peephole.

It was him! Brian! Out of all the people. She was not ready to meet him just yet. Not him especially.

Her heart started to beat faster and harder, to the point that it started to hurt.

she decided not to open the door. However, after thinking a little, she realised that if she didn't, he will grow suspicious. He knows... and that's probably why he was here.

”Hey..” she said after swinging the door open and stepping aside to let him in. ” It was you wasn't it?” He said, tilting his head to the side, and banging the door shut. ” you killed him.” ”w-what.” He scoffed closing his eyes. ”look yea! Don't play dumb! Why did you do it?” he whispered the last bit, opening his eyes wide and putting his hand on his hip. ” what are you talking about-” ”why? Why did you do it? Why did you care?” he asks completely ignoring her question. ”hmm? What's the answer? I'm waiting.” She sighed. ”I don't know..” ”You don't know why you killed a guy...that you don't even know?” ”Well, yes, no, I don't know.” He scoffs again, itching his nose with his other hand. ”You've gotten yourself in deep trouble.” he says. ”Well, not if you don't tell anyone!” ”Even if I didn't, they'll still know. There are CCTV cameras outside his house.” ”WHAT??” ”Don't tell me you didn't know!” ”Well I didn't.” she groans. ”Aren’t you gonna tell me why?” ”ugh fine...I did it for you...” ”what? Why?” ”Well, I couldn't stand his blackmailing...” ”He was blackmailing you?” ”Well, no he wasn't but he was doing it to you. Wasn't he?” He exhales in disbelief, cutting the eye contact they've made. ”You literally, killed a man, that you didn't even know...for me?” ”Why do you look so shocked? It had to be done by someone! And I was sure that you were going to do it anyway.” ”that doesn't give you a pass ticket to kill him!!” ”Fuck.” ”look... You're my brother... Even if we'd just met! I want to help you, ” ”Does that even matter?” ”of course!”

He itches his chin, thinking. ” fine...” he says after a while. ”I’ll help you too. Come on!”

Shaking, I unlocked the door and swung it inward. I got in, took my shoes off and tiptoed my way to the stairs. I stopped halfway through after hearing his scream. ” where the hell were you??” ” I was at school, ” ”Damn it!” He yelled, throwing the bottle of wine he was holding; breaking it, and making me wince. The next moment, I feel his punch on the side of my jaw, making me topple down the stairs and fall on my back. He comes down, and before I could say or do anything, he's kicking me in my stomach. Hard! I start crying. There's nothing else I could do. After a good seven minutes, he gets tired and stops kicking, rubbing his forehand under his chin while panting. ”SHUT THE HELL UP!!” he screams and kicks my arm. ” Get up. NOW!” I get up and ignore the throbbing pain in my stomach which was hurting most. He takes his car keys out of his back pocket and walks out of the front door. I follow him, the chilly wind rustling my hair. The sun was still up, but it was starting to get dark. It must be around 4:30 pm right now; the latest I've ever been outside. Well, maybe not ever, but since my mother left. Left and abandoned me...and my father, but he's never cared, and wouldn't ever. I would have left too if I had the choice, but... ”Get in!” I do as he says, and close the door after getting in. I'm shivering, but that doesn't matter right now. He stops the car after what felt like hours. It was fully dark by now. He tells me to get out. I do. I look around to see just grass. I hear two doors closing, and I turn around to see my dad holding a baseball bat in one hand and a shovel in the other. I feel the colour draining from my face, ” d-dad..?” He grins. Ooooooh noooo!! I shake my head. And he steps forward. I run for it. ”COME BACK HERE!!!” He runs after me. I'm in pain. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday morning. I feel like puking... I trip, injuring my knees, but I don't have time to do anything to it just yet. I can hear his footsteps, loud, which means that he's very near. I turn my head. Oh my God. He's, like, 7 meters away. I'm slowing down. Noo! I have to hurry. But he catches the end of my hair, pulling me back. He starts cursing and swearing at me. Then he pulls it even harder, making me fall. He sits on me. Then I could feel his sweaty fingers against my throat. He squeezes, and I . . . Can’t . . . Br . . . e . . . ath . . . . .

He's still swearing . . . I can hear him . . . but . . . it's getting . . . Qui . . . ter . . .

” d-da-d” he makes a weird noise that I can't identify. . . ” I...l-love...you...” He retreats his hands. ”W-what?”