I never liked my family’s lake behind our ranch. It always gave me a strange sense of fear whenever I’d look at it. Even for just a second. I’m not really sure why or what reason I had to be so afraid of it but, nonetheless I was. I remember how my father would always try reassuring me and telling me it was fine. No matter how much he told me though… I never did end up believing him. The older I got the more I thought it was just because of some phobia I had. However… this seemed more serious than some phobia. I started having nightmares every single night of something or someone pulling me into the water, and killing me. Other times I’d dream of someone simply holding my head down into the water… and every single dream, I could feel the pain. The pain of my head bursting with an intense pulsating sensation that my heads exploding. It wasn’t until one night… my cat, Mr Crumbs, went down to the lake. I saw him on the edge of the lake from my window… and then I saw him fall in. My whole body froze, becoming cold and I was having cold sweats. It felt like the world around me slowed down, and my heart stopped for a second. I quickly ran outside from my bedroom window towards Mr.Crumbles… I quickly walked into the water, picked him up and walked back to the surface. As I stood there holding him and shivering with him.. I fell asleep with him in my arms on the ground. Then, the next coming morning, I heard crying and screaming. It woke me up immediately. My eyes shot open, I quickly looked around me. Only to see my family in front of me closer to the edge of the lake. My father and mother along with my grandparents. They all seemed so sad and upset. I couldn’t figure out why so I went up to them. “Mommy? Daddy? Why are you crying?” I asked, when I got no response, I asked again. This time.. my father looks at me and smiles. This wasn’t a happy smile though. This was a smile of pure malice. I grew scared and hugged Mr crumbles tightly. My father slowly moved out of the way so I could see what they were all crying for. That’s when I saw it… it was my body, laying down on the cold icy ground along the lakeside. I was holding a stuffed cat… the same color as my cat in my arms… I was confused and scared. I looked so pale and weak. I wasn’t moving or breathing either… I turned to look at my family. They were gone, I looked back at my body, it was also gone. Now feeling completely afraid and scared, I turned back around to run home. Only to be stopped by my dead body. The eyes were sunken in and full of blood, some of it leaking out and down the face. Her hair wet and bloody as well. Her white dress covered in blood stains and dirt. Her stuffed cat that she held in her left hand was also stain with blood, and ripped in a few places. She stared at me for a good minute before grabbing me by the hair and dragging me to the lake. I tried to struggle against her.. my cat jumping out of my hands and hissing at the dead version of me from the shore. It wasn’t until I couldn’t hear the hissing anymore that I realized she was submerging me into the water… I couldn’t feel anything.. or hear anything all that well. I was too focused on trying to free myself. I wasn’t moving full of fear and panic. My breathing rapid and labored. Until she dragged me under, and I couldn’t breathe. The ice cold water surrounding my whole body, I wanted to scream but couldn’t. She was scratching my body all over the deeper she dragged me under. My worst fear was coming true… and I couldn’t do anything about it. My weak little arms just couldn’t fight her, by the time she let go, I was too weak to swim back up. In that moment when I thought I was dead… I opened my eyes in my bed. I turn to see my husband next to me, and my cat on my lap. He was purring and sound asleep. I looked up at the ceiling as I processed what just happened. “Strange…” I mumbled, “I don’t remember having a lake behind our house as a kid.”

That winter night was the worst. The pain that I felt before he left and after isn’t possible to explain. Not completely anyway. When he left and never came back the pain in my chest was the worst. I was crying so much that I couldnt anymore. The pain was too much for me too bare. I didnt want to keep living without him there. Him leaving and knowing he’ll comr back would’ve been better. But I have no clue if he’ll ever come back. He didnt even say goodbye to me before he left. If he isnt careful he might never get the chance to either. I was at the local park alone, in the dark. The dim orange lights from the street lamps reflecting off the wet concrete. I sat down on a bench, trying to take everything that just happened in. I tried my best to process what he told me, but no matter how hard I thought about it. The only thing it did was make me more upset, the cold breezing causing my fingers to slow my typing as I tried responding to his messages. He was pleading, apologizing and trying to reasure me that it would all be okay. But that was a lie, and I knew that. He knew I knew that, which is why he kept trying. Eventually my tears hit the screen of my phone, my shoulders began to tremble from me trying to stay as quiet as possible. My nose running even more than before. I dropped my phone onto the ground below, snowflakes beginning to hit the screen and slowly cover it in white flakes. I covered my face as I began to scream and yell in my head. My tears flooding my face like a water fall. I felt like the world around me was falling apart, like it was crumbling all around me. Before I knew it, this heartache I was feeling was covered in snowflakes.

I know to most I shouldnt boast They might not like the new me The me that grew stronger than they wanted I know im not who they wanted me to be But I dont care, they never showed care so why should I? Its not like they wanted me to fall in love with this guy They might say its because of them that I did But i would have to disagree, that they never did I’m happy with him, and he’s happy with me Our music combined will become a strong harmony Overcoming the evils we both have faced And continue to run, run towards the dreams we have always chased.

I walked into the house, opening the door and witnessing chaos the minute it fully opened. “What on earth are you guys doing?” *I asked the 3 boys. The tallest one, Akira, answered calmly as always. “They we’re fighting over some stupid movie that came out…” Akira explained, sounding very uninterested about the whole thing. “It’s not just some stupid movie!” The other tall boy declared, “It’s one of the best movies in history!” He seemed very heated about this topic and I didn’t feel like getting involved but at the same time I felt very invested to find out more. The third boy speaks, the one closest to my height. “Quick, Ren! Answer my question, vernon or lilith?” He quickly asked, getting all up in my face before I even had a chance to think. “I… uh…” “Vernon… or lilith?!” He asked again. “Osiris, calm down and give him space! He obviously doesn’t understand what you’re talking about…” Kaston, the boy almost as tall as Akira, said. “I know I know but I’m curious on what he’ll choose!” I was no longer interested in what they were talking about to be honest. I just wanted to get out of there, I felt genuinely scared about the whole thing. I backed up slowly. “Look, uhm… I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Osiris but I’m sure that its a very… very… interesting movie and I’d totally go with lilith.” I said as quickly and as calmly as I could. Chuckling nervously as I got closer to the stairs leading up to my room. Akira walked right past me and up the stairs without a single word. Kaston and Osiris began to gang up on me. Kaston seemed very pissed and Osiris seemed very excited. I was confused on why their emotions were so out of wack but I didn’t dwell on it too much. I quickly turned and dashed up the stairs running to Akira room for aid. Long story short… someone was sent to the hospital. I am never letting them do movie night without mr ever again.

I honestly wasn’t expecting anything intresting to happen in my lifetime. All the intresting things stopped after I turned six years old. I assumed i wouldnt even reach my adult hood without how bad my life was turning out. Even my love life was messed up. At least, it used to be messed up. Until I met him… the man of my dreams. We met and 2 days later became a couple. It happened so fast I thought I was falling off a cliff straight into a trecherous river. Unsure of whether I’d live through the harsh cold waters or not. I didn’t believe in love at first sight, I thought it was just fairytale talk… I couldn’t have been more wrong. It was like Cinderella walking into that ballroom and meeting the prince for the first time, falling in love instantly. It felt amazing, I loved him and he loved me. He said so which means he does… Right? With someone who has so many bad outcomes with love you become unsure. You feel as if your in love with an angel until that angel tells you to take a bite of the forbidden fruit, tricking you and tricking you. Over and over until you break. He wouldn’t do such a thing though… When you have the kind of love with someone where it feels like its moving too fast but you feel like youve known them forever. You worry about going too fast for a few days maybe less. Then you start worrying about the future. He reasures me constantly and at some point I begin to wonder when or if he’ll ever give up on me. Its been 7 months almost since then. Our first valentines day is today and I’m more nervous and scared than a frog trying to hop around the crocodiles in a swamp. We have so much in common, and somethings the other doesn’t like but it hasn’t effected us at all. We equally want to commit to each other… I feel happier than I ever have before. Which makes this whole thing scary. You start to worry about whether your enough or not. If you uoset them even in the slightest you’ll blame yourself but your worried about even that because you don’t want to upset them. Your mind becomes a dead-mans zone. A war. Except this war could be never ending. If it does go away it won’t be gone forever. At the most it’ll become a cold war and you’ll think you’re fine until it pops up from the ashes of yourself you left behind. When you’re in love, its not just your life you have to worry about now. Its both of your lives now. Everything you do will effect them, and thats the scary part. The person of your dreams will make your heart flutter and feel as if its flying through the sky like a plane. If its a love thats distanced, that love has a chance of lasting longer than if you physically met them only because of one reason; they met your personality and fell in love with that. Not with your looks. Once they fall in love with your personality, they won’t give a crap avout how you look. Only of how you treat them. If you end up in that kind of love, never ruin it. Always trust your partner like you’d trust your best friend. They’re your second half, your lover. The person you’d want to be with forever. Who you’d want to hug and cuddle with for hours. Kiss for hours, someone you’d have sex with even if before you were never interested in that yet. They’ll make you feel more confident about yourself, but also make you think about things you never thought you’d think about before. You’ll feel more determined than ever, and you’ll acomplish so much more. If you haven’t found someone who makes you smile for no reason at the very thought of them, you will eventually. It’ll happen, I didn’t think it would and then it did. I feel like im on cloud 9. I’m in a fairytale, and I will do anything to make it last forever. No matter who or what gets in my way.