Luckyplum

Luckyplum

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Diary Of The North Pole E.R.

December 23rd~


The Hopping Elf is the biggest factory in all of the North Pole and it’s in full swing. So are hammers, needles, scissors, saws, hot glue guns, and a great number of other sharp, heavy, jagged, hot, deathly tools.


To get through our busy day treating patients with unpleasant procedures and servings of spiked nog (an elf’s best pain killer), I coined a song the nurses and I can si...

The Struggles Of A Fine Art Thief

It’s hard to be inconspicuous

when you’re hanging upside down,

And the propelling gear from Temu

Has twisted round and round


It’s hard to steal a priceless painting

When lasers block your path

And the anti-laser suit you bought

Would barely fit your cat


It’s hard to be a fine art thief

In this ai generation

For there never was a better thief

Than ai impersonation


It’s hard to write this p...

The Great Disappearing Me

The park is getting dark

And the dusk is rather cold

A fog is creeping in

And the shadows become bold


The giggle of a hiding child

The growl of a stalking beast

A snap and rustle in woods nearby

— will I be its feast?


I think back to the early morn,

When I took this shady dare

To chase the ghost in Holy Park

with her mane of fiery hair


A flash between the trees,

The tail of a flowing flame

My ...

How To Expose A Superhero

Melanie Mint was in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing at the right second: taking a photo — just as an accident occurred and just as I was there to save lives, incognito.


At least, I was supposed to be incognito.


But Invisibility Boy was, for certain inexplicable and supposed-to-be-improbable reasons, half visible that icy morning in that busy intersection. Half visible....

Cave-Song

A full moon is an obnoxious thing,

much too bright for my feared kind.

I’ve nothing left those nights but to sing,

and use a tune to pass the time.


I begin with some taps,

a scratch, and a pat—

just one foot, my left foot,

deep in the back.

My right talons then start,

with a melodious rap.


Rap-rap-tap!

Scratch-pat-scratch!

Tap-tap-rap!

Pat-scratch-pat!


Oh what fun! I hum and chuckle,

but t...

4
6
Popper Bob In Cell No. 4

Popper Bob kilt mor people than all the poxes togethr. A hard an’ angry man as ther ever wuz, havin pride n’ fire. An’ thick, fat fists like slegehamers. They done swung like it too.


I visitd him only once at th’ county jail. Only once in his lifetime sennance.


An’ time did no fixin of Popper Bob.


Forty yars an’ Popper Bob wuz still crazy.


“Well, Popper,” I said to him. “Are ya a new man n...

How They Bungee On The Moon

Entry 146

2055.06.12

Merrick Burdearro

NASA Astronaut

Occupy Moon Mission


With the Darkside Station complete and fully operating, we voted to set up one of the many recreational activities we prepared for before leaving Earth.


The winning event was a bungee jumping platform on the northern edge of a canyon, a short distance west from the station. The canyon runs vertically; its shallowest end ...

The Royal Circus

The king is a monkey

The queen is a bear

The prince is an elephant

Balancing on a chair


The princesses are big cats

Of which there are two

Jumping in tandem

Through a flaming hoop


The jester is the ringmaster

And he calls my name

To present me to these fools

one and the same


I stand in the limelight

A thousand eyes on me

Somehow I’ll blunder through

— in a moment I’ll be free


I curtsy first ...

12
14
Poached Heart

Eighteen years of life and ten summers of the hunt were enough to teach Demiric, son of the chief, that the stag before him was a rare trophy indeed.


The majestic creature weaved between a web of low slung branches and thick patches of morning-bright fog. It looked his way, then stilled like stone.


Dem notched an arrow, muscles taut and aim ready, and a breath later let it fly. The shaft cut s...

The Winged Sleuth

It must be infuriating for Cupid to reach such a humiliating point in his career.


No matter how many arrows dripping with love he shoots, none of his couples stay together. He increased the strength of the dose countless times. He hit his targets with a spray of arrows all at once. Still, the lovers split.


Today, he means to find out why.


Cupid tucks his fluffy plumage into the confines of a b...