Once the sun rises......the magic of a new day begins with compromises, you open your eyes to nature's beauty, behold their is a beautiful person being reflected back to you by your mirror. You control the magic, a simple smile, a good deed, how contagious is the attitude we bring, Making someone's day by simple gestures. It does not take much to light the spark of another.

If only everyone new the magic they posses to do good, to be better, to lift someone up the world would be a better place.

We could light a forest fire of good will throughout the world. It just takes one person to make things happen......be the magic in someone day today.

Be the difference you want to see in the world! Let's spark a fire in the hearts of others and light the world aflame.

The day you were diagnosed with cancer was not the worse day of my life. It was just a prelude to it. I remember the doctor was so cold and just told you like it was nothing. No heart or feeling behind the words that were spoken to you. It was at this time that I lost hope in the humanity of our medical field. I felt like I was dying inside too, but I knew I needed to be strong for you. The hardest thing for me to say to you was it is your choice and I will support you with whatever choice you want. You could not even stand being in the patient room. You needed to go to the car as you were hyperventilating from the shock. I stayed there to get what was needed. I didn't want to think about what you were going through. All I could think was this is my mama and I still need her. You were so strong....your decision was to not get chemotherapy instead was to go to Mexico for alternative treatment. I researched everything I could find and bought different supplements for you to use. I felt like I was in a race against time. Life would not be the same as it was turn up side down. No planning for future just living in the present....enjoying the time I had with you. I didn't know how to be I just felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest as I lived your last days with you. I loved you so fucking much. You were my mom.....and I was your baby girl. You took your last breath and life would never be the same for me. I am lost. Devastated and I do not know how to live. Please mama help me from above as I feel I am falling a part piece by piece.

I see the smoke your blowing at me. You were the one in your professional role not me. I have no blame here, but yet you placed it on me. You were the one who broke your ethics....not I. I came to you broken needed help in the darkest point in my life. You did not respect me or value me as a person. There you are with what you created. Your house is burning down around you. Your consequences not mine. It would have been so easy for you to admit you were wrong and come clean. Of course that would take someone with bravery and courage to admit you were wrong. It would take even more guts to ask for forgiveness from the person you hurt. It is so much easy to look at yourself and hide. Place the blame on someone else. But you see you created your own fire by not facing the sparks that you created. You made a spark and put logs on the fire. Your consequences are yours. Fire rages because you could not face the reality that you broke the ethics of your profession. All I wanted was to take some of the pressure off of you when I was the one hurt and emotionally bleeding. How could someone inflict more pain on a person who was already struggling with survival. I can not wrap my head around how someone could be so cruel. I guess as they say those that are hurting hurt people. You caused so much damage. Made me think you actually cared. I was already going through so much...but guess what I am still here. God has always had me in the palm of his hand and what you meant for evil God will turn into victory. I do not feel ill for you, but more empathy. What caused so much trauma for you that you would cause more trauma for another. I pray for healing for you in spirit, soul, and body. I pray you regain the passion and flame that gave you drive to go into your profession. You have so much potential to do good in this world. I hope and pray you embrace your God given gifts and use them for the betterment of people rather than selfish desires. God rewards the humble and those who chose to do good in-spite of being treated badly. You will reap what you sowed. Cause as you know karma always comes back in the end. The icky feeling your trying to escape will not seize until you face the fire you started.

When you were a child, you drew a picture of your dream partner. Twenty years later, you are walking down the street and see someone who is an exact replica of what you drew. Unfortunately, you were a terrible artist back them. I was on Orangewood and Lewis Street when destiny hit me. There in front of me stood the man I drew once upon a dream when I was a child. But I live in the real world now and I no longer believe the bullshit fairytale stories my parents fed me as a child. I look up and see a man with dark hair, brown eyes, tall with a muscular build and wonder what lies deep within his heart. In my head I can hear the song playing of once upon a dream....I stop and start laughing hysterically as I find that completely hilarious. The song switches in my head to the Halloween movie sound track now that is more like real life. Fuck the bullshit life is not a fantasy and why we feed our children such stories is beyond me. Reality is life is hard and no perfect man is going to sweep you off your feet. We all are flawed. We grow up and the shit gets real. I was in love with a guy. Things were good. He would send me cute little notes and leave me little gifts in my car. We would laugh together and I could tell him anything. We were in love so I thought. We had a beautiful daughter together, but reality was you can't control someone else so he left. As a mother I so dearly wanted him to be a part of his daughters life as I didn't have my father present in my life. I did not want a repeat cycle, but I came to realize that I had to do the best I could. I had to make a stable life for me and my child as I could not rely on the man who fathered her. My heart ached for her as I want more for my little girl. I want her to have a family. Reality is you meet a man he to comes from somewhere . You do not know his background. Where he comes from or what his life experiences that has shaped him are. It takes time to really get to know someone. Getting to know them is like peeling an onion. You slowly peel each layer by layer to build trust and build honesty. Relationships are hard and as you peel that onion it may cause you to tear up, because reality is the other person does not always act in the way you expected in your mind. I know sad right! Such is life. There are no guarantees and life is really a freaking roller coaster. Make yourself happy and be secure with you. Perfection is fiction end of story. Beam me up Scotty!!!

I wish I never knew what it was like to think I was not enough. It was all a lie to hurt and stunt the growth of what was always more than enough. Lies the child within held in their heart.....they were lashings, beatings, and arrows fired by one's tongue. The heart lied there bleeding the damage unseen. The child within crying out with a voice unheard. The invisible child that the parents forsook. Little girl come forth for you are a fighter and have always been mightier than you did look. You are special young child. You are dear. Those chain that kept you captive you have broken. You my child are free to speak. All the beautiful words you had left unspoken. You my beautiful child are now seen and loved. Your beauty shine through for you are not ordinary, but extraordinary. You have survived and now it is time to live.....so fly my child fly. Soar my child soar. For you are capable of so much more than all that you have lived........your scars are not ugly. They are beautiful for they show that you are alive and that you have lived........so be free my child free to show the world how to feel. For my child you are the purest they come....You look with your heart and see others pain......You do not see flaws, but see the beauty that lies behind the darkness. The potential of all that that person could be and you see the beautiful scars......and you tell them they have always been enough.