You know what they say

It feels like a party everyday

But not for Bertram!

He is a dimond

“I hate kids” he may say

But we love him anyway

He is wonderful

And also gay

So that’s cool

I love him

I don’t care what you say

Slay the day away

To Bertram from Quinn

I love you pookie...

me and my friends like to post memes on the internet. we don’t really care about it going viral or anything, we just do it for fun. today i posted a video of daddy pig twerking. when i woke up the next morning it had 70 billion views!! one of my friends named bobinny said “what the flip. erm actually there’s only 8 billion people in the world.”

but i don’t care about what bobinny thinks. my video ...

SCRUMDIDDLYUMPTIOUS

i love the blue one

it may not give me as much energy as the bottle said it would

but that’s okay

it doesnt need to.

its just really good.

its my favorite.

yum....

thanks for coming

i say to all my birthday party guests

but little do they know

I HATE THEM

my mom made me invite

kathy

i hate kathy the most

she’s one of those people

who still wears clothes from the kids section

in target at age 15

i hate kathy

but i also hate larry

larry is my secand cousin twice removed

he is pretty dumb

okay bye...

it was new year’s eve

2014

the fireworks would be starting soon

i was so excited

i couldn’t even focus on

my mom

who was yelling at me

cause i

ate uncooked meat

“it wasnt finished !! i was gonna put it in the soup”

all i could see is

the big red lever

and not a sight of

a permit

i couldnt help myself

i ran over to the

big

red

lever

and pulled it towards me

“NOOOO”

my mom yelled

but it wa...

⚠️this is a comedic poem about my STARDEW VALLEY husband⚠️

harvey, my stardew husband

he is a doctor

he brings in the cash

yet he doesn’t pay

a penny for our house

with his big arms

and my big heart

we make the perfect couple

adopted two kids

named them

rob

and

bob

this morning harvey watered my plants

i imagine him helping me with the farm

everyday

wouldn’t that be nice?

yes.

yet, he sits...

yesterday i got a gift

a silly goofy gift to be precise

i got a rock painting kit

for five year olds

uhhhhh

i’m sixteen

“i love it!”

i say

with a smile on my face

little they know

uhhhhh

i dont 👍

i know i should be thankful

for all the little gifts

but honestly

i think my grandma

who gave me the kit

thinks i’m five years old 😭😭...

in jessica’s lip filler

i didnt wanna rat her out like this but

she stuffs all my favortie

fuzzy socks

in her lips

she looks like a duck

now that she has a new hobby

of stuffing my socks

in her lips

jessica,

if you’re reading this,

STOP TAKING MY SOCKS

its not funny anymore

i wonder how good it would feel

to pull 13 pairs of socks out of your lips

but i guess i’ll never know 😔...

today is christmas

i really like christmas

christmas means

food

silly

presents

goofy

a stalker who breaks into your house

yummy

christmas is real yummy

this year i got a

kim kardashian signed print

and some new

undies

yummy

i ate my undies

even thought i wanted to wear them

to school

to the park

to the movies

to the mall

but it’s ok

cause they tasted good

really good

yummy

i ate my kim k...

ppl in my town are disappearing

i think they went to ohio

cause you know

only in ohio

i wonder where they have gone

maybe to the barbie movie premiere

or maybe they went to the car store

to get me a tesla

i want a tesla

with butterfly doors

i want a pink tesla

but never the less

no one is home

not even mrs. eda

i like mrs. eda

she makes yummy cookies

after i come home from school

chocol...