I have to tell you the God honest truth It wouldn’t be fair to keep it from you I am finding enjoyment in our time together But I’m not sure I’m ready for the next step I keep trying so hard to not push you away Cause relationships always go up in flames Over the years I’ve been through hell Now I’m cautious when giving my heart out The taste of your kiss on my lips Brings a happy thought to my head But the outward emotions only go skin deep Cause inside my mind I freak the fuck out I’m gaurded, I’m cautious, I’m careful I don’t want to be where I was before I have faith you have told me the truth That you want be different than the rest God only knows if you were meant for me But I’m not wrong for wanting to go slow Make sure that these feelings are real I’ll break if I end up heartbroken again I will admit that it may not be what you want But I’m trying to be where God wants me Right now I can’t picture a tomorrow When today seems extremely hard So if you believe that there is a grand plan And you don’t want to give up on me Bear with me as I stumble through this journey To figure out just who exactly I am

You’re barking up the wrong tree When you tell me that I need you Cause I can tell you for a fact I don’t need anyone but me Don’t take this the wrong way But I don’t want you to be a need If you are still a part of my life It’s because I want you there You’re not essential for my survival Just an added bonus in my life Try seeing from my perspective Maybe you’ll understand my view I’ve been hurt by needing someone But I’ve never been hurt by just me I will never rely on someone else Since I can do it all myself Call me stubborn all you want I call it independent

Life without you, what’s that? It feels like so long ago we met Was there a time we were strangers? I don’t remember a world with no you How and where did we meet? I feel that I just woke up with you one day I’m supposed to try to imagine it A life where there is no you I keep trying and I really can’t do it You are permanently etched in my life Me without you is no one at all Since I’ve built my life around you Would anyone even recognize me If you weren’t my constant companion Are my friends only my friends Because they just pity me with you Would they still want to be there If there was no you in my life Would my love life be normal Would they stick around forever I’ll never get to know the answers Since there is no life without you I can’t picture a me Without all of this anxiety

all I’ve wanted was love But I’m leaving that behind I find it’s so much better When I live my life alone No one can let me down If I don’t let anyone in I know I broke your heart But it’s just not for me

All I’ve wanted was a family But it’s no longer my goal Sometimes I get so angry And I cant calm down So if I have a kid or two
They might end up hurt I know that disappoints you But it’s just how I am

All I’ve wanted is calm But I’ll never see it My anxiety runs my body When it’s not in my mind My body shakes and my stomach aches I know you want peace But I can never give you that

all my goals and dreams Are flushed down the drain I have to find some new ones More practical for me to achieve I know it won’t be an easy thing But it’ll be worth it in the end So off I go to find my goal I must do this on my own

You know what you see from the outside A smiling girl who has it together But that’s not what it really is Beneath the surface of my facade

You know what you hear when I talk I’m happy and confident But that’s not what it really is Beneath the surface of my words

You think you know your emotions You think that you love me But that’s not what it really is Cause you don’t know me at at

Beneath the surface of my facade Is a broken down girl who’s falling apart Beneath the surface of my words Is a cry for help cause I can’t do this anymore

Beneath the surface of your proclaimed love If you look hard enough you’ll see You love the idea of loving me Cause you can’t love what you can’t see

I thought you were my friend But you stabbed me in the back You could have had anyone of them But you had to end up with him What’s it like to have all the boys Falling at your feet everywhere you go Cause you took the one that I wanted You knew what you were doing too Who cares about anyone else’s feelings It’s not like I mattered to you anyway I cherished our friendship for so long But it was always disposible for you Don’t come running back to me When you find your heart broken again Cause I won’t feel no pity And I won’t be your friend

You don’t know who I am Even though I wish you’d see me I want to get to know you Learn the way you do things I’m too afraid to speak up So I’ll probably lose you If only you could see the real me Know that I’m worth the hassle Maybe this could be His plan For the two of us together But we’ll never know if we don’t try And I’m too afraid to say a word

If I could count the ways I love you There would be more than just a few A few Thousand ways That sounds a bit cliche I promise you that it is true

You never made me feel like I belong here So I carved my own path out of the darkness I took all that I could and I left you behind Cause I know exactly what I am worth Your words don’t get to hurt me anymore Your apologies won’t fix a thing I taught myself that I don’t need anyone To make me feel like I should be here Because I can now tell that to myself So walk off the podium you didn’t win There won’t be be a medal for you And I’ll present myself with a gold Your broken words won’t fix me I healed all this hurt on my own

Do you think the sun gets lonely up there? It shines bright all the time but it could be a lie. Do you think the moon gets dizzy? All it does is spin around and around. Do you think the stars are depressed? Cause they all burn out after a while. Do you think the earth is concerned? It has specific requirement to make it have life. Do you think that the universe is like me? With all the emotions completely out of control. But the sun still shines, the moon still survives, New stars form, the earth hasn’t lost life. So if we are alike I think I’ll survive, Since the galaxy is alive after all this time.