Oh Uncle Jim
A drunken uncle can be the best or worst for our family gatherings. It usually starts off by taking that awkward silence in the room off with a funny comment or two. After a while the drunken uncles in my family are notorious for weighing in on the food spread. Last time, Uncle Jim was very particular about the Turkey sandwiches my cousin Louie had made. With a hot knife Uncle Jim slurred, he said he could dice up Turkey Sandwiches faster than a chef on The Food Network.
The Audition
“Penniless we’ll be if we choose him, mate” I mustered after another “actor” strode across stage. My partner, ever the more jovial and easy going type was more hopeful than I was. The play for set to begin in three months for tonight. Seemed like plenty of time for rehearsal, only we did not have a lead actor and our producer was one tick away on the clock for erupting. “You know I can’t stand Craig when he gets mad”. I said to my partner. “I can hardly understand his thick cockney accent when he’s by the cooler, let alone mad”. Another hour had past and two actors appeared to have no showed for their scheduled auditions “this is needless”
Happiness
Happiness is the byproduct of of work and contribution to a higher purpose or cause. It is a state of being that has many different meanings and definitions. Similar to how the motor of a car works and operates the same for two people but those people could have a vastly different meaning and experience of that motor. Perhaps with greater curiosity and appreciation for others contributions, tyranny and distain would live on no more.
Graduation Day
It was commencement day for my college graduation. My family had made the two hour drive down from Maine that morning to Massachusetts, where I had been away at college for four years. Down were four of my closet family members, Mom, Step-Mom, brother and most proudly my Dad.
He was the one to have pushed me to not only go away to college but a four year one too. I had my mind set on a two year school for its downtown Boston location. However my Dad said one of his biggest regrets was never going away himself to college and to value the college experience over the city experience. He said that was the purpose of college first and foremost and to make that my priority, especially having lived in a one small and sheltered town my whole life.
It must have taken my Dad a lot of courage to speak those words and state how he felt. Ever the type of person to lean on being cerebral and stoic, it was surprising to see him so vulnerable but strong. Going forward I would lean on that energy, choosing to go to that college. I would call him weekly when away during those four years.
Those calls for him were both good, bad and everything in between. The amount of work and time invested for me just to be able to go away must had weighed on him when me grades weren’t as good as expected or was in trouble for thinking I was 21 two years too soon. The worst was when my friends and I were caught with marijuana weeks before graduation which he angrily reminded me of how I would work third shift for the rest of my life.
The day of graduation had finally come and my Dad couldn’t be more proud. After going through the ceremony and receiving my diploma, I met my family at the back of the tent on that eventful. There my Dad was, expecting him to be a composed as ever, he was anything but. His emotion poured out like a river smashing through a dam. That moment for him was not just four years in the making but many more. Times seemed bleak that I would make it that far whether it was my fault or something unexpected. That day my Dad gave something he never had to his first born son and served as an example for his youngest son who graduated from college four years later.
6 Months in the waiting
Today has come for the appointment. It’s been five years since the last one like this but the process and feeling around it were all too familiar. Six months ago I succumbed to yet another ear infection. Now 31 years of age and born with an abnormally susceptible ear to water, I have had more ear infections in my left ear than I could count. Beginning when I was less than a year old was my first infection. The type of infection was nothing more than a bad case of water in their ears with no other symptoms. However in my case it was the number of infections that was alarming. Even after seeing three specialists and five procedures the problem still remained.
Six months ago I was in the ENT office when the doctor made a rather startling discovery. A hole had been punctured in my ear drum from a piece of titanium from a surgery five years ago. How that occurred was anyone’s guess.
Other than the first surgery, none of them made any noticeable difference in my hearing. Only until two years ago when I had a hearing aid for the first time was there a significant difference. When that was first installed it took several months for my brain to recognize the additional hearing and utilize it. Once it did I no longer had to strive to hear and listen, but could spend more time understanding and responding.
Since this latest infection that hearing has gone away with the aid in. Now I sit in the waiting room with the surgeon running behind as I ruminate in my thoughts. Will this be a blip on the radar screen? Will I have to have my ear reconstructed, again?
A Hawk Circles Above
It was a partly cloudy fall day as I soared parallel the Southern Maine horizon. The sun was half way up for the day as the glare was shielded by my dark brown Hawk eyes. The colors of the trees were I was a mere minutes ago had started to change colors.
Remarkably, flights like these were one of the few times a Hawk like myself could appreciate their gifts. As father of two and devout husband it was my job to fetch the catch for my family and I. I was able to sneak out for a few moments before the wife goes all “crow” on me.
In the mean time, the air is crisp and cool but a hint of summer still hanging on as I hang out in midair. The humans below look like mighty ants on a mission of some sorts. Sometimes I wonder what their goals are and what keeps them so busy all the time? Before I know it, the wife is up. We have been together long enough that I can just feel when she and the kids have awoken for the day. Time to hunt.
Hero or Villain?
Ruthless and unforgiving but honorable and good for their word. Took no prisoners but was unapologetic in their actions. The town went through tough times in the years since the mill went bankrupt. It’s citizens had to forge a new identity. Some brought in a new restaurant scene to attract new means of economy and ideas but at the cost of big risks to an already fragile infrastructure. The uncertainty brought in a wave of certainty only through the instantly gratifying means of drugs and crime.
One of the citizens that turned 18 as the mill closed, looked forward to starting his job and raising a family in the same way his father and grandfather did. Don Smith III had his grandfather’s persistence and his father’s attitude infectious leadership that won over everyone while going through school and in town. Don knew the town like the back of his hand. He knew the kids in his school that were going to make it out of his town or others that were destined to live there going forward.
He had a dual life as his high school’s star football captain but was caught his junior year dealing drugs in school. Don could have had a plethora of college to choose from for his football alone, never mind his 3.8 GPA and National Honor Society induction. However his father gave him a second chance and promise on a job in the town mill once he graduated high school. Although Don graduated that job never came as the summer Don was set to begin working the mill closed. He had no backup plan, no alternative because he knew that was the only way to make new, honorable name for himself to the two men he looked up to the most.
Don was devastated by the news. All his hopes and desires were gone as he stayed behind at home as his old teammates continued to play football, going off to college. He decided to do what he did best and made friendships and business partners around town. He quickly made a name for himself as a rapper, channeling his rage about oppression and hustle. However what really made a name for himself in the community was that Don taught others, kids especially how to rap and organized large community gathers in the town’s park on weekend afternoons.
What came out of the notoriety for Don was a knowing of the good and bad that went on in his community. He gained trust and a reputation that he was for good despite the increased violence and drugs that ever seemed to increase. Those kids he taught rap to went on to do well in school and start businesses of their own. Don was more in the know of which blocks were safe and unsafe better than any police officer he knew and knew it.
So Don took it upon himself to take back the city he knew so well and what it meant to him so it could be the same for others. He decided to take it upon himself by joining the drug dealing game himself. He knew it would be a tighter than tight rope knowing his name was in good graces everywhere he went.
Don gave himself no choice but to play the game was to have skin in the game. With his impeccable name on the line, Don knew the only way to make his dream a reality was to infiltrate the game from the inside out. To complicate matters, word got out that the mayor was a high school classmate of a record producer and invited the producer to see Don live. A turnout in the hundreds would show the type of influence Don had to the producer who could put Don in front of thousands so Don could live his dream out of giving back to his community. The question was, did playing the exact game that gave his community the black eyes it had to attempt to rid it make him a hero or a villain?
The Beginning of the Trek
It started out like any other trek up a mountain. Hannah and Beau were experienced hikers who met recently at a Meetup in Manchester, New Hampshire. Although both were seekers of the thrill of adventure, Beau was drawn to the mountains for its challenge of the Trek while Hannah was drawn to the moments along the way. After exchanging pleasantries at two consecutive events, they decided to climb a nearly found trail up one of the mountains along the famous Appalachian Trail in New Hampshire. After their start on the trail, a castle like church appeared in the distance. Hannah, ever so eager to experience that novelty began at once towards the structure, knowing Beau would otherwise be dead set on the mountains that loomed in the distance.
The First Date
“I think I just met the happiest person in the world!” I texted my friend after returning home from a first date. She was everything tI imagined and more. She was so full of life, confidence and spunk that was infectious like I never felt before. Over two weeks of talking online to several woman, she stood out as there was no hesitation to be myself with her. It was dating app though, how real could that be? Luckily we were able to find out on a warm, Memorial Day weekend night. That ease and comfort did not miss a beat going from the world of texting and FaceTime. Only within 30 minutes of our date did texting turn into talking and FaceTime turn into time with one another’s face. She was the happiest person in the world because I felt I was the happiest person in the world. You could not convince me otherwise then or for the next three plus months. The pendulum of emotions swung hard toward affection and intimacy and I let it rip. Like any pendulum and law of life, any swing in one direction would be swung back with equal and opposite direction. Did I think it would happen to me? Never in a million years. Why would it when immersed in a bliss that was only felt a few times in my life and for that long? I reflect back on that night almost six months ago, now single and just starting to feel like myself after a messy breakup four weeks ago. Our relationship ended as spectacularly as it started. I struggle to find the words to explain why. Why did she come into my life? Why did she come in so quickly and leave so quickly? If I know anything about relationships that the lessons that are learned and hardwired take place when least expected, just like she came into my life when least expected.