“I think I just met the happiest person in the world.” B said “Do they know what year it is?” L replied. “Hold let me go check.” B answered. goes and checks “Absolutely. 2006.” B confirmed. “It’s not 2006.” L argued. “Yes it is.” B insisted. “What’s on the radio?” L asked. “Everybody in the club getting tips…everybody in the club getting tipsy.” B sang. “Who is the president?” L wondered. “Barack Obama!” B stated proudly. “What does Donald Trump do?” L trembled. “You mean the apprentice boss guy?” B muttered. “What about the virus?” L sighed. “What virus?” B said in a stupor.

Hey y’all, hate to take a break from the regular ‘gram aesthetic but I gotta show you this mf I saw when I was at The Container Store getting some boxes for my new ASMR video of the week! No cap, this man walked around like this after security told him nicely he needed to have a face covering to be inside. Fair enough. My guy reaches into his fugly coat and pulls out a butterfly and says some words backwards. THIS GUY FINNA WHIP OUT A🦋, WHAT’S NEXT?!

You know what it is. I followed him around to try and film him to post on my story so he’d be famous for this shit. The pandemic is no joke and it’s still going strong. Everyone needs to do their part. Something about seeing this terminally ill looking, old af, high risk dude was my breaking point. YO! Somebody come get your grandpa, he’s sick af.

So…I saw him by the stackable container section and was like thinking of my game plan. Do I start with acknowledging his age and health condition or just straight up tell him to cover his nose? I was like idk, boomers are unpredictable…they do go boom when presented with new information so like…I remembered that. “You’re not that guy” Guy and how he dogged that kid who tried him because he was to timid. Y’all I tapped this man on the shoulder! Like I’m a small teenage girl, what’s he gonn do?

WELL he did somethinggg because now we are in in a paradigm where perpetual conceptions of eudemonia arise within us and because we lack the common ground to raise our consciousness without ego guarding paired with a physiological sympathetic reaction & now we are outside. He told me I could take a picture of him and post it for the internet. It hasn’t stopped raining since.

“Oh yes sir, I do.” “Well come on in here and out of the cold, little lady.” He ruptured. In her clacking flat plastic dress shoes, Mary May walked over to the driver’s side window and raised a finger to the gentleman behind the wheel of the very nice large black car. “No funny business.” She said. Her tipped his hat to her and nodded. Clicking and clacking her way around the car, the little girl went ‘round to the passenger side and heaved the door open. He stared at her as if frozen; should he help her or should he allow her the dignity of her strength? She threw her doll on the dashboard and fell into the passenger seat. She stretches her body up and out to finally shut the door. How amusing! Lincoln thought to himself. This little girl acts as if she were a grown woman taking care of herself! “Where are you headed?” Asked Lincoln. “To New-Or-Leens” She piped with confidence. “Well little miss, that’s all the way in Louisiana. You are in Michigan which is many, many days away from Lousiana by foot.” He laughed tenderly. “Well that’s why I was out here. I know so can’t go the whole way all by myself, I’m just a kid! But I need to be there to see Auntie Borborpoe! Oh I just have to!” Juliana sunk deeper into her seat. He wanted to raise her spirits, “Auntie Barbados? Why, that’s a fine name!” “Borborpoe! Not Barbados.” “I see. And what does this Auntie mean to you?” He lost his tenderness.