loss of motivation,

Schoolwork left undone,

days or weeks with no sun,

and loss of synchronization

My hair became stinky,

my body slowly sore,

the less i stood the more,

i sat all day just thinking,

and this mood was destructive,

for i lied in bed all day,

remaining with my pack,

but soon i became productive,

just so that i may,

get back on track....

I stood holding my cheek as the pain subsided, frozen in shock.

“you tell anyone about this and i kill you” my now ex idol spit at me.

I looked her in the eyes and just shook my head slowly, backing away as if she was on fire. How could this be happening? i’ve spent every single day of my life after dinner , watching her shoes and listening to her music and this is how it turns out to be. A huge w...

It’s a bad habit,

i know i said i’d stop but,

if we’re confessing here,

i secretly restarted,

i fell back in love,

with being out of love with myself,

I quietly scream at myself all day,

just to sneak around and self destruct,

suppressing the gargled screams of my stomach,

to appease the ones in my head,

the truth is my body looks different than what it feels,

i’m a figure cursed with extra skin,...

I wake up to nothingness,

I lie in bed awake for hours doing nothing,

I sing and write taking up time,

but nonetheless times doesn’t go by,

I do the same things over and over,

hoping for a different ending,

but it’s all the same over and over,

when will it end?

i began to realize it will never,

not for a long time,

so i have the urge to do it myself,

but that urge is shunned,

viewed as selfish,

bu...

If wishes fell like rain,

then certainly i am the storm,

the grass would grow greener,

crops would be watered,

the sky would be a dull gray,

but the sun would still shine,

the sounds wouldnt terrify,

but would be like a symphony,

those who were drought,

would be nurtured again,

those who lost hope,

would reignite and,

those who were lost,

would find their way....

For the past 14 days we have fought,

you said you wanted to stay in bed,

i didn’t argue,

i stayed cuddled in the blankets engulfed in your warmth,

falling soundly asleep to the sound of music,

when i awoke you only gave me time to use the bathroom,

just for you to trap me back in the blankets to fall right back asleep,

the next day comes and you say just one more day wouldn’t hurt,

i didn’t argu...

Happy valentine’s day ,

although she didn’t have a lover,

she had a love for something,

it wasn’t particularly understandable,

but she understood it,

she loved her own self destruction,

the way she hated her smile,

her hips,

her eyes,

her laugh,

she was in love with not being in love,

with herself,

now to others that might’ve been weird,

but it was her own selfish joy,

the way she would malicious...

Words so heavy set that they reach my spirit,

cracking her ever so softly,

trust being broken to the point that i’ve become a hollowed out shell,

trapped in the abyss of my own mind,

tears swell and dance on my face,

nostalgic memories for when i was with you,

a hollowed out frame i’ve become in your abscence,

to match the emptiness of my heart,

i’m sorry,

my love,

that i’m no good for you,

that ...

I met you when i was 16 and innocent,

unknown to the pain headed my way,

i spent 4months breaking down walls to let you in,

it took you 3 more to make me regret it,

after you were gone life without you just didn’t go great,

i fell in love with you at 17 while we were trying to be friends but ended up more,

i did everything i could to make it work,

in the end you broke me,

6 months ago,

i hated to...

I worked years for my position,

no one bothered to lend a hand,

but as soon as I got to the top,

every move was scrutinized,

they feel entitled to their opinions,

while i’m comfortable with mine,

yet their negativity lingers,

while my positivity struggles to stay afloat,

they smile in my direction and kiss at my heels,

but this isn’t what i wanted,

i never wanted to be at the top like this,

this...