Patrick Robinson

Twitter: @Patrickdjokes .Yep yep. Let’s hear it for kindness kids.

Writings

Followers

Following

Patrick Robinson

Twitter: @Patrickdjokes .Yep yep. Let’s hear it for kindness kids.

Writings

Followers

Following

Hedgerow

Patrick Robinson

1 min read

“Hello,”

Said the badger to the hedgehog.

The hedgehog saw beauty

The badger felt fruity.

Desire blossomed

Like dandelion yellow

“Our love can’t grow”

Said the badger to the hedgehog.

“But let’s imagine another life,

Your an estate agent,

And I’m your wife”.

...

Humour

Checkout

Patrick Robinson

1 min read

Checkout the checkout

Frantic man with furrowed brow

An overfilled basket

Too late for a trolly now.

Single man

With toilet roll

And a copy of The Sun

for hyperbole

Couple with wine

And a fancy cheesecake

To friends to dine

New friends: can’t be late

Bread and cheese

For the lady who looks tired

Loyalty card is ready

Points have expired

And me,

6 items or about

Carry on here

Or surly se...

Humour

Magpie

Patrick Robinson

2 min read

You slide the bag across the table, the hooded figure opposite you peers inside. “Where the hell did you find this?!”

“I wouldn’t say I FOUND it. If it was just a case of FINDING your Birdskins you wouldn’t need my expertise”.

The admonishment was enough for Buzz to remove his hood and calm down.

“Wow. I mean…….amazing. This is going to blow them away at Gincen 4”. Gincen4 was the wealthy distric...

Science fiction

The Marvellous Egg

Patrick Robinson

1 min read

Once upon a time there was a massive egg. The kind of egg an ostrich would look at and think “Now, that’s a big bloody egg!”. The egg was bigger than a football, smaller than a basketball and had a cream sheen to its shell. It was found in a forest by an 8 year old boy who had curly hair and was himself bigger than a football and a basketball put together.

The boy was called Matthew who spent m...

U.F.C

Patrick Robinson

1 min read

A friend of mine told me that U.F.C stood for “Unlimited Free Chicken”. Signed up. Now have to fight a kick boxer before Easter Sunday....

Posture

Winner - 3rd

Patrick Robinson

1 min read

Slouches from spongy couches.

Shoulders hunched and spirit down.

Where is the dancer in you?

Use this window as your rehearsal room.

Straighten.

What was it that teacher said?

Like there’s a metal pole

Going up (and down) your spine.

Metallic marrow sounds monstrous.

But check out the clarity of presence now.

I should always stand like this.

I should always sit like this.

But that’s not goi...

Mugsy Balone

Patrick Robinson

1 min read

“Mum, dad, thanks for coming round.”

David made sure his tea was finished before he dropped the big news. He thought telling his folks at his house would be best: familiar wallpaper gives strength.

“I’ve got something to tell you. You might not like it but I feel I need this in my life”.

Dad looked concerned. Mum looked intrigued and concerned. “What is it son?” said Dad.

David spoke clearly an...

Fantasy

Beauty in Betrayal

Patrick Robinson

1 min read

So my tricks were laid bare.

My spells were there to see.

A feint followed by lies.

My way to victory.

These wizards knew nothing.

My smiles hid the plot.

Andy threw a one.

The dainty little dot.

I threw a six

The game tied like a knot

A beautiful time spent

With your this new board game that I’ve got....

Yeah Well

Patrick Robinson

1 min read

Well. There you are. Just say I didn’t tell you so. He told me “We’re eleven ways through this and I don’t know where to go.” But how did he know? I never trust someone with shoes like that. I mean, haven’t been the same since Bowie died. Death seemed too mundane, you know? Well. There you are. Least I know when to use two o’s. Not that that’s bloody important. I mean let it go man, let it go. Unt...