May mind be free And let the devil No longer bother me I want to free be once again All I feel is pain and agony Why you wont you let me be I’m drowning in my sorrows May it stop when I go free He has me in his grasp I’m stuck in his hands He runs my mind I don’t wanna be Who I have become I wanna be free and be me I’m tired of the pain nagging me I can’t put the flame out It keeps a lit Once I’m free will the devil stop Nagging me to be the horrible person he wants me to be

Heart broken once again But this time it was for my own sins May I come to peace with myself May I work on myself I got into a amazing relationship It was this girl I loved her O I loved her dear I wasn’t able to show it For my ex and my ex bsf Hurt me truest Now my heart is broken I may heal Maybe one day I’ll be able to show my love When im not broken I smoke to numb myself And to numb the pain but may I rest on smoking To better myself For the days to come I will be working on myself And won’t be going numb for my sins have not been forgiven May I heal once again I wanted to give this girl the world But being so broken Caused damage not all my love She seen me not broken she seen me broken I’m only not broken when I’m high as a kite But now I may focus on working out my mind

Why should I trust you why should I believe you I once gave you everything all my love everything you ever wanted you didn’t love me you lied day by day I had nothing I meant no more than a dusty penny you broke me when I was weak why should I let you do it AGAIN WHY so you can make sure I don’t make it out alive this time I wanna be in peace not pain I felt at peace till I realized it was all a fable for you to tear me in PEICES you DESTROYED me after you made it seem like I meant something you’re DISGUSTING you say the biggest lies because it was fake and now you feel bad you are no longer in my dreams you are my worst NIGHTMARES

-17th bday Sincerely Myself and I Eric R.

It’s painful The thing I have done What I have seen What I didn’t do What I couldn’t do Burns my soul While I live in deep regret My life may go on So my family will stay strong I have piled up all my emotions So now you can see That side of me is not Who I want to be I regret doing the things I have done The situations I have caused I live in grief and sorrow And bleed deep I hope the devil can’t get me I still have life I want to see So please Lemme continue on No matter what you see No matter who breaks me Let me continue Thru tis pain and agony With lots of sorrow and regret And heal the wounds That make me bleed deep

Sorrow Pain. Regret Remorse Guilt Anger Revenge Forgotten Lost.. Unwanted Tis generation We can’t seem To get out We suffer We smoke the pain away Most of us just want to feel again But so many people are here.. To just hurt hurt hurt Us over and over Thou is weak Thou wont eat I would like to feel again but i don’t think Tis “dream” will ever be again I wanna hold someone I wanna forget what people say But everything anyone says It sticks for so long it stays I’m tired of the fights I’m tired of pain and guilt Get out my head I have nothing what else could you want I’m no hero I’m no villain I’m just a kid that wants to be seen for himself I’m just a kid that is addicted to love But can’t find any I’m a kid who’s been forgotten Betrayed Demons tie me down They control me But I want out I wanna be happy I can be happy alone But I don’t wanna be I’m tired So so T I R E D Just let me BE PLEASE I don’t wanna do this no more

Her words stuck deep inside me Her promising Her in general Everything she said Did It all stuck with me It was amazing There was no problems Date nights Talks Movies Yep did it all always there for each other Taking about our future together As if it was already panned out in the table But something started seeming a little off A little too off This boy her “bsf” He likes her yep he does It’s boy is gonna tear us down isn’t he She was out more texting less quieter around me Something is off Then she left me For him the boy I was once jealous of Broke me forgotten about me I was lost NUMB S P A
C E D O U T from reality As if to her “Everything is just as it is meant to be”

The storm begins Hail comes down It’s windy It’s downpouring as the streets flood I get ready And go outside Hoodie shoes sweatpants I’m going thru too much The rain soothes the pain and let’s me free I’m such a good person But that’s not how people perceve me I’m the bad guy in every book I wanna be happy I try But when it rains I go out there It’s where I can cry without anyone noticing It’s where I set myself free I come out of my shell in the rain I have so much running thru my head I can’t control it I tried to get help It doesn’t work it never does I tried talking to family they don’t listen nor they understand Tis pain is on another level I can’t control my head anymore Pain and agony is all I feel I sit in the middle of the street As it’s pouring I can feel for once again It hurts to feel It hurts to live still to this day I see a car but the car stops Why did it stop It should had sped up I’m still here tho idiot wanna be My life has been nothing but cruel to me And I wanna be good again I wanna be happy again but Regret pain and guilt It’s always running thru my head Why me why Why can’t be happy I can barely stand up or do anything anymore I don’t have the energy to do anything Except sit in bed on my phone listening To music till I fall to sleep I don’t wanna be hurt again I don’t wanna be hurt anymore I need someone to set me free Tis pain makes me drown in my sorrows

I’m setting up my car to go to sleep I hear a knock on the window I ignored it I started hearing all the cars In the busy night Car horns, busses I see a couple people walking down the street Even the sidewalk is busy I start seeing these random figures They come out of no where I can’t go to sleep It’s too loud I’m scared I might not wake up Who knows what could happen In this busy city night Someone could break into my car Steal all my money I get more and more scared I see people talking And walking down the street People coming out of the bars Even people coming out of the ally The more scared I get My car feels colder and colder I can’t leave it on all night I only have one blanket and one pillow but I keep watching the outside of my car as I’m paranoid I hear someone right outside my car I hide behind the front seat They looked through the windows I get the chills And was frightened of what they might do I end up falling asleep to the busses roaming the streets There I slept in fear of never being seen again

I’m walking down the street As the rain comes down It feels like hail I keep my hood on Till it started coming down it’s hardest Once I am drenched I let the tears roll down my face Only I can see and tell What is rain and what is tears Once I start I cannot stop For the rain hiding the tears it allows me to keep crying No one will hear through the thunder No one can tell what I’m feeling I keep my sorrow in the rain So I can stay hidden as I cry my tears run deep Now it all comes back my past It’s traumatizing all the memories that I tried to forget They come raining down on me like nothing else ever has I’m this moment may all the good memories vanish All I feel is the pain in my head and heart Tis is where I cannot move as I start feeling stif and numb May there be a way to forget all this pain instead of keeping it all inside Can I still change who I am Or is this who I am deemed to be I’m only 16 and it feels like this earth is cruel There’s a lot of good people and good times but I haven’t had many As the rain comes down I remember my past what I DID Then comes what I seen and been through No one can see my thoughts and pain I smoke all the pain away like it never existed I feel sorrow for myself as pain comes into my head faster and faster It doesn’t stop this walk isn’t peaceful tis is painful may I ever forget my bad memories or does it deem who I become Why am I so hurt why can’t I feel better Well some people make the bad memories disappear But the ones who do I want them forever may this happen Or will they leave eventually Will they actually stay by my side I may never forget what I have done and been through But I always remember the ones who made me feel like life was good and sweet This poem stops here as the rain starts messing up my typing typing is going blind may I clear my mind though these poems and let myself free all alone is the only time I can feel like this

As the storm has started I hear the wind The wind is strong I go outside as it downpours There’s thunder and lightning all around The walk seems to be peaceful tho

I feel at peace in the rain As I start I feel the pain But my sorrows and weeps won’t be heard by no other It’s dark No one hears my cries No one hears my screams Tis rain is like no other As I’m soaking wet In my sweater I’m still walking for hours Still my weeps aren’t heard by no other I keep my head down As the rain trickles down my face My heart begins to race Then I start to pace The pain in my head It hurts but still the pain can’t be set free for whom is to see I can’t stop, this rain it feels so good I sit on a empty road all alone As a car drives by I get up As I’m dripping I feel happy I have tis feeling of peace and relief Don’t mistake me for some beast I have a heart and my heart is true No matter what I weep The pain still seeps into my head I caused the pain All tis pain I have head for years It’s my fault I caused it after all But that’s why I may sit and weep only when the storm carry’s on so I can be at peace alone once again