honey evergreen lewer seeds pineapple crescent

what kind of recipe is this?

I’ve never heard of “evergreen” or “lewer seeds”

not to mention “pineapple crescent!”

wait let’s reread

suddenly I realize

this isn’t a recipe it’s a call for help.

Whilst I’ve been contacted by the Agency through many abnormal ways before , this… this was new. It has been a few months since my last contract. The recipe indicated it was writing by a ‘Miss A Lodger.’ To the common eye this would just be a name , but this actually meant ‘ Mississippi Agency Unit L’ which is where I trained in my younger years. I was told by another agent this Unit was decommissioned after a trainer and a trainee went rogue. Little did I know this would be the reason I was contacted .

‘Three cups of “st”’ What? What’s st? I read the next ingredient. ‘Six tablespoons of “in” I think this is one huge typo. The rest was like this, ‘Four ounces of “ai” One cup of “do” 10 tablespoons of “d_” Seven minutes of “th” Nine cups of “be” Five ounces of “rs” Two teaspoons of “wn” Eight handfuls of “e_”’

A couple weeks later I’m in my mansion. The treasure was easy to find once I knew the code.

If you had just done the assignment from beginning you wouldn't be here. In the middle of the night on the day before it's due trying to make your own god damn recipe. 'You know what? No' your to tired for this, why not look something up and turn that in.

You turn on your desktop and search for "Easy chocolate chip cookies recipes" and click on the first result. You click on the download button and without even checking it you print it out. But to your dismay all that was printed was what you believed to be an error screen. You sigh and toss into the trash can. You quickly print out a different recipe and head to bed.

After returning from school you decide it would be the best to clean up your room, since your mom has been nagging you about it for a long time.

That's when you found the crumbled recipe on the ground near the trash can as you had failed to throw it in last night. Opening it up you realize it was not an error screen but in fact some weird text reading; "Hjab Eish Luab Paij Mqox Eazd Pwuo Lmaz Eeix Aorh Szuw Eqwu, by First Letter" Something spelled strange about this you kept staring at the only readable words 'First Letter'. What could that mean, and what's with this weird language. Could it be referring to the first letter of the message? You decided to check that out and pick up your pencil from your desk. Slowly you write the first letter of the message to reveal the new letters; "H-E-L-P M-E P-L-E-A-S-E"

The only noises in the house are the blades of the fan whirring and soapy water washing the dishes in the dishwasher. I stare at my phone and let out a long sigh. I set it next to me on the couch and scan the room for a blanket or a robe, suddenly freezing. I find my khaki robe and quickly put it on over my covered-in-cat-fur pajamas. With that, I glance at my cat, Snuggles, who is sleeping peacefully on the couch. I smile and pick my phone up. There’s an unread text from an unknown number… strange. I click on it, sorta suspicious. It’s a chocolate chip recipe! I figure it must be from one of my friends using a new number - they know how down I’ve been since my son died.

I start to head into the kitchen, wondering if I have chocolate chips, when another text from the same number pops up. It reads: You’ll figure it out. Figure what out? The recipe? I furrow my brow and click on the link. Quickly scrolling through it, I don’t see anything wrong with it. It looks just like the average chocolate chip cookie recipe. I shake my head and try to convince myself that it’s just a coincidence, and I try not to let it go to my head. But I can’t help it - everything does.

I gather all the ingredients, everything along the lines of flour, sugar, chocolate chips, and so on. Dusting my hands off, I grab my phone again and realize the recipe itself is in smaller print, and I don’t have my glasses. I bring it closer and read the steps, top to bottom. But then I realize there’s something off about this recipe. There’s tiny dots and lines behind the words that are hard to make out. Quickly I find a notepad and a pen and I write down the series of dots and lines. I stare at it for awhile, pondering and clicking my pen. What might it mean… and then it comes to me. I don’t know how I could’ve been so naive. It’s morse code. I quickly look up the morse code language and translate it in almost no time. My mouth gapes open at the few words that daunt me on the notepad:

I’M STILL HERE MOM

Those four words… those four tiny words… they could mean anything, it could be a wrong number, it could be a troll, but… I have a feeling it’s him. We used to love to make chocolate chip cookies together, and he was always bright. He could have easily figured out morse code and put it behind the words of the recipe. He knew I would find it. It’s a message - my son is alive.

When my nephew asked what foods could be substituted for flour while baking cookies, I though he was being a wiseass. The year before, I used Ritz crackers instead of potatoes when making potato salad. It did not taste good. It reminded me of the time my mother used whole Cheerios as breading for fried chicken. Scarred from the culinary experiences, I haven’t eaten crackers or Cheerios since.

After searching online for possible substitutions, I happened upon a website that provided a variety of recipes. Most of the suggested dishes were limited to six ingredients and appeared to be missing several key items. The cookie recipe, for example, listed honey, enriched flour, large eggs, pecans, mint chocolate chips, and evaporated milk. Sugar and butter wasn’t included. There was a meatloaf casserole that didn’t include ground beef.

The cooking instructions for everything on the site were also strange. Regardless of the recipe, all of the cold desserts required chilling the prepared concoction at thirty eight degrees; the heated meals at seventy seven. I had never seen cooking instructions that specified the number of minutes and seconds. The measurements appeared wrong as well.

Following the recipes seemed to encourage a result no different from eating Cheerio fried chicken. It would be memorable in all the wrong ways.

Maybe the chef was a mad genius or whatever proficiency exhibited in the kitchen didn’t translate to proofreading recipes for typographical errors. It didn’t matter. I wrote off the experience as another example of internet insanity and shut off my computer.

Later that day, while off-roading through the woods with my nephew, we stopped to rehydrate and rest before continuing with our ride. When he asked where exactly we were, I pulled out a handheld GPS and looked at the coordinates. Displayed on the screen were the longitude and latitude, listed in degrees, minutes, and seconds. The information triggered a thought.

When I returned home, I took a closer look at the recipes on the cooking website from earlier. The instructions were listed one of two ways. Either chill at thirty nine degrees for fifty four minutes, twenty six seconds, or heat at seventy seven degrees for two minutes and twelve seconds. It had to be a coincidence.

The screen name for the original poster of the recipes was listed as “North West”. The conspiracy theorist in me considered whether it was all an elaborate hoax perpetrated by one of the Kardashian children.

What purpose was served hiding coordinates in plain sight, like Easter eggs hidden in video games? Was it a geocaching treasure hunt?

I studied each recipe trying to make sense of it all. There was a peculiar pattern to the way the ingredients were arranged in every recipe. The first letter of each spelled out something.

“H-E-L-P-M-E,” I said aloud. “Help me?”

I didn’t know who needed help or what they wanted to be rescued from, but someone was in trouble. Something had to be done.

You make cookies it tastes like metal you walk to metal factory you find dead body lol

INGREDIENTS

1 cup salted butter* softened 607734 1 cup white (granulated) sugar 80914 1 cup light brown sugar packed 64032 2 tsp pure vanilla extract 0 2 large eggs 3998 3 cups all-purpose flour 11024 1 tsp baking soda 0 ½ tsp baking powder 0 1 tsp sea salt 6111 2 cups chocolate chips (or chunks, or chopped chocolate) 34178

I looked at the recipe for a bit and saw nothing wrong with it at first even started gathering the ingredients for up to the part when I had to beat the eggs I looked at it again I took note of the numbers wondering why it was written and that’s when I checked the back of the recipe which had a picture of what it the finished product is like as well as a written note that read like this - mix up the numbers (except the zeros), separate the numbers into thirds, add each zero to each of them Now you have access to the red book enjoy! 😁

I did notice we had a red book in the house but part of it was in accessible due to it needing a hidden password so this must be what where it was. So first I mixed (added)up the numbers 807,991 Then I separated the numbers into thirds 80-79-91 Then added the zeros to them 800-790-910 My heart started to pound my curiosity working overtime and grab the red book nearly pounded it on the table and flipped to the password section by then inputted the password in it and it rang with a click then a then a song came on with congratulations across its the electronic border. I waited for the song to finish then opened it inside was a key to a chest along with a picture of the chest the same chest that was also willed to me for my grandmother. So I went into the attic with the key in hand and open the chest do you know what I found inside? No gold, No jewels, just a piece of paper with a picture of both grandma and grandpa “The secret of life is how you make it whether friends, love, money, anything you want just be careful do not take too much treasure or it will overwhelm you”.

I reread it up to about five times before I put it back into the chest and locked it again wow somewhat getting the message I also was a little disappointed It didn’t have anything other than a message, after all I would rather have money for my crippling debt I have then a life message.

A plate of cookies were made and I thought occurred to me if the whole thing was online did grandma sent that online so I could find it? or did everyone have red books? perhaps that message was a clue to another code?

I grabbed my plate of cookies and went back to my investigation, curiosity killing me be damned.

One Apopa time there was a girl who was wanting to start a baking company so she was looking at cookie recipes and she came upon a chocolate chip cookie recipe that looked really good so she clicked on it and it pulled up a recipe and the stated looking though it and then she saw something the numbers where in a weird orders and she recognized the order it was from her favorite movie Shedoodle it was to the lock case in that movie.

Carla Timmons was feeling forlorn. She’d been out of it the whole day starting with bad sleep. This day was even made worse when she got fired from her gig as an art gallery tour guide. “We don’t want your energy being shown to our costumers. I’m going to have to let you go.” That is what her boss said to her today. “Awesome,” Carla had said back sarcastically. Even now she thinks about wanting to play back the short conversation to leave on a bit better of a note.

“You know what,” Carla spoke aloud in her quiet apartment. “I’m going to try to make this day a bit better.” Pulling out her laptop from her bag, Carla opened her favorite cookie recipe she had saved on the desktop. She had made them so many times she had it out just for a little reference, but she still read the intro. It was because it was hilarious.

Chocolate Chip Cookies:

Wassup campers! I’m Dean Make Bakes, and these cookies are out of your world!

Carla paused. “What the…” she whispered. She knew the hippie baker dude by the online name Dean Bakes for a long time. She used many of his goofy but delicious recipes all the time. His profile never had “Make” in the middle. Especially the unlikeliness that this multiple year old page had been edited. The end of the sentence was also different. Nobody says “out of your world”, it’s usually “this world”. She also remembered the same.

Skimming through the rest of the small intro she found the last sentence strange as well. “These cookies will make your dull life extra ordinary!” This sentence was completely altered. It usually said the cookies will make you whole, which she found funny, but this was different.

Looking past this, the ingredients were exactly as she last looked. Still untouched and perfect. Another change was right after the instructions. The sentence read, “If you need help, just start over if you mess up, it’s worth the time.” Not only did it make no grammatical sense she didn’t reThe last change was the promotion to Dean Bakes’ social media. It read, “track Dean via (323) 675 3298”. No trace of his social accounts, but a phone number chillingly near Carla’s Los Angeles area code.

Piecing together the changes to her favorite recipe, a message was readable. Make your life extra ordinary. If you need help. (323) 675 3298.

How did this happen? Carla thought frantically. And why? This was my worst day in a while, yet this message was found in my favorite recipe. I always made it to cheer up. Who ever was playing a sick prank on me, it wasn’t funny. But how would they know my day had been awful; she thought.

A little shocked and tired from this insane day, she dialed the mysterious number. She sighed while she waited for the other end. All she wanted were some good damn cookies.