i felt my fingertips start to shimmer with sweat

a single tear fell from my green irises that made my skin grow cold

i’ve never dreamt of a word so resentful

but she loved to peek in here and there, in between a beat and a siren

high alert

skin deep

racing feet

one, two, three

what is going on with me?

panic in between my rib cage with a little taste of courage peaking through

all together, it was laid out for me

what do i do in a place so far from my head?

my body is alert but my bones hurt

and i want to scream but the noise that comes out from my lips is silenced with her

anxiety

you fooled me and i am stuck to this ceiling

i can see my body floating but i am not actually there right?

what is happening?

you control me

you hurt me

and you fooled me yet again and again

you stop me in my tracks and i am tired of this game

looking down towards you

eye to eye

three words form out of my aching eyes, as i knew they would

“i’m upside down and i fear that you have won this time.”

Pockets turned inside out, Shoes on the wrong foot— The things I thought I knew Feel foreign now.

I once believed I could hold the world in my hands, Only to watch it slip through my fingers.

Now I am a puddle on the pavement, Looking up— Shapeless, trodden, Vast, confined By the edges of my sidewalk mold.

I woke— but to (?) A world that bends, a mind unhinged, my friend (?) my enemy, lay desolate before me.

Is this truly him? Or another twisted shadow in the haze of my madness?

I have both won and lost— what did I even seek to lose? I do not know, but here, in the metallic stink, I finally grasped understanding.

His skin, always sweet as honey, glows as bright as stars I crave to consume.

His arms so delicious, soft, just as I hoped they would feel— even in the embrace of our death.

I have already broken my humanity— porcelain bells shattered, replaced by jagged stone, my gaze unfeeling, my hands stained.

I have always been right side up. I have always known where I am, where I’ve been and where I’m going because I’ve always had you.

But now, I am upside down. I have no idea where I amor where I could possibly be going next. You were always my guide, my help, my map. Now there is no path forward. I am lost. You are gone.

The world keeps spinning though. Time keeps marching forward. Hours and days pass unyielding. Here I float in this upside down state while I am passed by so many who stand on their feet. Maybe someday feet will return to the ground.

For today though, I am upside down. Lost.

Staring in your eyes is my favorite dimension My favorite part of being alive No matter the season If I could, I would Would be your favorite dimension Our hearts should Should be open season Season of our hearts to hunt down each other If you’re up right Then I’m upside down Upside down of course In your mirror dimension Were all I see is you Were that lie is true No matter the season If I’m wrong I don’t care if you’re right As long as you are on my right Were the mirror dimension is a reflection Reflections of light Light of the night So please, don’t leave my dimension Before the reflection reflects the sun And wakes me up in the middle of the night

Searching for something to anchor. Thoughts swirled in her mind. She’s caught in a restless wind. Gaze flicking between the window and the sky. Searching for something to anchor her spinning mind.

I thought I had my life figured out. Date to marry, then have children, live happily ever after. I thought I had all that I could ever want. Fiance, a house of our own and plans to start a family.

Then, I met him. By the fire, at a time in my life where I could never have imagined anything better than what I had. One look is all it took, I was done for. One word out of his mouth and I knew, I’m with the wrong one.

My world, flipped on its head. Upside down. Completely different to what I had imagined I would have in life. A family who accepted me at first glance. A partner who is so strong, yet so vulnerable. Stability in the upside down world, it all feels so right.

I often wonder what life would be like had I not met him. But I like the upside down world I now live in. So peaceful, at last

The blood rushes to my head,
and suddenly the world looks wrong—
the sun dripping from the ground,
the sky buckling like a drunk
in a parking lot, staggering
into the arms of a stranger.

I think I’m falling,
but maybe I’m climbing.
The way my heart lurches,
it feels like both at once—
a ladder splitting apart,
the rungs breaking into birds,
their wings frantic,
their cries sharp enough to cut air.

I’m upside down,
but this isn’t new.
I’ve been walking on ceilings for years,
talking to ghosts who call my name
like a question they forgot the answer to.
I’ve kissed mirrors
and felt the glass bite back,
every crack like a roadmap
leading to places I’ve never been,
or maybe places I’ve been trying to escape.

What does gravity want from me?
I’ve tried to surrender—
offered it my bones,
my breath,
the weight of my body,
the heaviness of being alive.
But it keeps pulling,
tighter and tighter,
until I’m spinning in circles,
a coin deciding
which side it wants to land on.

There’s a boy in the corner of my vision—
his hands full of flowers,
his mouth full of rain.
He’s laughing like he knows something
I don’t,
or maybe like he knows something
I do,
but forgot how to name.

If I flip again,
what will I find?
A new sky?
A softer ground?
Or maybe just another version of myself,
hands reaching up—
or is it down?—
begging for the fall to be enough.

I’m upside down I should be 47 not 74 I should be head in the clouds Not head in the mud There should be years ahead of me Smiles, expectations, hopes and dreams, Not stubborn shoes, an inability to traverse The long road home. I walk on air, I wait for the air to claim me.

I’m upside down And inside out Everything is right I am just wrong

The things I used to enjoy And the people I used to like Don’t spark the same joy in my life

I want to be how I used to be But what I was is not who I am My right is wrong And my down is up

Now that life is all upside down I see things differently It’s like a blindfold’s been taken off And I can see clearly for the first time That being upside down Isn’t all that bad