What you see is… People dressed up Everyone happy Excited to be there Laughing with the crowd Perfect at what they do

What you don’t see is… People crying People broken and in pain Some wanting to die Some even do The strenuous work The pressure that their in To get everything perfect Wanting to tell their secrets But know that they are fighting for themselves

Everything changes when you go behind the scenes

im okay. on the stage i’m okay beneath the spotlights i’m okay but in my darkest moments when the camera turns off i’m not they’re just lines from a script i memorised rehearsed till perfection rehearsed till you can’t find the flaws i’m really not okay backstage i’m a mess i’m broken and shattered and exhausted but when i get on the stage i’m okay i have to be okay i have to play my part i have to say my lines the spotlight is on i’m centre stage remember your words: don’t worry im okay

There was a nervous tension radiating through most of the performers jittering legs betrayed the outward look of calm. Staring at her crew an intense feeling of pride overtook rhe nerves she had been feeling previously. Taking a calming breath, Eve transitioned into an authoritative posture before stiding into the line of sight of her team.

“They are pretty good.” She dropped challengingly.

Eve let that hang air uncomfortably while locking eyes with all the members. Most basically flinched away from her gaze. She smiled at the few that maintained eye contact. Everyone could hear the climatic rise of the current performers as the reached the ending.

“But i wouldnt expect anything less at the finals. If Im being honest i was kind if expecting something on the level of heavenly and beyond what mere mortals can do. They are good. We are better.

Eve said this matter factly. Her feirce determined eyes continued looking intently at all her comrades as fewer people looked away. She willed her unshakable spirit to evelope all those around her and strengthen their resolve and confidence.

“We are about to perform on the same stage as them in a short while. And having now witnessed the level of excellence i know without a doubt we more than earned our spot here.” Pausing momenentarily, “our hard work and dedication make it so we just have to go out there and do what we always do. Have fun and perform your heart out!

I learned to live behind a mask, Hiding all my feelings. Force a smile, and if they ask, Pretend I'm not still reeling.

I learned to live unlike myself, Bending to every wish. Fading, but you could never tell. Was it worth the risk?

I learned to live with all formality, Playing my part with ease. Slowly, painfully, I forgot reality. Who was I supposed to be?

I learned to live a dangerous lie, Where I almost lost myself. My world was one of compromise, A pathway straight to hell.

I learned to live behind a mask, Then one day, You walked in. You gently hugged me close asked, "My daughter, where have you been?"

"I've been lost" I replied, "Broken, hopeless, wandering. I've gone to far to be revived, My heart is lost to pondering."

Gently, He smiled and shook His head, "My daughter, you are loved. Come to me and find your rest, You are safe, precious one."

"But how can it be?" I sank to my knees, "I've betrayed your very trust. I lost my way and dropped the keys, The lock to my heart has turned to rust."

But when I looked into His eyes, I knew he was not lying. My heart fluttered with surprise, My attention no longer vying.

I learned to live behind a mask 'Till the day You walked in. You pieced back together my heart at last, The lies were caving again.

My mask has fallen to the floor In a billion, shattered pieces. But instead of fear, my heart swells more, You gave my life a reason.

I learned to live behind a mask, But now I am learning again. Learning to love, to live, to laugh, To be whole and strengthened.

I learned to live behind a mask, But at last, I am free. So if someday when again they ask, I'll answer honestly.

If you've learned to live behind a mask, Leave the lies behind. You'll find your sight renewed at last, And the Savior's arms are open wide.

I can make the stars Or I can make you see some Sprinkle some fairy dust And make you shine Or load you in dust To make you blind

I can pull the strings And make you dance to my tune You could be a dancing mermaid Or nothing for all I care

You sing, I chorus You dance, I group You shout, I amplify You cry, I shut down

You get standing ovation And continuous claps Followed by fame and wealth Which you forget to share I stand in shadows behind you Always making the magic happen

For, you never remember There is no you without me There is no puppet without a puppeteer No King without a kingmaker

I can make or break lives Just with my whim Filling me with satisfaction Upto the brim There is no other place that I’d rather be One which is not “behind the scenes.”

I am like play. My only purpose is to entertain. Sometimes I make you laugh, Sometimes I make you gasp. Sometimes I make you worry, Sometimes I make you smile. Sometimes I make you cry, Sometimes I make you care. I can be whatever you want. Just tell me what genre you’d like, And I can be it. He wants a comedy, And she wants a romance. He wants a fantasy, And she wants a tragedy. I can perform whatever show you want, As long as you tell me. But I cannot perform if you don’t choose. If I don’t know what you want, I can only do my best, Which is so rarely enough.

Because behind the scenes of my mind, I am a complicated disaster. My props are all wrecks, My lighting is fried. My actors are scrambling, Unsure who should star.

But you’ll never know, I won’t let it show. I will just do my best, And then all the rest.

A beautiful dance of smiles With moves so precise But what nobody knows Is the strife behind the scenes

Little Anna is an orphan Alone and afraid But never tells a soul

George is forced to do what he doesn’t want He doesn’t have his own life But lives for another

Headmaster Sally Looks cam, cool, and collected But behind the scenes she wants to be mended Betrayed by her boyfriend Overwhelmed by debt

All of the dancers Great and small Boy and girl Non-binary And everyone else

Have challenges But they hide them Behind the scenes

But what they don’t know Is if they opened the curtain Of their heart They might just find That they have more in common Then they think

Is this the end? This can’t be it Surely not Right?

Tears threatening to flow As the curtains whizz by Massive group hugs As a goodbye

Back at home Sore eyes tired from crying Reminiscing on the times backstage And the inside jokes The songs The friends The dances The everything.

Is this the end? This can’t be it Surely not Right?

^^^^^

Today was my last show at the pantomime I’ve been doing for a week. Imma be honest it was sad as hell because I know that I’m not going to be able to do it again. And that broke me. I also did the another pantomime last year with the same company but I knew that this year was gonna be last. And, crackers, it hurts. I’m not even joking tears are falling down my face as I write this, and it also doesn’t help that there’s a sad song playing through my phone.

I watch you dance Your short curls flowing with your grace Your expression unwavered by the hundreds of faces

I watch you enviously Your unmatched work jumps at my vision The way your adorable grin smears across your face The joy you bring to the world puts the sun to shame

I sit siliently…Waiting… Watching

Dancing in the background of your shadow You can see me, if you tried And you have The small note I received in the cold dark winter day, bringing the warm summer feeling to my stomach shows it

The few words you speak of me throughout the year just solidifies the permanence of the butterflies flirting around the stage

Others have claimed you as the ugly duckling How wrong they are. Your misty eyes pierce through the air, sending a chill down my very spine. Even when curled up in the corner of the room Your presence never fails to overwhelm the atmosphere with a calmness.

I search for you In between the pages of my favourite book, Or between grocery isles Or in the sky, my vision illuminated by the moon, whose existence is crucial to the weather of the earth, as you are to my perception to self.

Even behind your shadow I feel my self grow, A spotlight in the waves of the curtains, I dance for myself And I dance with you

Behind the scenes she falls Crashing to the ground Bruising her spirit Pain pierces the skin Erupting like a volcano Spewing all over Can’t escape it

Behind the scenes she cries Hot tears spilling down her cheeks Drying out her mouth Creating a pounding in her head Can’t escape it

Behind the scenes she’s teased Tormented and mocked Around her are laughs and smirks While she stands frozen Shaking and humiliated Can’t escape it

On the stage she dances Swirling and twirling Graceful, elegant Leaping and landing Poised and pretty Perfectly executed And they will never know. What happened behind the scenes.