“You were the only reason, the only reason at all. You were my peace, and now I feel like I can’t even think.. I can’t even breathe..” I said to him with tears rolling down my face.

“You knew how things were, you knew.. I don’t know what else to say..” He said back to me.

“Yeah, I did know. But knowing and being blindsided by it happening and it actually becoming more real, more permanent… it’s a lot to take in. I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut, like you’ve taken all the air from my lungs.. I cry whenever I think about it, my eyes burn. You just don’t get it. You don’t understand my feelings. Maybe you never have.” I walked away. I needed some air. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate.

I think I was in shock. The days were passing but I was frozen in time. I solely existed on one spot on my couch and always in the same clothing. When I wasn’t on the couch I was in bed sleeping. Why? Because sleep meant I didn’t have to think about my life. Sleep meant time passed and my head was empty, lucky enough for me I didn't dream.

I loved him. I couldn't help it, could stop it, couldn't turn it off. I've tried but it's pointless. I know I can exist without him, I've done it every time he's disappeared. But I hate it. Talking to him is the highlight of my day. And I could go on and on about all of the things I feel about him, the thoughts I have about him... But none of it would make a difference. I could have been everything he ever wanted... and he let me go, so I guess he'll never know.

That's what I think stings the most. The fact that he didn't care, that he let me walk away.

You were the only reason, the only reason at all The only one that kept me from drowning in my flaws

You talked me up, you tore me down You built my throne, then took my crown

You stomped on my heart again and again After saying I’m funny and that I’m your best friend

Well, hun, I guess I’m not, not anymore Not after you verbally knocked me to the floor

I’m done with you, I hope you know that And I hope you know that you’re a brat

My heart pounded in my chest as I came face to face with ‘the one’. Yes, he was the one who was going to make all my dreams come true, he was the one to make me happy... The one who I wanted to spend eternity with...

Those beautiful, sparkling blue eyes focused on me as I called out to him. “H-hey, Nils! Have you got a minute? I-I have something I need to tell you!”

Honestly, I couldn’t believe I was doing this... I couldn’t believe that I actually went through with this! I couldn’t let him see how nervous I was, so I did my best to conceal my weakness and keep going, unaware of what was awaiting me at the end of this tunnel.

“Oh, hey Coco... How’s things with you?” Nils responded as I made my way over to him, totally oblivious to the stress that I was going through...

“Eh, things have been a-alright... Y-you?” “Ah, they have been excellent on my end! My best buddy, Amelia, got hired into her dream job as a video game developer!” Nils smiles, showing his perfect pearly whites.

At the time, it was now or never, so I just got straight to the point, trying hard not to completely lose my will.

“Nils... I have something v-very important I need to tell you...” I started, with my eyes laser-focused on Nils and only Nils. “Ah, what is troubling you, Coco? You can always ask me for advice, remember?” “Ah ha ha... I-I know... But it isn’t advice I’m l-l-looking for...!” I stammered as I tried to gather all of my courage to finish what I had started. “Hm? Why are you s-s-stuttering like that?” Nils mocks me, with a smirk on his pale face. “I-I... I LIKE YOU... A LOT!!!” I yelled out loud. Nils looked at me as if I was crazy... He even started chuckling to himself as he just stared at me with those deep, blue eyes. I was hyperventilating by this point, nearly on the verge of passing out from the pressure. I tried my best to look serious as I watched Nils laugh to himself, but it was obvious that he didn’t buy it.

“Nyeh he he he! Oh goodness... That was a good one, Coco... But seriously, what were you wanting to say to me?” Nils struggled to stop contain his laughter. “I... I’m in love with you, Nils... W-would you be my... B-boyfriend...?” I confessed properly this time, being sure to look at Nils as I spoke. Nils simply stared in silence before speaking again. “... Uh... Oh dear... I-I’m sorry to say this, my dear Coco... B-but... I already have someone special...” He apologised, even though the damage was already done.

“B-b-but... You were the only reason, the only reason at all... I only stayed at this miserable, lonely job because of you...”

Tanya stood atop the narrow roof, silhouetted against the half moon which hung in the sky. Facing her was the figure that she had been chasing for the last week. The figure who had framed her. The figure that looked too familiar, even under the hood. “Who are you?” Tanya asked. The woman across from her laughed, “What? You don’t even recognize me?” She spoke with a district British accent, one that reminded Tanya of someone she knew long ago... “J-Jemma?” She asked, dread showing clear on her face. Jemma smiled before lifting the hood, “Poetic isn’t it? Ending at the beginning?” She gestured to the city which lay before them. The city of lights. “How?” Was all Tanya could manage. “How what? How did I frame you? How did I find you? How did I escape?” She said the last word with such venom that Tanya flinched. “Jemma you know I didn’t mean-“ “LIKE HELL YOU DIDN’T!” She quickly schooled her features, “Don’t make me laugh. I know your game. Capture the famous Jemma Black and get promoted right?” She barked a laugh, “Oh but I got free, not even that Russian Hellhole could keep me locked up.” “Really, I tried to get you out-“ Tanya began, but she was cut off. “Oh by selling out to the Americans, huh?” “I didn’t sell out! I tried to convince my senior officers to let you free, but when it became clear that the Russian government wasn’t going to give you up, the Americans cut me a deal!” “What be their pet monkey and they would get me out? And you believed them? Not even my own government would come after me.” “It was the best chance I had,” Tanya told her ashamed. “Jemma, I love you.” “I’ve had enough of your lies.” “Jemma,” Tanya said softly, “you were the only reason, the only reason at all.” “Sure I was, keep telling yourself that and maybe one day you’ll even believe it,” Jemma said harshly. “Whatever the case, your life is over; the Americans hate you now, and the Russians would sooner see you dead then on their side. You have nowhere to go.” “So what now? You’ll shoot me?” She spat bitterly. “Oh no, that would be too good for you. Instead I’ll watch you spiral downward, knowing that you lost everything.” Tanya gritted her teeth, “Well, if I have to go down, I’m taking you with me.” She rushed forward, grabbing Jemma in a last embrace before jumping off the roof.

Every day, I wake in excitement to see you. Every week, I create new memories with you. Every month, we grow together as one. Every year, we celebrate our love. Just one year, you left me. Alone. Every day, I wake with bitter truth. Every week, I regret missed opportunities. Every month, I realize how far we’ve fallen apart. Every year, only reminds me of what I’ve lost. I’ve lost my spirit. I’ve lost my heart. I’ve lost my meaning. I’ve lost my reason to be happy.

You were the only reason, the only reason at all.

Oliver stumbled down the city streets, struggling to keep his head up under the weight of his intoxication. It was the heat of summertime and sweat dripped down his brow, burning his eyes. They watered both from the sting and an overwhelming swell of feelings brought on by the liquor. Steadying himself he pulled his hat down low over his face, trying to hide his shame. He had missed her funeral in his drunken stupor, but was now making his way to her grave. It was his fault she had died and he knew it. He thought he would be able to protect her. Now she was gone and he was alone. Oliver felt his chest tighten as the crushing press of grief sought to overwhelm him. Stopping in his tracks, a surge of anger took hold of him, and an intense rage began to burn behind his eyes. He may not have been able to protect her, but now he had nothing to lose. A smile started to creep it’s way onto his face, as the thought sank in Oliver said to himself “to forgive is divine, but vengeance is mine.” With the inferno no inside him, he knew what he had to do, where he had to go, who he had to kill. Walking briskly through the cities slums, human waste piled high on the sidewalks, Oliver lit a cigarette. The bar he was headed to was a frequent for many unsavory magical types and was run by an old acquaintance of his, the djin Barbatos. He would have the information Oliver needed. It was a long walk and yet it did little to silence his inner demons. They fed the flames of his turmoil, to the extent that when he arrived at the bar he nearly tore the door from its frame. Storming into the establishment that reeked of stale beer and urine he roared “Show yourself Barbatos! I need answers you slimy little shit!” Ganesh, the bartender, attempted to appease him, but Oliver was blinded by his own wraith. With a solid left jab, followed by a punch to the Indian man’s stomach Oliver had him on the ground. Ganesh was no fighter. Oliver pulled his revolver, pointing it at the bartender’s head. Screaming “Barbatos! I swear on my immortal soul I’ll shoot. Show yourself or your man gets it.” In a puff of red smoke, a sleek man with slicked back black hair and a burgundy suit appeared, a sly smile playing across his lips. The djin spoke in a voice layered with charm and smooth as honey “My friend, Straw-Hat, please. There is no need for such violence. I’m sure you and I can come to an understanding.” There was magic in his words, and Oliver could feel it pulling at the threads of his thoughts. Clamping down on his mind, he spat at the man’s feet. Saying with a snarl “She was the only reason I had at all for playing nice.”

When you told me to hang on, why did it scare me so? Because you were a reason to stick around, Or Because you were the only reason- the only reason at all?

You were the reason! The only reason at all! The only person with the power to make me feel utterly useless. You are perfect and every thing every one wants to be. I'm the one you've chosen to clean the messes you make but for once I can't. This is my life! I'm scared to say this but it's what I need. I know now you're mad but now, now I have to go.

You stared at me, silent. Glowing blue, beckoning. I had something far more important to accomplish, but the draw was still there. The same from years ago. The power you would bestow on me. I’d be king, as I was promised. I’d make Father proud. The only reason to take you away.

I pull my hood over my head, rushing past the city goers. This is completely humiliating, how could I be so stupid. I can’t get that image out of my head and I can’t tell if this water sliding down my cheeks is from the rain or my tears. I make my way to my favourite coffee shop, the only place in New York City so far that has felt like home to me. It’s always warm and comforting and the waitress sometimes gives me free cake. I sit down in a hidden stall at the back hiding my face. The waitress takes my usual order and all I can do is nod and I can already see it in her eyes. What I didn’t want, that sympathetic stare and my eyes glaze over again.

This was supposed to be my fresh start, in the city with my fiancé, settling into our apartment and embarking on a new adventure. He was my everything, the entire reason I came here and for the sole purpose of his new job. I mean I didn’t mind, I always wanted to support him in anything and I know wherever he was I could be happy too, it was just an adjustment. To think of everything I sacrificed though and he just gave it up for some secretary tramp!

That’s it, I will throw the ring in his face when I get back and then I will decide what it is that I want. “Is this seat taken?” I look up at the face that matches that deep voice, from his dark black hair to his chiseled jaw. His eyes are kind but yet commanding, he is well built and if I do say so myself it seems as though the gods created him. “Sorry, everywhere else is full but if you aren’t comfortable, that’s alright.” He smiles and I forget that I have been staring at him for what seems like forever, he probably thinks there is something wrong with me. “Of course, I don’t mind, go ahead.”

He strikes up a conversation with me and for some time I forget why it is I first came to this city. In my cosy cafe, sitting across from this handsome stranger, maybe the city isn’t as bad as I thought and maybe there is some place for me in it.