𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓬𝓪𝓷'𝓽 𝓫𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰, I thought as my ears twitched at his confession toward his friend. He admitted his love for me even though I'm a werewolf and he's a human. "So... You're in love... With a werewolf? Do you honestly see how dangerous that is?!?" Kisho yelled. I rolled my eyes, 𝓐𝓽 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓽 𝓱𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓼 𝓪 𝓼𝓮𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭. Zachery gazed at the night sky in deep thought then looked back at Kisho, his eyes determined. "No I don't...because I never met anyone as caring and gentle as her" he said in a soft whisper. I could see the blush forming in his face as he continues to look in the starry sky. My heart beats quicker, 𝓘'𝓶 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓼𝓾𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝔀𝓪𝔂... 𝓦𝓱𝔂 𝓭𝓲𝓭 𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪 𝓱𝓾𝓶𝓪𝓷?!? I slowly step back on the tree branch not realizing how small it was when I fall back. I try to get a good grip on the trunk of the tree but I was too far. I didn't feel the hard surface of the ground so I slowly open my eyes. "G-Grace?" I quickly look up and see Zachery's emerald eyes, holding my body as gently a possible. "Hey..." I grumbled. "Are you ok? You took quite a fall there" he searched my body for any cuts or bruises. "I'm fine just didn't watch where I was going and I could've landed" I crossed my arms trying to push down how hard my heart was beating. He smiled, "Right" My eyes gazed into his as he placed me down softly. "I need to tell you something, Grace" he whispers. "What is it?" I reply returning the whisper. "I-I'm in love with you..."

(CW: aphobia / aro and ace issues)

I’ve never quite fully understood the concept of a soulmate.  That we are all halves of a person until we meet another, who is meant to complete us, is downright absurd.  I’ve never once felt like I was missing a piece, like I needed anyone else to make me whole.  Besides, once a soulmate is discovered, what are you supposed to do with them?  Hold hands while trying to watch the sunset in a cloudy park, buy each other wilting red roses waiting to die, and, God forbid, kiss each other in the middle of a thunderstorm?  The thought does nothing but flood my brain with a sickening sort of dread.  

So why, pray tell, does everyone around me want one so badly?  And why can’t they understand why I don’t?  They speak of it with this reverent tone, as if it’s the utmost part of the human experience.  But what’s the point of finding someone who makes you fall head over heels when you don’t even know what that feels like?

They say when you look into the eyes of your soulmate, it feels like looking into the eyes of an old friend, someone you’ve met a hundred times before in a hundred different lifetimes, and that’s how you know when you’ve met them.  Which is why I make a point to keep my eyes cast down as much as possible. 

My therapist is trying, very much in vain, to help me work through these soulmate issues.  

“What I don’t understand is why you’re so scared of having a soulmate,” she likes to tell me.  “It’s a beautiful thing, you know.  To be in love.”  And I’ll try to explain that it isn’t fear, exactly, but revulsion.  Like the butterflies I’m supposed to be feeling in my stomach were replaced with a thousand squirming hagfish.  And I want to gag, and cry, and scream. 

She’s attempting to help me work up to making basic eye contact.  She—and practically all of my friends and family—say it’s necessary when it comes to making interpersonal connections, and I have to get myself to be able to do it at some point or other. They’re all wasting their time.  I’ll never look into another person’s eyes for as long as I live, no matter what anyone tells me.  I’d rather keep staring at shoes and hiding behind my overgrown bangs than risk finding out whether someone is my soulmate or not.  

I sound messed up, I know.  What kind of person doesn’t want to find everlasting love?  Even my therapist thinks there’s something wrong with me, I suspect.  But I simply don’t want to have to spend my life making promises of love I don’t think I can fulfill.  I don’t want to write sappy letters and Valentine’s Day cards and pretend I mean those words when I don’t.

I refuse to have a soulmate.  And I refuse to fall in love, because if I did, it wouldn’t at all be true.

School dances.

Those used to scare the crap out of Bell. People went full on for these. Dance proposals. Evening gowns. Limos. Her school took dates very seriously. It caused the soulmate topic even more prevalent than usual. It made her uncomfortable. For more than one reason. She never knew if she and Cross went as friends or went out of conscience.

That was before they found out they were soulmates. Now she can go with Cross as boyfriend and girlfriend. As soulmates. It’ll be a whole new experience for her.

Her friend group expanded and it will be the best day ever.

Or she hopes.

Cross officially asked her to go with him. Of course she said yes.

Roman and Jeremiah adorably asked each other at the same time without knowing beforehand that was the other’s goal. Lou and Jones decided to go together as friends. Amelie and Ria have been dancing around each other. At the moment, they are going as friends, but Bell isn’t sure how much longer it will be as just friends.

It’s going to be perfect.

OoOoO

Walking into the school gym that is decorated to fit the Starry Night theme, Bell is nervous. While their friends knew of them dating and their soulmate status, this would be the first official event where Bell and Cross would be openly together.

Streamers and balloons in midnight blue with a splash of yellow are draped throughout the space. Shiny stars hand from the ceiling. The tableclothes were black with glow in the dark dots. Their decorating budget must have gotten bigger with the large scale arrangements.

As Bell strolls around, looking for their assigned table, her silver dress tickles her thighs. She opted for a shorter dress since she herself is so short. At least then, a long dress wouldn’t drown her.

It is fairly simple with a sparkly lace halter top and a flowy satin skirt. Dividing the two is a belt that looked like it could be a necklace if it were around her neck. To finish the outfit, she had a necklace with a single star pendant on the end and matching dangling earrings.

Once they find table 27, they all sit and talk amongst themselves. The room is filling very quickly, so the chattering increases.

Bell scrolls through some of the pictures they took at her house. Selecting one to enlarge it, a soft smile grows in her face.

In the picture, it is of the girls. She and Lou are in the middle because of their shorter stature, though Lou is a good couple inches taller. Lou’s midnight blue dress stands out on her pale skin and she stuns in that color. It is a buttery soft fabric that reflects the light every so often.

Next to Bell is Amelie. Not many people could pull off a pale yellow gown, but she does. Instead of washing her out, it makes her shine brighter. It has a simple straight neckline and spaghetti straps, and yet does not look plain on her.

In the other side, next to Lou, is Ria in a dress that is the epitome of the theme. She is practically wearing the Starry Night as a dress. Ria is known for her statement outfits, but this is a stand out piece. Artwork.

She swipes to the next one and it’s them in similar position but they are throwing out peace signs.

In their wrists were brightly colored corsages. Jeremiah literally grew them as the boys waited for the girls to finish getting dressed.

“Bell!”

Her head whips up, not having realized how long she had been studying the photos.

“Look up!” Jeremiah points up and she does. Her jaw drops. Stars twinkled in the open air above them. Not the plastic glittery ones. Real ones. They spin and float, giving a dynamic display.

“Who’s doing this?” Ria asks, glancing around. Amelie nudges her arm and her head juts to the far corner. A girl, that Bell only slightly recognizes, is moving her glowing hands almost like an orchestra.

“That’s Lane. She’s on the student council. Illusions are her power,” Roman recites. When everyone stares at him, he shrugs. “What? I pay attention.”

“Well it’s beautiful,” Lou comments, eyes gazing up in wonder. Everyone was doing the same.

It is magical.

OoOoO

After mediocre food and some silly dancing, Bell leaves her group to look for a place to sit for a moment. Even though her heels were high, they were still more than she is used to.

While there are assigned tables, with some people dancing and some socializing, people have haphazardly sat where they want to. That leaves her original seat occupied.

Bell notices Lane, hands still giving off a soft light, at a table by herself.

“Hi, can I sit here?” She asks the girl.

Her dark chocolate hair, that acted as a curtain, falls to the side, revealing her olive skin and similar cocoa eyes.

“Sure.”

“It’s stunning. What you’re doing.” Bell’s head tilts upwards to gesture towards the stars.

Lane’s head ducks down, cheeks blushing. “Thanks.”

Silence falls between them. Lane is a quiet person. Like how Amelie was in a way. But Amelie was because of secretly being soulmateless. Pushing people away. Lane seems….content. Like she doesn’t feel the need to say anything.

“You know that if it takes a lot of concentration or energy, you can stop and enjoy yourself,” Bell says.

Meeting her eyes, Lane shrugs. “It doesn’t take that much work. I like doing it. It’s worth it to see the wonder, the joy.” As if to prove her point, more stars appear and people glance up to stargaze.

“What a beautiful way of looking at it,” Bell replies, admiring the unique display of power.

“I like my powers. I don’t need anything else.”

Turning to search for her friends, she sees them dancing around. “You sound like Lou.”

Following her eyes, Lane smiles, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It is, trust me. She came with a date but they are just friends. It’s so weird how obsessed this school gets with having a date or not having one.” Realizing that she doesn’t really know Lane or Lane’s views, she is quick to apologize, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t assume or go off on a tangent.”

“No, you’re good,” Lane pauses before continuing, “I agree. Society as a whole focuses on soulmates and dating way too much. As an aroace person, I find it kind of silly that people think I should be in a relationship just because the universe gave me one.”

While Bell knows aroace people exist, they are very rare with almost everyone having a soulmate. It is even more uncommon for someone to be openly aroace in a soulmate-obsessed society.

“I think it’s great how confident you are.”

“Confident?” Lane questioned.

Bell hesitates, trying to figure out how to put it into words, “Yeah, while a lot of people search for their other half, feeling incomplete, you are already whole. Not needing a soulmate to be happy.”

For most of her life, people defined her life by not having a soulmate. They looked down on her and pitied her. Even though she ended up having one when it seemed like she didn’t, those years of feeling soulmateless didn’t go away. So Bell thinks it’s great that Lane doesn’t define her life by relationships.

“I like how you put it. I don’t need someone to be happy with myself,” Lane responds with a smile.

“Bell! We reclaimed our table,” Roman calls out to her, beckoning her back.

She glances between her friends and then back to Lane. It felt like Deja vu. Back with Amelie before they were friends.

Seeing Lane, her decision is the same.

“Hey Lane, do you want to join us?”

——— (I find it really important to have an aroace person, especially with this concept for this world. As someone who is figuring out if she is aromantic or asexual or both, I wanted to write a character that felt deeply personal.)

Close your heart Live smart Too much stress Buy a new dress

Don’t look twice You don’t have to be nice Live alone Avoid the phone

Work for yourself Heart on the shelf Soulmates are fake Love hesitate

Kat hated these weekly meetings with the Ministry. Standing in line for an hour, filling out form after form, and only sips of burnt coffee and a nibble of stale donut to keep her occupied on this carousel they implored was for her benefit. “Katherine Mann,” she grimaced at the sound of her name cooly called. Maybe this time they would take the hint. Quickly gathering her paperwork, bag, and book that she had been able to almost finish, she calmly walked past the lonely hearts club of soulmateless individuals. Most had tears in their eyes and some sobbed through an entire tissue box before she could even write her name. “I prefer Kat.” The young girl looked up from her clipboard. “Sorry.” Her little smile, big doe eyes, and perfectly manicured look made Kat want to punch her in the face. “I prefer to be called Kat, not Katherine.” She adjusted her bag that was slowly making its own escape. “But the paper says Katherine.” The girl pointed to her clipboard, as though scolding a child who did not know their lessons. “My mother was Katherine, but I prefer Kat. Simple, easy to spell, and my own.” “You don’t like your name?” It was as if someone said they hated puppies and chocolate, and her brain couldn’t comprehend what she was being told. “You know what,” Kat paused for a moment, “never mind what I said. Let’s get this over with.” Trying to let out a smile with a mildly crooked front tooth, made Kat wish it was evening and a drink was in hand. “Follow me please.” Trotting away in her stilettos got Kat thinking how her mother and her would’ve laughed about the absurdity of what was happening. If she has known how miserable Kat would’ve been since turning 21 almost 9 years along, she never would’ve signed her up for the Ministy’s love connection or what Kat referred to under her breath as fantasy idiots. Each person connected with another through a series of questions and answers, and tests that would make a gynecologist blush. They made a turn after twist through the halls. Passing door after door with different names and sounds coming from them all. Kat never could remember where she was in this place, and she knew they preferred it that way. The girl checked her clipboard with each turn, only pausing long enough to let a couple pass. Kat caught a glimpse of them. Clothes slightly amiss, hair wildly shaken, and a smile on both of their faces knowing they were not leaving alone today. “Here we are.” The little blonde held out a keycard and unlocked the door. “What are we doing today?” Kat entered the room, but it wasn’t like the previous ones she had been in. This one felt different. Cold and dark with just a soft pad in the middle of the room. “Please take a seat. The test will begin in a few moments.” Carefully the girl closed the door behind her, leaving Kat to wonder what type they would put her through this year. She threw her bag in the corner and took a quick stroll around the room. Other than the lack of furniture, it seemed like all the other rooms. Maybe this was some form of yoga for the mind, but that was a passing fantasy as the door clicked open and in walked a tall, dark man with a….

Penny wasn’t very into the idea of a soulmate. She hated that there was only one person who was meant for you but they could live on the other side of the world and you would never even know they existed. Or in others cases, they might be as close as a next door neighbour.

As she sat down in the corner of a coffee shop on the end of the street, she looked around to see couples snogging. There was a couple on the other side of the shop who were really going for it and then there was another couple who looked like it was their first date. The couple next to Penny were holding hands and chatting as the blonde boy leaned over to kiss the girl with the mouse brown hair on the cheek. The girl blushed as they went back to talking.

It was Valentine’s Day today. The worst day in Penny’s opinion. There was a new waiter who served her. His name was Daniel, had black hair and blue eyes and looked around the same age as Penny, about 24. He was wearing a suit supplied by the shop with lots of love hearts on it, Penny was mortified. As he came over and asked her what she would like to order, Penny started to feel a feeling inside her she had only felt once before.

When she 7 years old and went to the park with her dad. Her dad was reading the newspaper and left her to go and play. Penny had seen a black haired boy with blue eyes and had fancied him. Not knowing the consequences, she told him how they felt after only knowing each other for like 5 minutes and of course, to Penny’s horror, he just ran away.

Penny felt the same way she had felt 17 years ago. Love. She looked into the waiters blue eyes and asked him a simple question.

“When can I order?”

There is only tragedy in this game of hearts.

Everyone always played ping pong with Luca’s heart.

Luca always knew this truth. No matter how hard he tried, he could never prove this truth wrong.

Now, they wanted to force an ‘arrange marriage’ on him.

Love cannot be forced. It cannot be arranged. It can only be used as a stepping stone for desires

Luca lowered his head, he had done everything in his power, to be the villainous fiancé.

But love blinds people.

In her rose-tinted glasses, she always chased after him.

No matter how many walls he built, she always followed, like the loyal, naive puppy she was

That was who, Penelope was.

Maybe she was naive to beauty? Or desperate in her pursuit in power through marriage? It was hard to decide in the game of hearts

But whatever her intentions were, Luca couldn’t tell whether she was a puppy, or a wolf hiding in sheep’s clothings

"You know," Masahiko twirled a length of ribbon idly around his finger, "there are other ways."

Selander may have been reptilian in form but even he felt the temperature in the room rise when Masahiko spoke.

"Other ... ways?" he managed to say. "What other ways?"

"Well," Masahiko steepled his fingers, "at the risk of sounding lawless, I would suggest good old fashioned blackmail. You know, catch them in a compromising position."

"I see," Selander said evenly, "and how do you suggest we do that?"

Here Masahiko's face split into a wide grin. "We compromise them, of course."

"I ... I'm not sure I follow," Selander choked out. "Compromise how?"

"Oh, come on," Masahiko knocked their shoulders together, "I think you know what I'm saying."

Selander frowned. "Are you suggesting we attack them? Compromising their internal organs, yes?"

Masahiko's face fell. "What?" He shuddered. "No! That's not what I was saying at all. I meant we should seduce them."

If Selander had been uncomfortable before then now he was practically unmoored. He swallowed thickly.

"I'm afraid that lies ... outside my area of expertise."

"Don't worry," Masahiko's smile was back, "I am something of an expert."

Young girls listen to their grandmothers—even when their grandmothers are rambling nonsense. The nonsense sticks better than the good sense.

“It’s like a whirlwind. It picks you up and carries you where you don’t want to go,” said Nana Mia. She lifted her ice tea that definitely wasn’t only ice tea, and gulped the fire water down. She rocked in her chair on the porch as little Edwina sat on the steps, watched the sun drop below the trees on the horizon, and hung to every word. “Love. All that ever did was let me down,” she continued. She didn’t mean for the girl to take it to heart.

Edwina grew listening to Nana Mia, who found her soulmate young, married, had two daughters, one was Edwina’s mother of course, and settled down in a house at the end of a dirt road. He died soon after. The area had oaks, willows, yews, maples, and any other kind of tree you could name due to Mia and her deceased husband’s love of botany. The trickiest thing to grow was the palm tree, poor thing so out of place.

Edwina came over every day growing up and helped her widowed Nana with the care of the trees, skipping social events like school dances, Halloween parties, and even basic invites by friends to the movies. Every once in a while, Nana said something like, “Don’t you have friends, child?” Edwina would reply by saying, “But you need help here, Nana,” even though that wasn’t the real reason.

When she graduated high school, she got a job at a local library and moved in with Nana Mia to take care of her. Her grandmother’s hair had turned entirely white and Nana slept on the living room futon for convenience.

Nana didn’t mind the help, but told Edwina, “You know, you got someone out there. He, or she, who knows, is waiting for you.”

“Nana, I’ll find him when I find her,” said Edwina with a cheeky grin.

“Wait, what? Which one is it?” said Nana. She’d ask her granddaughter again, but Edwina just smiled.

Edwina would spend as much time at the house as possible. No way to be found if you aren’t out and about she thought. Love just carries you away from what you care about she’d say to herself.

One day, Edwina woke from bed in her little pink room not far from the living room, and walked in to say good morning to Nana. Nana sat still as though her body turned to ice. “Nana? Are you okay?” Feeling her arm tense as Nana didn’t respond, she ran to the landline and dialed 911.

Paramedics came and after seeing Mia, told Edwina they’d have to rush her to the hospital. “A still seizure. You’re lucky. Her vitals are good.”

Edwina hopped in the back of the ambulance with the paramedic as they rushed to the hospital. When they arrived, they told her to stay in the waiting room. Edwina waited awhile and finally a nurse called her into a room where her grandmother laid on a bed set at an incline for her head.

“Grandma!” she said as tears fell from her eyes. She leaned in to hug her.

“It’s alright child,” Nana said.

Coming in behind the two of them, a young man with clip board and white coat started telling Edwina about seizures. “We want to keep her for today to run some tests, then she should be good to go.” The man had blue eyes, dark hair, and skin fair from working inside. His image stuck with her through the rest of day. She stayed in the room with her grandmother all day, staring out the window into a garden with a fountain.

Finally, she turned to Nana and said, “Nana, how do you know if you’ve found your soulmate?”

“Oh, you won’t have to have me tell you. You’ll know and they’ll know,,” said Nana.

She waited in the room until the man with the blue eyes came back. “Everything is good to go as long as she takes this,” he said, handing Edwina a prescription. Then, as he was about to step out, he stopped and turned, “I’m sorry, it’s the wrong time and place but would you like to get some coffee later?”

Edwina had almost asked the same question.

“If she doesn’t, I do,” said Nana with a laugh that put a smile on Edwina’s face.

Everyone searches for a soulmate, right? Someone to share all their experiences with, to try new things with, to love and be loved by.

Well, I have a dedicated mark to show me who my soulmate is when I meet her. Everyone does.

Mostly appearing on the wrist or ankle, soulmate marks are a fact of life; they can not and will not be erased or changed once developed.

Those who attempt to edit their marks experience horrendous pain, which also applies to the unfortunate soul who was paired with them.

For that reason alone, the majority of the population wears protective slips over their birthmarks, as some do not know which unique shape their soulmate will share, and wish to spare themselves and their fated partner the pain.

Me? Not so much. I didn’t used to be like this; no, I had been just as excited to discover my soulmate as a young teenager. However, as I began to realise just what meeting her would entail, the concept became more and more terrifying to me.

Of course, most would think it to be a blessing. To have someone destined to be your perfect match, that is. But there’s one fatal flaw in the irreparable system of our universe.

Males will be matched with females. Likewise, females will be matched with males.

For me, that was a true Hell. At seventeen, when I had figured out who I was meant to be, at last, the realisation dawned on me that I would be forced together with someone I physically could not fall in love with.

And so, I made the resolution that if I could help it, I would never meet my soulmate. For I would not burden her, or myself, with the problems that would cause.

At eighteen, I loved for the first time. He and I got involved and it has been the best time of my life. I intend to stay with Markus until the end.

That’s why, when I came face to face with her in the grocery line, my heart stopped.

In perfect sync, both our faces fell.

The silence that followed was awkward enough that I gave in and spoke first:

“Err...hi, I’m Luke. You are?”

“Isabelle. Nice to meet you.” From her facial expression, it didn’t seem like it was nice to meet me at all.

“Is...something wrong?” I asked her quietly.

“Well, yeah. Kind of. It’s...hard to explain. But I can’t be with you.” She replied, looking at her shoes.

I breathed a sigh of relief, clapping her on the shoulder softly. “Don’t worry, I understand. I can’t be with you, either.”

Isabelle looked up at me in surprise. “Really?”

Smiling reassuringly, I nodded. “Really.”

She visibly relaxed, then started laughing. Her laugh was contagious and I soon found myself chuckling along.

“What are we laughing at?” I snorted, clapping a hand over my mouth.

“I...never expected...” she wheezed, “this to be so awkward! My friends all told me it’s a magical moment, but-“ she burst into laughter again.

“It’s the most awkward situation of my life!” I finished for her.

“Exactly!”

“Back to seriousness, though. Why is it that you can’t be with me?” I asked her curiously. Perhaps she was like me.

“Oh...well...I already have...a girlfriend...” She trailed off.

I burst out laughing, uncontrollably. “No way!” I replied. “You’re like me!”

She gasped. “Platonic soulmates it is!”

“Sounds perfect! Want to meet up later? Like a double date, except not with each other!”

“I’m so in!”

The years flew by after that, Isabelle got married to Yvonne, who just so happened to be Markus’ soulmate. Not a week later, Markus and I got married, and we all went on a shared honeymoon.

Sure, we were unconventional. But, we were happy right where we were.