I need to show someone how big my heart is It was locked up for a long time But now that I know myself again I think I can show her to the world. When my happiness returned there were left overs Angry feelings. Now I’m fixing the hole So I’ll sew it up, by showing everyone How big my heart is.

The downpour of rain came out of my eyes a painful symphony of memories The thunder roared thoughts i couldnt erase bugging me all day and all night The lightnight flashed a shocking pain in the brain leaving me bedridden The clouds grew darker shrouding my brain preventing my thoughts and emotions … 🫀

Sitting by the lake in the middle of the botanical gardens, I can’t help but feel happy. Happy to see the ducks as they swim around the water, diving under with their tails in the air. The trees breeze with the wind slowly moving, the park bench where I sit is covered with a tree with ferns that cover the hot sun away. The bushes with purple tips and orange flowers that are in the middle of the lake, shine bright with colour. The greenery shrubs that sit by the edge of the water whisp with the wind. The birds are sucking the nectar out of the red orange flowers as they drip below into the water. The water ripples as the wind comes past. There is a man on a stand up boat floating through the lake with tourists taking pictures of the nature that surrounds them Yes I can’t help being happy in this bliss, this is what life is made of, the nature, the sun and beautiful weather that brings this beautiful day.

Winter comes in soft, with a ache.
a sad chill that sets.
Upon the earth, upon my chest. The trees are bare, the sky is pale,
Like memories that encompassed in my brain, slowly flail.
 Each flake that falls is like your name. The wind sings a mournful song,
As if it knows the love we had, was wrong.
Or never had the chance to bloom,
Now buried in the winter with doom. I walk alone through the streets,
Where every step feels incomplete without you.
The world is still, but I still ache.
For love that time could not remake. And in the frost, I feel the sting.
a sting of things we lost. things that never had the chance to spring.
Winter holds me, tender, tight.
A warm embrace, which I felt with you at night.

…Too sensitive? I get sad when there are animals in the road And when birds can’t fly I’m too sensitive I cry over sunsets And while looking at the night sky I’m too sensitive I get overjoyed when seeing a bumblebee Or a pretty dragonfly I’m too sensitive I get overwhelmed with nature And how our souls always wander too high Maybe I’m too sensitive Or maybe I’m just the right amount of sensitive To fully experience this life

(To put into perspective, this was written in response to a poem centering around Rain and I being alike that someone very special in my life had written for me at the time.) Walking out to a breeze unfelt before I fall to my knees Others walking past without a second glance As I smell the memory of a first dance Sadness overcomes me Do they not see? Alone in my own nostalgia Did it ever rain at all? The sun beating down It’s fading from me As it dries It fades again Picking a single blade of grass This scent I hold forevermore Lost in translation among the rays But it’s not him Just a another Petrichor

I’m sick 😞 Common cold Hurts the soul Breathing sounds nice But not for me Sneezing hurts more then coughing Scratchy throat sliced open with daggers Massive headache wish I could write But this cold had already taken flight

In the hush of dawn, when the first light gleams, A train rolls forth, whispering dreams, With iron wheels that sing a tune, It's bound for the skies, 'neath the crescent moon. Papaw’s laughter, like a gentle breeze, Rides on the wind through the rustling trees, He loved the engines that thundered and roared, Each whistle a story, each journey adored. Now as the conductor calls, “All aboard!” He climbs on board, where the angels applaud, The train glistens gold in the morning light, Set for the heavens, into the bright. Through valleys of starlight, through clouds soft as lace, He travels on tracks that time can't erase, With family beside him, in hearts held so dear, Each memory a treasure, each smile a cheer. The landscape of love stretches wide and far, Past mountains of memory, under blessings' star, Every heartbeat a promise, every breath a sigh, For love is the journey that never says goodbye. So ride on, dear Papaw, on those celestial plains, With the wind in your hair and no more pains, In the hearts of us all, you forever will stay, As the train carries you home, to a brighter day.

From sorrow to hurt You changed me Scared of rejection Scared of being you From hurt to anger You left without saying bye You never saw my sleepless nights You weren’t there to see me cry From anger to hate It all just boiled The memories toiled Of the love you spoiled I hate myself for loving you I hate you for pretending to care From hate to rage I feel like an animal in a cage You adore from the sidelines But you didn’t read the warning signs The honey coated lies you tell only go so far From rage to pain What did you have to gain by lies? Why did you have to leave I was just a kid who couldn’t understand it Now I’m just a kid with MD You took my voice like I owed it to you Burried the love I still held on to. But you can’t take the rest of me. From pain to numbness You look like a stranger to me I don’t feel safe around you I loved you yet you can’t see the pain you caused From numbness to no emotion There are days where I remain silent There were times were I don’t eat enough There once was a time were I almost killed myself for the old you But you can’t see it can you? The sleepless nights the panic attacks You moved out west and left it all, you left me too. What happened to the girl I. Used to love? The sister I used to follow around I wanted to be like you now your just fading away tell me are you happy out there? I still feel your ghost here every time I look in the mirror I see a reflection of you Every time I laugh yours echos in the void Every time I’m around my friend I see glimpses of you through the crowds like your still here and nothing changed. But I have.

The magnolia sighs a mournful tune, As twilight drapes the Spanish moss in gloom. Mockingbird's melody, once sweet and high, Now whispers low, a lonesome, sobbing cry. The honeysuckles’ scent, once playful on the breeze, Holds sorrow's weight ‘neath heavy, drooping trees. The sun descends, a fiery, lonely sphere, Reflecting pain in waters dark and clear. A shadowed path, where laughter used to ring, Now echoes hollow with the woes it brings. The heart that danced with joy, now beats so slow, Aching with a love it cannot know.