I fall in love with every book character

The ones I read about

The ones I write

All of them seem so much better

Than the real boys

They don’t hurt me

They don’t leave me

Even the bad boys and troubled ones

Give me the comfort I seek

In between the lines of my books

I hold these characters dearly

The ones that make me feel alive

The ones that make me feel wanted

But at the end of the day ...

I loved soaking in your light.

I’d bask in it’s yellow glow.

But then I turned;

my ears at attention

and eyes no longer

fawn-hearted

the light became a prelude-

Screeching;

rubber on pavement.

I could only watch

My shadow illuminated on the tarmac

not by a sun

but captured

stone-still

by headlights....

can not turn off my mind

imagined scenrios

imagined feelings

imagined hurt

imagined love

imagined pain

imagined glee

can not turn off my heart

real relationships

real conversations

real time

real faces

real people

real happiness...

“Pick a card”

She whispers in my ear

I choose the fifth card

“Queen of hearts”

She says as

She kisses my cheek

“Did I pass?”

She nodd as she gives me a peck

Hypnotized by her

Gorgeous brown eyes

And the walks by the shore

And watching the sun rise

I saw her with another

She pleads with me

“He was just my brother”

And I agree

Till I witness

That horrific scene

And I feel a sort of sickness

Sh...

You try to show us that we are one

An earth, a community, your equal

Lie to our faces when you get hurt and stung

Our untraceable dead left to flee and fall

You tell us that you want peace for us

Shut us in a dark room, blind and waring

The big picture you paint still includes us

Without us, the picture frame cracks

Then the whole world can see you’re no leader

and none of us are free...

The gods scamper when she smiles. They’ve seen that shimmer in her eyes, right before she goes wild...

She used to write

love letters.

Sonnets of pleasure.

It was a trickle of

passionate sway,

amidst the darkness

she tucked away.

For she wasn’t

quite an angel,

as some were prone to say...

She was more complex moments, hidden behind a twisted frame...

Origami prose became

all that she ...

Bend me right

and break me off.

I'm a sympathetic

fool with scoff.

Romance is dead,

and no love can get

ahead.

I'm clawed in half,

and oh

SO

daft.

...please paint me

over there

in some

other nightmare…

-HMG...

I apologize,

Who were you expecting?

I believe you were expecting someone afraid,

A china-doll heart, hands that are perhaps intelligent but never brave.

Changeling that I am, I think I'll let you.

Just for today.

I think I'll let you admire me when I do the simplest things,

If I'm feeling generous, I'll even let you pretend to hold onto me,

And you're welcome think it's to keep me from falling.

...

the illusion

hopeless possession

captured experience

leaving these visions

symbols walk and breath

the quality of life will rust

tonight their bodies poured out over the the fire of the thing we titled Living

the illusion

the burning judge

passion for the eve

crackling confessions

silently meeting fools

another word will always

breed dissonance

the illusion

the dull complacency

the sa...

I will not pine for parasites today. Nor tip my hat, towards such domain. Loss of hope, is redemption for those of us who conquer lovers through shaky flows. Oh, I'm not done yet. I'll bleed out every ounce of this crushing regret. Fill the bucket to the brim, before I fall to such demise again. Every sip I ever took of him, regurgitating through my pours of oddly sin. Crowded whispers plague my m...