Staring in the mirror

I raise my hand

The girl in the mirror raises her hand

I touch my face, I feel my fingers against my cheek

The girl in the mirror does the same

I recognize that I’m touching something, that I’m feeling something

But I’m not really there.

I stare into my own eyes

My reflection does nothing.

I know I should feel something

So why don’t I?

Why have all my emotions left me?

It ...

It started as a song

But I’ve lost the melody.

Sitting at the grown up table,

_Is_ anyone stable?

I talked with the faces

Washed my hands with the broken flowers vases.

Sat with strangers on those stone-hard benches

Followed His tears in those life-worn trenches,

No one really wants to see over their neighbors fences.

Well

The absence of warmth. That’s how I’d describe it. The echo and th...

From as long as I can remember I was broken, forgotten and unseen,

From all the ones that were supposed to be there for me,

Dad always leaving me on the floor crying and bleeding,

From all the abuse and meaningless beatings,

My Mothers blank stare that continued without a care cut deeper than anything,

And my Brother and Sister we’re nothing but bitches always lying and deceiving,

So much for the ...

Is it real,

All those looks of admiration?

Or is it a game,

To see how hard she falls?

Is it real,

That you want to know her name?

Or is it a game,

So you can tell them who it was who fell?

Is it real,

Going out of your way to be near her, to see her?

Or is it a game?

Tell, please,

Is it real, or is it a game?...

I miss the times when my thoughts were overthrown

With thoughts of her

Not with thoughts of wanting to be dead

She would take over my brain for hours

With scenarios

Dreams

Hopes

Wishes

Now instead of her my thoughts are with suicide

Life

Death

Blade

I wish I could go back

To my sane mind

I need to go back

Please?...

If I see what I feel, I’d live in a meadow of daisy’s, along the shore, and I’d always be on a horse’s back. If I could see what I feel, the sky would be a permanent sunset. You could walk on the clouds. They would taste like cotton candy. And the sun! The sun would be kind, and keep everyone warm. She’d back off in the summer, and be sure not to roast us. There could be no money, so everyone just...

I’m not good with people

Bad at making friends

But what I know is

They’ll leave me in the end

They need me for a while

Because they’re lonely too

But then they’ll find a true friend

And I’ll be left again

I’m a shelter, a temporary home

For them to come and go

Till they completely tire

So I have just one question

When will you leave too?...

My lungs are filling with water,

liquid trying to force me to fall asleep,

trying to take away my right to breathe.

Filling

with

t t r

a e a e w

w w r a

just go ahead and take my breath away,

either give it back, give it back or take it.

Take it forever, and gu...

I didn’t have my heart broken.

No one died.

I have a safe home, food.

A loving family, friends.

So why?

What went wrong?

What led me to this?...

Start traveling

Going through time

Going through the river of expectations

Wanting to get it over with

Able to live my life

But yet

My parents want me to achieve goals

Just like my brothers

I want to be left alone some

Just let me peruse my art

Let me do anything I want

I don’t want to follow my

Brothers

I am still in middle school

But I feel I have depression

ADHD

I ask

And ask again ...