“So you’re saying this is all a con, Remy,” Jerry said, shaking the sleep from his head. “You bought me in as your CFO said you needed a trusted man in your corner. I’ve been in the dark ever since. What’s going on?” “Don’t get your panties in a bunch. Waterman Sterling Investments is financially sound or my name isn’t Regis Sterling. I just need you to do one perfectly normal favor. These things, little things, happen in big finance from time to time,” Remy said swirling the olive in his martini. “Remy Alousius Stumpley, you changed your name by deed poll after your bankruptcy in Tulsa. We have know each other since high school. Half my kinfolk are invested in this company on my say so. Now, you’re saying you need me to fly to Switzerland to send a fax and it is all perfectly normal! You’ve roped me into some kinda Ponzi, haven’t you. We’re in trouble, ain’t we? Goddammit Remy it’s four in the morning!” Remy roared and dashed his cocktail against his private jet’s floor. Calmly, his flight attendant began to make another extra dirty martini. Jerry went wide-eyed. “Stupid, I don’t care if it is half past a donkey’s ass. You will do what I say to do when I say to do it. Don’t make pull out your spine and beat you to death with it.” Always one to yell when Remy spoke quietly it was terrifying. Tangled in the sheets, Jerry scrambled out of bed. “Okay, I’m going. I’ll get dressed and book a flight Geneva on my phone. You don’t have to call me names, Rem. I just want to understand, get a feel of what is going on. That’s all.” “You know I didn’t mean anything. You’re the smartest kind of stupid. Loyalty. You’re loyal and I appreciate you Jer Bear. A few regulators want to make sure we are properly insured so a fax from that office we rented will calm everything down. My family’s invested too. You can trust me,” Remy said accepting a fresh drink and a broad smile from the flight attendant. “Now my girl has already gotten you a ticket and a driver is on his way to your condo.” “That’s nice. I see the document is already in my email. And this is all above board, right? Wait are you on the jet?” “Just smoozing a few clients over in Antiqua on the links. I’ll be back in a day or three,” Remy said tapping his fingers on his heavy briefcase. “Shake that money tree, big guy, and visit that new galpal I bet,” Jerry said. “And if you need anything else, just be straight with me and I am in your corner. Randomly, flinging clothes into his duffel bag, the accountant scuttled around his bedroom. Remy downed his martini and smiled out of the window.

I watched you fall for another girl, The girl you said “Was just a friend,” And I can sit here and say “You’re stupid,” But that wouldn’t entirely be true. You knew better but yet, she was all you wanted, you didn’t want the one who cares, who loves, you wanted the one that’d just disappear within time. I was supposed to be your forever, the one you’d call at any point of time, the one you’d die for, but instead you weren’t mine. You were the one i’d never get bored of, I could watch you paint, and would never be bored. He was the smartest kind of stupid, I can’t hide how I feel about him, but it hurt, it _really did_.

For his memory was never that stellar Remembering little things from a decade ago But not a minute ago He’s the smartest dumb person I know She’d say Or the dumbest smart person I know She could never decide For he was not unintelligent Far from it But she’d always say it Albeit as a joke Laced with a hint of worry For he was a bit young to have his memory going But we’d all laugh For what else? And carry on… For what else? When my mother said this of my father

“I can’t believe that fucking worked!” They gasped for air, adrenaline pulsing through their veins. “You are the smartest kind of stupid, Lay.” “Thanks!” She replied beaming. “But NEVER — again.” “Why,” Lay complained. “I liked it!” “Of course you did. But I am not going to hide in a garbage bin, EVER, again.” Lay snickered at them. “I have banana peel in my hair! How the hell are you not soaked in half eaten tuna, Lay!” She shrugged, “I don’t know,” she replied in her childish voice. “Now,” said June, “how are we to get up on the roof without the cops noticing and coming back?” June pondered the thought for a few seconds. “Grab that branch,” they demanded. “What do I do with this, June?” “Hold the branch steady against the brick, and I will climb. When I get to the roof, I’ll pull you up while you hang onto the stick.” June stood by the garbage bin admiring her plan for a moment; their hands were on their hips. Superhero position is what June called it. June began climbing the branch with Lay holding the base. “OUCH!!” Yelped Lay. “Your foot is in my eye!” “FINE,” June whispered back sharply, “I’ll move it. “How’s that?” Barely audible, Lay said, “Now your fucking foot is in my mouth!” “Shit—“ They came tumbling down I got he hard, grey concrete. “Owww! What the hell June! I thought—“ “Shh!” June interrupted her abruptly. It wasn’t time to wine about their shit show; even though June’s one legged cat could have pulled that off in his sleep. “Do you hear that, Lay.” “No.” “Sirens — cops.”

What I want in love Is a mind of growth Honed to the click and clacks Of misunderstandings groan What I need in love Is a heart so bright That shines and laughs And awakens the dullest dye What I hope for love Is a peace of mind The days serene and nights gettin in What it is in love Is a fight for truce Creation from rapport

As a woman I was always faced with the burden of a million things; often contradictions of each other I was told to be confident, because that was what men found attractive but humble as not to bruise a man’s ego. I was told to be pretty, because that’s where my worth lied, but not to care too much about my appearance as that made me self absorbed, and men did not like women who weren’t giving. I was told to be smart because men didn’t like there women dumb, but I couldn’t outshine men with my intelligence because my place as a women was inferior. So I did as I was conditioned. I was coy and shyly self assured. I kept my appearance effortless but desired. The only struggle I suffered was my intellect. As a child i was commemorated for my brain, but as I developed and blossomed it turned to contempt, as I instead turned to an enemy, something feared with disgust. So again I learned the game and hid my astute. I played the dumb to benefit, and did what I had to. I was told I was the smartest kind of stupid, as if it was a badge of honour to be the kind of woman a man loved.

In an embarrassing recollection of a very trying time in my life I think back to the moment in my apartment and the moment when I was so upset and angry with myself that I had walked down the hallway and hit myself on the head seven time and called myself stupid while I did it, no one else needed to call me stupid or dense though I had heard from the world plenty of times that very sentiment, I have heard from the world all the mistakes I had made, I have learned that the world will tell you exactly what you’ve done wrong and how and where you’re lacking- but I have also found out in the world there are many wonderful and amazing things to learn some of those things around the world saved my life. Philosophy and religion are a vast expanse of knowledge with deep wells to discover and many have tried to understand and in traversing it I do not think that any man or woman is able to ever comprehend what is only Gods to know. There are all kinds of smarts in the world and all kinds of intelligence but they are very different, you’re the smartest kind of stupid I think comes in to play when you have this knowledge why sentry you using it or when people bring up common sense. Common sense knowledge I think can vary- what is common to you may not be common to me. For example in Asia there are multiple ways to describe rice, whereas in America only one. And in America we have multiple ways to describe beef/pork or meat and many in cultures on that side of the world do not eat meat or pork at all. Knowledge can be good and it can also be dangerous.

My twin and I are nothing alike. And yet when he purposed the idea of running away, I instantly agreed. Aunt Jenna is only ever nice when her boyfriend comes over, and it’s a different dude each time. I guess we’re both fed up with her pretending like she’s our real aunt, or like she’s not getting paid for taking care of us, or that she doesn’t use the money for her own good. Tonight’s the night we finally do something about it. But of course, when I walk into my room, my brother is comfortably relaxing on my bed and playing catch with a rubber ball. “Are you kidding me? I told you to pack!” I thrust my sweater at him, but he doesn’t stop his game. “I don’t know what to do,” he complained. “What do runaways pack anyway?” “Don’t be so stupid! This is new to me too, you know. Anything you think you’ll need, but nothing unnecessary.” I recollect my sweater and fold it up again. “We don’t have much time. Jenna will be back soon, and we still need to-“ “She won’t,” my twin suddenly says. “What do you mean?” He stops throwing the ball and swings his legs over the side to get up. “I said she won’t be back soon. I made a deal with Jamie.” I frown. “Jamie?” “Jenna’s new boyfriend.” He grinned. “I promised not to tell her about seeing him in the mall with another blonde. We have until midnight.” He threw the ball at me and I caught it with my right hand. “Not so stupid now, am I?” I couldn’t help but smile. “You are. You’re the smartest kind of stupid. I didn’t know Jenna was over Paul.” “Way over. Paul is ancient history. Jamie is the better version now.” “And what’s the difference?” I ask. He shrugs. “He’s easier to bribe.” I nod understandingly. “Fine. Now that we got more time, let’s decide where on earth we’re headed after the bar. Milo can’t hide us forever.” “I say, we pick out new names, disguise as children of different celebrities, and buy a car to go on a global road trip.” I blink. “We’re 15. We don’t have license. And I’m not willing to spend my youth in jail even for a million dollars.” “That’s because you’re boring.” “That’s because I’m responsible.” “I bet your name tag in kindergarten read ‘Bland and Basic’.” “At least it didn’t say ‘Clown’.” He put a hand to his heart dramatically. “That hurt my feelings.” “It fully intended to.” I raised my hands. “Sorry. We don’t have time for this. Just pack your belongings and let’s go. Milo is closing his place at 9:00. We need to be there ten minutes after that so the customers leave. We’ll spend the night there, and see where we go next in the morning.” “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” “Neither can I. But it’s a good thing. We gotta stick together, that’s all.” He smiled. “Thanks. For being here. Imagine not having someone to bug.” “Imagine not having someone to bug you.” I smile back, then throw the ball back at him. “Now go pack.”

“This isn’t going to get us anywhere,” Talia says, looking at the map in her hands. Tavin smiles at her from his lounging position on the couch. “Your doing great, Tal,” he says, scrolling on his phone. Talia rolls her eyes. She just keeps thinking to her self that he’s just not participating because he could never figure out an escape room like this. “Aren’t you even going to help?” She complained, dropping the map back onto the desk. “I guess I can try,” Tavin gets up and starts to push the couch around to face her and the desk. Talia rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips. “Seriously?” She scoffs. “What, Talia? I’m trying to get a new perspective on things!” He jokes and plops back down on the couch. Talia’s eyes wander to something on the floor where Tavin had just moved the couch off of. It’s writing. Talia swiftly walks over and crouches to see what it says. “In the closet wall you’ll find me, I’m not a shoe and not a key, but I’m something you’d find in the loo.” Talia laughs at the silly words written on the ground. “God Tavin!” She cries, “You’re the smartest kind of stupid.” Tavin looks at her as she tries to hug him. “That’s not a compliment,” he says. She kissed his cheek anyway.

She was head to toe gorgeous. Her skin golden and her teeth glowing. How the hell am I on a date with someone like this? “So what will you be ordering?” the waiter says as he looks to my date. “I’ll have the tortellini.” she says at the dimly lit Italian restaurant. We’re separated by a circular table with a white cloth, but somehow I just feel so close. I scamper to look at the menu. Spaghetti? No, I don’t want to get too messy. A flatbread? That’s basically pizza. I don’t want to look childish. Risotto? Perfect. It’s not going to make me look weird, and it’s tasty. “I’ll take the risotto.” The waiter takes our menus and walks off. The girl and I have some light small talk. Where did you grow up? What do you do for work? All that kind of stuff. Not surprisingly she’s a model at a local agency. Meanwhile, I work a finance job and sit behind a desk everyday. “So you’re pretty smart then?” she says. “Here’s your tortellini, ma’am,” the waiter says as he hands her a plate of delicious looking noodles mixed with meat and spinach. “And for you, sir.” He hands me a plate of creamed rice with cheese. That can’t be what I ordered! I thought I ordered a noodle dish. “Excuse me, sir?” I say to the waiter as he just began to leave. “I think I received the wrong meal. I thought risotto was a noodle dish.” My date and the waiter look at me strange. My heart starts pounding in my chest, worried what I said was stupid. “You must be thinking of rigatoni,” said the waiter. My whole body stopped in one place realizing I made a huge mistake in front of the girl of my dreams. “You said I was smart?” I say to the girl. “Well, you’re the smartest kind of stupid,” she responds. Once the waiter leaves she starts giggling to herself while my face becomes the palest it’s ever been. I think about what she said. Smartest kind of stupid. That has a good ring to it. “I’ll have to use that line if I ever run for President. It could be my slogan,” I say as I start digging into my meal. “You have my vote!” She replies.