“I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say it now.”

Mateo’s eyes are green, with specks of brown. I never noticed that before. He continues.

“You know what, never mind sorry- this was stupid-“

“It’s not stupid.” I say. My heart beats faster. Weird. I’ve told this little fun fact about myself to random people all the time and never once has my body acted like this before.

“I have something to admit too. I can’t swim.”

Look at him being nice. I can tell he’s holding back that laugh I want to hear so much.

“What? Don’t you live on a boat?”

“Yup. Embarrassing, right?”

We turn the corner and see a community pool across the street. Kids splash water to each other, their laughter fills the air. Mateo notices and begins to smile.

“I bet you don’t have any swimming trunks in your backpack, do you?”

“Uh…no?”

“But you are wearing underwear?”

“Course-“

He grabs my hand and we fly through the street towards the pool, almost getting hit by a car on our way there.

"You only live once!" was a line everybody knew.

Whether that be in shortened form "YOLO" or the words by themselves, everybody knew it. Living scares me. I live in a world that feels like a prison cell. Sometimes I so badly want to break out if that cell. But I get a weird feeling in my chest. Was is panic? I am not sure was exactly the feeling is. My mind shifts. One second I am desperate to break through what feels like platinum prison bars - another I'm scared to leave. What about the people I am unable to speak to? How do I let them know how much I so truly love them? Or aspire to be like them? But how do I love the life that I live in when nobody can love me?
So what exactly do I do? Nothing. I stand there, watching and waiting for someone else to create a legacy for me to watch. I am unable to endure my own legacy and fame when I can barely take a step out of my bedroom, scared of what there is to be beyond these four walls. I lay down in my bed. I think and I think and I think about so many different things I cannot control.

Now, what will my legacy be? What does my future look like? Will my life continue to be that beautifully filled in painting that those who surround me create? What is beautiful to them isn't what is beautiful to me. I have many dreams that feel impossible to make a reality.

In the end, I am one of eight billion and cannot create an impact. Who will miss me when I'm gone? Will my children tell my story? Will my friends remember me? Or will I drift away like smoke?

I knew I’d regret if I didn’t say it right now.

Yet here I stand, frozen. I bite my lips staring at the message, thousand emotions coursing through my inner palace. My head creating images,images of me crying, screaming, hitting, breaking, beating and killing. Yet there I sat straight face, no tears, no trembling and reading the message.

“I love you”

I didn’t know the answer, I didn’t even know if I was able to love ever again, or even understand it again like I once did. My body felt weird, wobbly, like I was about to puke. The emotions overwhelming me. Like there was no chance of escape, not even a chance to think for a minute.

“Mh mhm”

My answer wasn’t even a no, or I’m unsure what to answer type of answer. I look at the ceiling, wanting to cry, puke, scream. No sound coming, not even a tear rising.

It’s so much I don’t even know how to express emotions or even cry, a simple tear would be enough. I need to let it out, I need someone.

Sitting on playground, smoking a cig of my mom. Oh how did I end up like this ? How could I let myself get so low, fall so deep? The phone rings, I could hear him cry on the other end. Begging me to not kill myself. I look at the sand under the construction of the playground’s climbing frame. Inhaling the smoke.

I spoke to him, knowing he was the cause of my pain, the cause of my depressions. He ruined me back then, in this so called former relationship. Yet here I was, talking to him, whilst telling him I didn’t think I could hold on any longer.

Wha an asshole I am, how can I let myself go like this. How can I tell someone about this, knowing the struggle themselves. Knowing the person on the other end, is my emotional abusive ex. He may has changed but my memories, my emotions are still defect.

Seeking comfort in such a person, how much toxin do I want to suck up ?

I’m so unstable, but he loves me. Regardless of my breakdowns, my emotions, or my coldness, despite smoking from a young age, or the way I look. He was on the other end listening.

How can’t I love him. How am I supposed to hate him ? Maybe it’s the fear, maybe it’s the terror inside me from the past.

I wish I could have loved you, I wish I could’ve told you that before I left.

Months pass. Carter and Railyn have a system. Tracy has “book club” every Friday night and Aiden goes to his friends house for “game night” every Friday. Theyre DEFINITELY together every Friday night.

But so are the other two.

~ - * - ~

Railyn sits at the counter, texting Carter. Aiden is grabbing his stuff for game night. He comes up to Railyn, his hands fighting with his lanyard.

“Uhm. Railyn?”

This kid is a nervous wreck.

“Yeah?” Rai sets her phone on the counter face down.

“I-“ he shakes his head. “Nevermind.”

Aiden opens the door to leave. “I’ll be home around 2.”

“Thats later then usual.” Railyn presses.

“We’re going to a casino an hour away.” He states shortly before shutting the door behind him.

Uhm… okay then

When Carter shows up he has a huge grin on his face. He grabs her waist, pulling her into a kiss.

“Missed you.” He laughs.

Railyn rolls her eyes. “We literally talk everyday.” She kisses him lightly.

He pulls away and hands her a blindfold.

She raises an eyebrow.

“Go grab a sweatshirt.” He rolls his eyes.

Rai grabs a dark green sweatshirt (that may or may not be Carters 🤭🤭)

He smirks. “Love the sweater. Where’d you get it?”

“Your bedroom.” She laughs, sliding the hoodie on over her T-shirt. He spins her around, tying the blindfold over her eyes.

“Carter?” She raises suspicion in her voice.

He flicks her in the head. “Don’t be a horny bastard for like 3 minutes Kay?”

Railyns jaw drops. “I would never.” She gasps dramatically.

Carter wraps his hands around her hips after he tied the blindfold, turning her to face him again. “Yes you would.” He kisses her on the neck and it sends a shiver throughout her entire body.

“Your right. I would.”

Carter leads her to the car. Purposely running her in to multiple objects. The drive isn’t too long but Rai is impatient and curious. She can hear the rain tapping the metallic roof of the car.

When she hears Carter get out of the car the rain is pouring.

He opens her door for her.

“M’lady”

“Carter it’s pouring rain.”

“And?” He yanks her out of the car, pulling her into the heavy downfall.

Railyn gasps as the cold water falls on her. “What the crap!”

He slips off her blindfold and theyre on the top of a parking garage. The parking lot their in is empty and the rain beats down on the two of them. He goes into the car and starts playing the song Slow dance in a parking lot by Jordan Davis __ __ Carter pulls her into a slow dance position. His smile glowing. His dark brown hair droops, sticking to his forehead.

Her hair clings to the wet sweatshirt from the rain.

The song plays and they twirl each other around in puddles for the full 3 minutes and 13 seconds. After that song plays, _Thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran plays. _ __ __ Carter twirls them in circles before pulling her into a hug.

“I love you.” He whispers into her shoulder.

Hot tears leak from her eyes. “I love you too.”

He pulls away, looking at her tears. “I’m going to break up with Tracy.” He says because he’s and idiot.

“What!?” Railyn pushes away because shes also an idiot.

Carter grabs her hands pulling her back to him. “Rai I want to love you. I want to love you without having to sneak around. Without going off of Aiden and Tracys schedule.”

“I want to love as much as I can.” He cups her face in his hands.

“I want to love you too.” She smiles, tears and rain running down her face.

Their lips meet as the final notes of the song play.

~ - * - ~

Aiden comes home at 2:26 AM.

26 minutes late but whos keeping track.

(Railyn. Railyn is keeping track.)

He comes through the door, dropping his crap on the floor by the door.

“Hi.”

His eyes dart to Railyn whos sitting in the couch looking like a nervous mess.

“Why are you still up?” Aiden shakes his head.

“I- I needed to talk to you.”

His eyes widen for a moment but he blinks and then acts calm again.

“What’s up?”

Railyns gonna need to for stand for this one.

“I… think we should break up.”

It startles him but he just sighs.

“I agree.”

He opens his mouth like he is going to add more but stops.

“Because you’ve been cheating on me with Tracy.”

Now that one really shocked him.

“Wait okay it- it’s not what it’s seems like!” Aiden panics searching for an excuse.

Railyn just places a silencing finger to his lips. “I know I’ll regret this if I don’t say it now but I- may or may not be seeing her boyfriend Carter.”

Aiden freezes before bursting into laughter.

Rai just stands there staring at him. Is he seriously laughing?? They were both cheating on each other. This is serious.

“Wait hold on.” He grabs his phone, calling Carter.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING????” She tries to snatch his phone but he dodges.

‘Hello?’

“Hey Carter.”

‘Can I help you?’

“This is gonna sound really funny. Do you wanna switch girlfriends?”

Theres a flurry of movement in the other side in the phone and they just hear Carter opening a door and yelling to Tracy, ‘YOUR MAN IS SINGLE AND SO ARE YOU HUN. YOU BEST BE PACKING YOU BAGS.’

Rai snorts and Aiden just looks at the phone very concerned.

‘Yea that would be great. Come pick Tracy up in the morning and drop Railyn off with me’

“Alright sounds good. Cya.”

Aiden hangs up the phone and laughs. He laughs for a long time. Rolling on the floor.

I glare at him. “It’s funny how to two of you are swapping girlfriends like one might swap a jacket.”

Aiden just shrugs. “If you wait to break up for too long it just isn’t important after a while.”

He stands up. “You for real need to pack up ur stuff though. Your moving in the morning.”

Rai scoffs, walking down the hall.

“Please.”

“I’ve had my bags packed for a month.” She smirks.

~ - * - ~

Notes:

That one was special. I’m fr not sure how to break up with someone because I’ve never even held someone’s hand romantically so that’s what you get from me. Yes I’m aware that thats not how breakups work. Thank you JATG for pointing that out 🙄😂

Let’s be real. Aiden’s a hoe.

If you want a part three I’m not sure where I would go with this. Maybe like a time skip for a few months or a year ish later. I’m only gonna write more with these characters upon request though.

Shout out to 43.1939° N, 71.5724° W

Thanks for reading!! :D

The smell of gingerbread still hung in the air when I woke up, sweet and faintly spicy, like a memory that had stuck around overnight. I’d baked way too much last night, but that’s kind of my thing—baking. Weird for a guy, I know, but it just feels like home. Anyway, the smell hit me, and then it hit me what day it was: Christmas Eve.

And Bryn.

Bryn hates Christmas. Like, hates it. No lights, no gifts, no Mariah Carey blasting in the background. Just her, in her apartment, punching the life out of her poor punching bag like the Grinch on a caffeine kick. I’ve known her for a while now, but she’s never explained why. She just shuts down this time of year, and every year, I try to pull her out of it.

I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and started typing:

_Hey. I know Christmas isn’t your thing, but I made some gingerbread and got a few games. You down for some friendly competition?_

I stared at the screen for a second. I wasn’t expecting much. Bryn wasn’t exactly easy to convince, especially when it came to anything involving holiday cheer. But whatever. I hit send.

Then, because I hate waiting, I threw on my coat, boots, and hat and decided to walk over to her place. It was snowing, the kind of fluffy snow that crunches under your boots in a way that’s weirdly satisfying. The bakery on the corner smelled like heaven, and I caught myself smiling like some kind of Hallmark movie lead.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, snapping me out of it.

_Dude. You’re insane. Fine. If I come over, will you finally quit bugging me about it?_

__

I laughed.

_You’ve got a deal._

_Lucky for you, work actually gave me Christmas off this year._

_Perfect. See you at 6:00?_

_Fine. But I’m not wearing anything festive._

I grinned as I pocketed my phone. She was going to come over. That was a win in my book.

Fast-forward to later, and I’m in the mall, dodging Christmas shoppers who look like they’re competing in some kind of Olympic sprint. I wasn’t here for much—just something small for Bryn. Even though she didn’t do Christmas, I wanted her to feel like she mattered.

I wandered around until I found it: a pair of red pajamas with little green mugs of hot cocoa and candy canes all over them. They screamed cozy—which was funny, because Bryn would never admit to liking anything remotely cozy. Still, I knew she’d secretly love them.

And then I saw it: an espresso machine. She’d been eyeing one for months, ever since she got hooked on lattes from our favorite coffee shop. It was expensive, but I couldn’t resist.

By the time I got home, I was broke, but I had a grin on my face as I wrapped the espresso machine and stuffed the pajamas into a festive bag.

At exactly 6:00, the doorbell rang.

I opened it to find Bryn standing there in her puffy jacket, her black hair loose around her shoulders. She looked awkward, like she wasn’t sure if she should be there.

“Hey,” I said, stepping aside. “You wanna come in? It’s freezing out there.”

She walked in taking off her coat and handed it to me. Her sweater was simple—gray and kind of oversized—and she was wearing those beat-up sneakers she always refused to replace.

She stopped in the middle of the room, her eyes scanning everything: the tree with its warm white lights, the stockings over the fireplace, the snowman pillows on the couch. I’d gone all out this year, hoping she’d feel a little less… Grinch-y.

“This is… a lot,” she said finally.

I raised an eyebrow. “Good a lot or bad a lot?”

She hesitated, then shrugged. “Good. I think.”

I laughed and handed her a mug of cocoa. “Here you go. It’ll help you warm up some.”

She smiled warmly. “Thank you.”

An hour later, she was sitting cross-legged on the floor, icing all over her hands and shirt, glaring at her gingerbread house like it had personally insulted her.

“This is rigged,” she muttered, squeezing the bag of frosting way too hard.

“How is it rigged?” I asked, trying not to laugh.

“You’re a baker, Sage. This is basically your sport. You should be disqualified.”

I leaned back against the couch, smirking. “It’s not my fault you can’t figure out how to use icing without turning it into a crime scene.”

She glared at me, then pointed the frosting bag at my face. “One more word, and I’m aiming this at you.”

I held my hands up in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. Focus on your masterpiece, Picasso.”

She rolled her eyes but didn’t argue.

By the time we finished, the table was a mess, her shirt was officially ruined, and neither of our houses looked like they’d survive a light breeze.

“Let’s call it a draw,” I said, surveying the wreckage.

“Fine. But only because I’m tired,” she replied, flopping onto the couch.

After cleaning up, I grabbed the gift bag from under the tree and handed it to her.

“What’s this?” she asked, her brows furrowing.

“Just open it.”

She pulled out the pajamas first, holding them up and squinting at the pattern. For a second, I thought she was going to throw them at me.

Then she screamed.

“They’re so stupidly cute!” she said, jumping up. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

“Go put them on,” I said, grinning.

She came back a few minutes later, wearing the pajamas and looking way too good in them. Her pale skin made the red pop, and the goofy pattern made her seem… softer. Less guarded.

“These are perfect,” she said, doing a little twirl.

“You’re welcome.”

She flopped back onto the couch, dangling her legs over the arm rest. For a moment, it was quiet, just the crackle of the fire filling the space. Then she spoke.

“I didn’t always hate Christmas,” she said softly.

I turned to her, surprised. “No?”

She shook her head, her gaze fixed on the tree. “When I was a kid, it was my favorite.” She smiled with the lights reflecting in her eyes. “My dad didn’t have much, but he made it feel special. We’d bake cookies, watch movies—he even managed to get me presents, even though we couldn’t afford much.”

Her voice cracked, and she took a deep breath. “Then he died on Christmas. I was only ten. And after that… I don’t know. It just stopped feeling like Christmas, you know? My mom left long before he died, so it was just me and him. Then it was just me. Ignoring it just felt easier.”

I didn’t know what to say. I truly hurt for her as she opened up about it.

“I’m sorry, Bryn,” I said finally.

She shrugged, trying to play it off, but I could see her wiping at her eyes. “It’s fine. I didn’t mean to dump all that on you, I’m sorry. I do tend to be good at ruining things.”

“Hey.” I reached over, putting a hand on hers. “You didn’t ruin anything. And for what it’s worth, you’re not alone anymore.”

She looked up at me, her brown eyes wide and vulnerable.

“I mean it,” I said. “I know I can’t replace your dad, but I’m here. Always. I love you, I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say it now. And it’s okay if you don’t I just.. needed you to know.”

Her gaze flickered between my eyes, like she was searching for something. Then, out of nowhere, she grabbed the front of my shirt and kissed me.

It was soft at first, hesitant. But then it deepened, and all I could think was how long I’d wanted this.

When we finally pulled apart, she was smiling—a real, genuine smile that made her look like a different person.

“Okay,” she said, her voice teasing. “Maybe Christmas isn’t so bad after all. I think I might actually celebrate it again.”

I grinned. “Only if you spend it with me.”

She laughed a bit. “Deal.”

We spent the rest of the night watching movies on the couch, her head resting on my shoulder as the snow fell outside. She fell asleep halfway into the second movie. And for the first time in years, Christmas felt like magic—not just for me, but for her, too.

I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say it right now.

“I love you, James!” I screamed, sobbing by at the sound of his bones crinkling. I tried to move, but I got pulled by the guards. I cried a river for him that night. The sight of him being unconscious made me itch. I twisted my self in the pitter-pattered sheets. I rethinked about the horrific scene every day for the new month.

————-//time skip to idk months later//—————

He lied still in the coffin, eyes shut, closed mouth, and his finely combed hair. I prayed for him, wishing he was listenting. Everyone had eyes looking at their feet, wishing not to be there. I walked back sadly to the front row and took my spot. I shut my eyes too. The feelings crawled around me as they did that same day years ago.

As I approached Asheres room I threw the door open, not bothering to knock “Ash?” I called out, walking in and closing the door behind me.

“Did anyone ever teach you manners?” He said coming out of his bathroom, stopping short when he saw me. His hair was wet and all he was wearing was a towel tightly wrapped around his waist, he was breathtaking. “Oh it's only you, I should've known,” he smirked.

“I have to hurt you.” i said “It's the only way to get you out of this mission.” My hands started shaking, I've never felt like this before. 

His smirk turned into a concerned frown. “What are you talking about?” he asked, walking to stand in front of me. “I have to go, i'll be fine don't worry.”

“No, you don't get it Ash i can't let you go it’s suicide mission.” I walked further into the room, putting space between us.

He turned around to face me “What is this about?” he asked, confusion evident on his face.

I don't want you to die. I love you so much it scares me and I can't lose you.

“I just think they'll be better off.” Asher and I both knew I was lying. Ash has always been one of the strongest in our class, under Florian and myself he was 3rd ranked. 

“You're lying to me now, huh?” he squinted his eyes accusingly. Ash has always had a way at knowing when I'm lying, even when it isn't obvious. “It's okay to admit you're jealous.” he smirked.

“Im serious Asher you cant go, i cant let you.” my panic was rising, i knew there was nothing I could say to get him to back down. silence filled the room for a few moments.

“What’s this really about Declan?” He came to stand only a few inches away from me. He was obviously worried.

My mouth opened and closed a few times, I really was trying to talk. I wanted to tell him why I was so panicked. “I can’t tell you.” my voice came out as a whisper as I lowerd my head to look at the ground.

He let out a defeated breath “I thought you’d say that.” he walked back towards the bathroom“I’ll see you when I get back alder.”

I stood frozen. My mind was at war with itself. _It’s only a few words why can’t you just say it? _ __

I took a deep breath. I didn’t have anything to loose, except Asher. “I love you” I finally looked up to see Ash frozen in place.

“What?” His back was still facing me and his breathing had sped up.

“I’m in love with you Ash” I let out a shaky breath as he turned to face me, I couldn’t quite read his facial expressions so I kept going. “I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. You and your stupid, perfect red hair,” I chuckled “ It’s always been you.”

”why are you telling me this now?” his voice came out as a quite whisper.

“Because i had to.” A tear ran down my face. When did I start crying? “I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say it now. If you don’t come back I won’t have anyone, you’re the only person here I love.”

I barely got to finish my sentence before Asher was frantically crossing to room to get to me, but when he did it was like the world no longer existed. His hands flew up to my face as he kissed me with more passion than I’d ever imagined. And I had imagined this moment thousands of times.

It was messy and desperate. The way his mouth moved on mine like we were running out of time, because we were. We always were. We clung to each other like our lives depended on it. Eventually when we had to pull away for air he held me close.

“I love you so much” he wispered. Kissing me again, slower this time and much shorter. That was when I knew I was a doomed. Asher hale would be the death of me.

Ok so this is a small part of a book I’ve been working on. Obviously I tweaked it to fit the prompt but I’m absolutely obsessed with Asher and Declan like it’s unhealthy. Tips are much appreciated, I’m a newer writer so I still haven’t found my style🙏🏻

-Lex🩵

“ Keep going until its fully sealed.” Fiona glanced at me as I made my crochet stitching’s, finally close to closing the circular blob up. “ Hey, you’re almost there.” She grinned again, “ It just looks goofy.” I couldnt hold back my laughter as she commented, yet.. I felt some sense of belonging in some time. A common ground of understanding with my best friend. She wont be seeing this. “ Do tha last stitch, Alexandra-“ yet I just couldnt. That last stitch meant my time with her help would be done. Over. Gone. Diminished. Eradicated. I didnt want to go back to that empty feeling. That lost feeling. That rush of loneliness that slams into me like a brick wall. I couldnt let her know that, because her smile alone was infectious for the mood I had come in with. “ Make the last stitch , what are you waiting for?” She asked again. I moved my arm away, pretending I had messed up. I didnt want to regret telling her how empty I was. How alone I was. I just wanted her to be my bestfriend for a minute, to laugh with me, even though I wasnt laughing.

I knew i’d regret it if I didnt say this right now Fiona, but im so scared of change.

• Alexandra

In the heart of a bustling city, Christmas was more than just a holiday; it was a season of confessions, of moments seized and connections made. For Emma, however, it had always been a time of silent longing. She worked at a small, cozy coffee shop that stood on the corner of Main and Maple, its windows adorned with twinkling lights and hand-painted snowflakes. Emma was a barista, and each day she watched the city’s rush hour unfold from behind the counter, serving lattes and smiles with practiced ease. But there was one customer who always made her heart skip a beat: Jake, the charming writer who spent hours tucked away in a corner, typing furiously on his laptop.

Jake was everything Emma admired—talented, kind, and genuinely good-hearted. Every day, he would order the same drink, a peppermint mocha, and they would exchange brief, pleasant conversations. Yet, Emma yearned to say more, to tell him how much she admired his work and how he brightened her days.

As the days grew shorter and the holiday spirit filled the air, Emma decided she couldn’t let another Christmas pass without letting Jake know how she felt. She crafted a plan: a simple, heartfelt note slipped into his cup on Christmas Eve.

The café was abuzz with festive cheer as Emma carefully penned her message, pouring her heart into every word. She placed the note into Jake’s usual cup and waited for him to arrive. The door jingled, and there he was, bundled in a scarf, his eyes twinkling with the reflection of the café's lights.

Jake ordered his peppermint mocha, and Emma’s hands trembled slightly as she prepared it. She handed him the cup, their fingers briefly touching, and watched as he made his way to his usual spot. Her heart pounded with anticipation, but as the minutes ticked by, he didn’t open the cup.

As the evening wore on, Emma’s anxiety grew. What if he never read the note? What if it got lost? Her mind raced with doubts. Unable to bear it any longer, she took a deep breath and approached Jake.

“Hey, Jake,” she said, her voice wavering slightly. “I wanted to give you something.” Jake looked up, surprised. “Sure, Emma. What is it?” She handed him a small, wrapped gift. “It’s just a little something to say thank you for being such a wonderful customer. And friend.”

Jake smiled warmly, taking the gift. “Thank you, Emma. That’s really thoughtful.”

As he unwrapped the gift, Emma’s note fell out, fluttering to the table. Jake picked it up, his eyes scanning the words. Emma held her breath, her heart pounding louder than the festive music playing in the background.

When he finished reading, Jake looked up, his expression softening. “Emma, I had no idea you felt this way.”

Emma blushed, her courage almost faltering. “I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time. I just... didn’t know how.”

Jake reached across the table and took her hand. “I’m so glad you did. You’ve brightened my days too, more than you know.”

In that moment, amidst the laughter and joy of the holiday season, Emma felt a warmth that had nothing to do with the coffee. It was the warmth of new beginnings, of words spoken and hearts unburdened.

As they sat together, sharing stories and dreams, Emma realized that sometimes the greatest gift of all was the courage to speak from the heart. And as the snow gently fell outside, she knew this Christmas would be one she’d never forget.

I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t say it right there. I was contemplating for awhile If that was the right choice, Would I be happy? Is this the right thing to do? Am I going to be known as the girl who broke his heart into a million pieces because she “doesn’t” have an ounce of sympathy in her?

I would remember the happy moments The times we spent together laughing & talking It’s like whenever something bad would happen it would disappear from my mind and the happy memories took over It took me time I searched my doubts Was this the right decision for me?

I came to the conclusion, If I don’t do it right now, I’m going to regret it.

For a few moments, I was filled of regret after saying those words to him. I didn’t want to hurt him But it was too late. I thought about telling him I didn’t mean it

It took strength to get through I struggled, Having my thoughts scrambled But in the hard moments, I thought about the people I love How much better my relationships with them would be I thought if I ended it with him, I would get my best friend back.

I almost lost her because of him It was my fault I wanted to spend time with him But with her as well I was stressed trying to balance those times But I felt if I tried to explain, it wouldn’t make sense.

I was filled with guilt Crying because I wanted my best friend back I was way closer to losing her than I’d like to admit. I wish I could tell her I really am full of sorrow I wish it could be back to what it was before him If I told her now, How much I regret it I don’t think she would understand.

I feel like I’m the worst friend ever I try to be a good friend But I don’t think it’s working I try to put in the effort But it is enough? Am I enough?