(written like a song, inspired by BagelRat’s writing, “Skinny.”)

Teacher says, “partner up.”

I look, and there’s four of us,

all friends with each other.

She said, “only one group of three.”

And yet,

somehow,

some way,

you decided to be that.

you decided to be without me.

without me,

what did I do, did I scream at you?

did I beat you until you cried?

did I stomp on your shoes?

did I ever lie?

did I ever tell you

all of your flaws?

did I ever rehash all of your trauma?

did I make a joke so insensitive,

and then say “I only kid”?

As far as I know, I didn’t,

but

you

did.

Teacher says, “partner up.

Groups of five, at max.”

For the second time,

maybe even more,

I’m the plus one-

the out of luck-

Teacher says, “partner up.”

And all I’m thinking is,

This wasn’t the first

and it won’t be the last,

seems everyone’s leaving,

everyone’s hating.

“Groups of five, at max.”

And somehow,

Some way,

There was four of us,

now there’s six of us-

and I thought we were best friends,

but I guess nobody is.

[hurriedly, near rap, but still singing]

Now I’m sitting in my room,

and I remember everything.

It’s blurry, a line you made

my mind make,

you once helped me

through panic attacks,

but now you’re causing

me to crumble, shake-

And I’m losing my head,

because you couldn’t

woman up and tell me.

If you didn’t want to be,

you didn’t have to be.

Don’t ghost me, just tell me.

Actions are louder than words,

and yours pinch like a critical hit.

You break me, shatter me,

but the pieces of me don’t help you.

You broke me in your actions,

I don’t eat. I don’t sleep.

I only ever think about what I did wrong.

Can’t you ever take the hint?

Tell me, how the hell was this worth it?

Did I stomp on your shoes,

shatter your glasses?

Did I compliment you,

then snicker behind your back?

Did I beat you until you cried?

Did I laugh at you,

burn holes through you,

with my eyes?

Did I ever lie?

Did I ever rehash all your trauma,

Did I ever make you cry?

Did I make a joke so insensitive,

and then say, “I only kid”?

As far as I know, I didn’t.

but

you

did.

[fading] Was it ever really worth it? (Echo: worth it, worth it?)