your gum wrapper hearts
the necklace you gave me
all of this i still have
except for you
i gaze upon these items
and i hate myself for loving them so
for i don't love you
but i miss you
one thing i learned
if i can say i learned anything at all
is that it is okay to miss someone
and not want them back in your life
that is how you are to me
i miss having you
and i miss you having me
but i d...
after this loop continues
day after day
eventually you will get sick of it
get sick of yourself
and then you will try to convince yourself you're okay
be it for other people
be it for yourself
but you know you arent okay
you sit
alone
all the time
and you wait
you know nothing will happen
and then you realize
you understand
that you need help....
01 - 01 - 1997
every day seems to go by just the exact same. nothing seems to change, and its always just as slow as before.
i will wake up, i will (not) eat, and i will just wait. i will. be so lonely.
i know people love me, and i love everyone too. but sometimes, i truly believe i am the loneliest person in the world.
01 - 13 - 1997
sometimes, i will get really angry. and i will want to c...
"okay! what do you think?" the hairdresser turns the chair around, beaming at her client through the mirror. "do you like it?"
the clients face twists in disgust, the once joyful face of this young man turning sour, angry.
"well my god! its dreadful!"
the hairdresser doesnt understand. its what the man had asked for.. yet, he isnt satisfied. they rarely are, are they? humans in general too.
"we...
dear nate,
i havent seen you in awhile, and i know we haven't spoke.
i wanted to say im sorry, for everything.
and i hope you can forgive me. i will be back in town soon, and i think it would be good for us to sit down and talk.
a lot has happened since i last saw you, and i have changed as a person. maybe we can make it work this time.
im waiting for you, when you want me.
- yours truly, jaco...
i wish i had a mom. not like the one i have. the one i have is flawed, shes broken. but there is no return policy for broken humans. shes never been there for me, i am just a maid for her. i get her things. i clean for her.
"she loves you"
"she cares about you"
"she wants you to be happy"
i dont feel this love. i dont see how she could care about me. i dont know if she knows what happy is.
she i...
i never wanted you gone
i couldnt help it
i had to get away from you
but i regret it
i sit here and i wonder
how things couldve been
if i stayed
if i believed i deserved you
i want you
i want you more than anything
i want something i cant have anymore
and thats why im sad
im sad that i know its over
you wont be waiting anymore
because youre done
because i dont love you anymore
and maybe thi...
you wake up
you expect this day to be different
nothing changes
and everything is the same
you drink your coffee
you read
but youre not happy
you don't feel fulfilled
nobody talks to you
nobody texts you
you are alone
you dont want to be
but you have to learn how to deal with it
it wont change
you have to learn
how to live alone...
