If only I was content with life And everything was painless I am so focused on the knife My body is starting to feel weightless

I look down at what I have done Blood covering my shaking hands The life inside me is close to none I don’t think anyone will understand

I have now committed a crime But there will be no punishment for me I will be gone in a short amount of time Slowly my spirit is being set free

Disclaimer: I have tried rhyming before but it’s definitely out of my comfort zone

I love the attention The people keep supplying I want perfection So I keep satisfying I crave affection To prove I’m worth loving I need validation It’s so electrifying

I admire my obsession After all this I keep trying I feel an obligation The pressure I keep applying I expect an explanation To why I’m complying I drain my motivation For which is dying

I’m never satisfied with the number on the scale Although doing something about it made me feel so frail I became addicted to skipping every meal This caused an everlasting hunger for me to feel Always turning up the heat so I could defrost These symptoms make me ask about the true cost My body has disgusted me for so long The individual details look so wrong Although my brain can’t fathom getting out of this routine I want the ability for hope to be seen Gaining help has changed that terrible view And now the sky had never looked so blue

I trusted you to change You told me you wouldn’t make me feel so strange You said you loved me After all you’ve done I thought that was key You have no remorse The personality you have is so coarse You think you have no change to go through A man who wont do things that don’t benefit you It’s how you survive It’s how your ego thrives All I wanted was a little tweak Not for you to make me feel more weak But naive me forgot Leopards never change their spots

“I thought you would get mad”

That was it I finally saw what I did My friends The people I considered family Didn’t even tell me the truth

I cant blame them though I was the one that should be blamed My entire personality built upon being kind Just for the people I love most to lie Because I had changed for the worst

I had hurt people I had hurt people I had hurt people I HAD HURT PEOPLE My brain won’t stop screaming

I broke trust I was naive when doing it And then thought I was the victim all along I was never the victim I was only ever the enemy to me and everyone else

The universe now took its toll on me I always had to be the generous one I learned the hard way to never focus on myself I will never do it again This guilt may be enough to kill me

Everyday I go to the library And everyday I hear her Rambling and rolling her eyes Typing and deleting everyday

She’s typing book Constantly asking herself for better words Complaining about the grammar corrections she always ends up ignoring But the computer screen always ends up empty everyday

She is so ignorant making her own suffering I want to help her I always know a better word I listen to her and wish she would listen to the corrections

But every I come back again To listen and wait for her to finally do something for herself Maybe I should help But something is holding me back so torturing me with patience

Disclaimer: I have a lot of a emotion but don’t know how to express it so I’m trying poetry.

My brain can never focus on things that are really true, constantly blank and empty with only the unkind thoughts shining through.

I’m never able to show the awareness of my physical being, I just need to express all the emotion that I believe in.

My face portrays such a blank message that the world knows is empty, all the feelings are hiding but will never leave.

But with you comes my attention that is not wild. But with you comes thoughts that are kinder. But with you comes my the ability to brightly shine. But with you comes my smile.