To self destruct or to grow

Conflicted

Lost

Stuck

I don’t even know no more

Eyes

Self esteem

Feelings

All low

been high for months

Been numb for months

Maybe why I’m in a slump

But without the drugs I don’t feel much

I mean shit just last year I was on deaths door

By my own hands only survived by luck

Ungrateful or grateful shit you take a guess

Sober again already tryna escape ...

Its dark in here

I’m sinking yet i feel no fear

I’m burning i can feel my rage is near

Vision blurred by crystal clear tears

Flooding my face each one hurts

As they attempt they’re escape

I’m tired I’m running off of nothing

Chaos is corrupting my mind

I’m numb beyond understanding

More drugs falling under my consumption

But why? to feel or not to feel? I’m not computing the question

Re...

You’re really my heart

I pray to god it don’t get torn apart

I call you my everything

Cuz I’m obsessed

You know you’re my remedy

When I’m upset

I got bad codependency

And I know it’s unhealthy

And baby I’m sorry it’s true

Without your attention or presence I start feeling blue

You’re always on my mind

that’s why I’m stuck writing rhymes

all bout you

I’m scared to get attached

but wh...

The birds crow a weeping melody, trees clean of leaves

I know it might feel hard to I don’t know

but just breathe in real slow

Exhale out the pain as the wind blows

lèche-vitrine

I’ll always be watching you as though I’m shopping from the window

And I know I’m wrong

But I hope that’ll ease the actions I’ve done

I know I’m gone and I’m the reason for your tears mom

I wish I showed you I love...

I want to feel, I want to know.

I want to love, I want to grow

I want honesty, I wanna know if you can keep it real at all times possibly.

I want trust, I want an unbreakable bond ride or die loyalty.

I want to learn to love, I wanna be attached safely

I want to lose my codependency, I want to stop getting hooked to my emotions like drugs

But without em I feel empty

Fuck it

It is what it...

Yea I’m trapped

don’t know long I’ll last

wrapped up in these chains that are controlling my brain

and keeping me behind bars mentally

Cuz I’m tired of dealing with these mental illusions

it’s driving me to delusion

I would ask for help but I feel more comfortable in seclusion

seems like I’ll never escape that’s my conclusion

cuz see I’m more vocal in these rhymes I write

when I should be mor...

Feel so misunderstood

But I ain’t changing my ways

Even if it’s for the better

And yes I know I’m hard headed it’s just one of my many problems

But thanks to this stubbornness

It’s so easy to chase my goals

Cuz I’m not seeking validation from opinions that won’t change my position

I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference

And that’s the reason why they hate me ...

Ever since we’ve met I’ve felt like I’ve had this invisible attraction

Life without you was nothing but pain but that was past tense

Than you came in and loved it all away I still question how it happened

My heart races at the thought of your warm embrace

You made me cry tears of joy for the first time in my life just yesterday

I enjoy every conversation we have I look forward to every word yo...

Think I’ve lost myself

It’s way too late

I’ve dived in to the deep end can’t be helped or saved

Can’t even stare at my reflection it’s too grotesque even I’m amazed

I can’t differentiate between the demons in my head and myself it seems we’re the same

Who am I they ask I’m still searching for the answer hope I can get back to you someday

I’ve been consuming these drugs to help be elusive fro...

Never knew of a love that could last this long

Met you when we were still young

You found me when I was drowning and you were also in a bad slump

Told me people tend to find each other in their darkest days

Maybe you could’ve called it fate

Yet I never imagined that you’d stay

But here we are lying in the hands of death

I called you my lover

My eternal partner

With my dying breath

Your e...