Lydia was so cute. The way she laughed at everything, her radiant happiness and carefree attitude filling the room with positive vibes. Besides she was just crazy beautiful. Silas felt his stress, anxiety, and tension leave him every time he was with her. But what did he talk about with her? His work, his hobbies, his life, stories from his past… anything but his feelings. All she did was clean the office, but her bright personality left an impression that was impossible to shake. Today she came in, and when he apologized about the overflowing trash can she just laughed. Lydia laughed at everything. As she tidied the place, he made a joke with his coworker and he heard her chuckling. He had known for a long time that he only told jokes to overhear that quiet chuckle. She had become important to him. Too important. He cleared his throat and settled down to focus his mind on only his work. He was good at his work. He was the best. That used to be all that it took to make him happy. He always strove to be the best. If he did something, he was the best at it. He never settled for mediocre. That was what brought him happiness… or did it? There had always been a vacancy, an emptiness that he strove to fill with some new hobby, some new job that he could refine until he was the best at that too, an endless cycle… that did not complete him. Suddenly he was aware that Lydia was right behind him. He turned and looked up. She looked down at him, her cute puppy-dog eyes looking slightly troubled. A new look for her. “What’s bothering you?” She asked. Innocent question. Who would fault her for that? But he felt himself bristling. “Nothing!” He almost exclaimed. She stayed there, her eyes still troubled. “There’s something wrong, I can tell,” she said. “Why don’t you get it off your chest, I’m a good human for that.” Her smile flashed. He felt his insides lurch. It was a delicious but painful feeling because he instantly repressed them every time. “You know, you never talk about how you feel,” she said, musingly, “And I think I’ve known you long enough to be nosy about that department.” That smile. “There’s a reason I never talk about how I feel. I’ve given my heart away 6 times. Every time it made me weak, vulnerable. Then they could hurt me. And they did. Every time. That’s why I never talk about how I feel. And if I did, I wouldn’t talk to you! You mean nothing to me! Nothing! I have a life. Full of people I love and care about. You mean absolutely nothing to me!” Her face revealed a little hurt which cut him, but she responded, calmly, “That’s fine! If that’s the case, good! I mean, it’s ok.” She smiled and began to walk away. He felt panic rise. “You know, I hate you! I’ve never liked you, and I hate you! I hate your attitude and I hate the way you walk and I hate having you in the same room with me! I wish you didn’t work here! You mean nothing! Absolutely nothing! To me.” She looked slight paler but remained calm. With a gentle smile, she left the room. His head fell on the desk and real sobs, dry ones, wrenched his chest. A moment later, she softly returned. His head remained down for a few seconds before he looked up and said, huskily and jerkily, “I don’t hate you.” “I know.” The curve of her lips formed a familiar smile. But now it was his.

Dear Amy, I want you to know that I don’t have a crush on you. The flowers were to make you feel better since your sick. Sorry I’m not real good at writing. I had people say things and so I thought I should explain. Nick

Dear Nick, I loved the flowers. There is no need to explain anything. Let people talk. I know you’re just a kind person who cares about everyone. Thanks again, Sincerely, Amy

Dear Nick, Thanks for buying me coffee. I needed that especially, yesterday. You don’t know how much a kind action like that means. Sincerely, Amy

Dear Amy, I’m glad you liked the coffee. I thought you looked tired. Nick

Dear Amy, How are you doing emotionally? I thought there was something worse than just your sprained ankle bothering you. Nick

Dear Nick, Only the kindest hearts notice those things. And only the wisest ask about them. So many people ask me how I’m doing physically but so few ask how I’m doing emotionally. You were right. I’m not doing the best in that department. It’s just…. I feel a little embarrassed telling you. It’s so many things. My sister is happily married with two kids. I want that. And yesterday she had just been showing me pictures of their new house. It hit me hard. And Stan keeps showing obvious preference for Janessa and they both snub me. You know I’ve had a crush on him for ages. But I’m getting a little tired of how he treats me. It’s just so hard, Nick! I’m so depressed… Just Amy

Dear Amy, I’m sorry your not doing too good. I’m sorry Stan treats you that way. Some day he will see what a treasure he is pushing away. Nick

Dear Nick, Thanks for being a friend. No one else even offered to stay back from the party with me since I couldn’t go. You are one in a million. Amy

Dear Nick, I almost missed the card in the flowers. When I read it, I reread and read it again! Did you really mean it??? Is it really true?? Is it possible that you….. really love me? Surprised and happy, Amy

Dear Amy, I meant it every word. But you are so superior to me I thought I would never deserve you. I’ve always thought you were a precious, beautiful Angel and I’m just a scummy old human. I never thought to love you until… it just happened. I kept wanting to see your sweet smile every day. I love you. I mean it. Nick

Dear Nick, You are too good to be true. I never thought of you in terms of love. I’ve been so infatuated with Stan that my head has been in the clouds and I missed what was right in front of me. You are the best and dearest man I know. You are my ideal in every way. I admire and look up too and respect you more than anyone else. You know that! I always go to you for help, comfort, or advice! I would never in a million years have gone to Stan! I love you more than words can express! Your Amy

I put the letters away. The tears were wet on my face. No wonder my parents were so happy and in love. Then I pulled out a pen and paper, I had a letter to write.

“I wanna build a treehouse, mommy” I wish I were that child I wish a were still pretending to live A life that was untamed and wild I wish I still pretended That I had kids of my own I wish I still pretended to have A house in a tree for a home I wish that cooking was magic That laundry appeared in my drawer I wish that I could go camping In blanket tents on the living room floor. I wish that living life was still my dream Oh how I longed for it as a kid, To do the things that grownups do Was still just a game in my head.

What if I stopped to consider That life is still a magical thing That I have a parent in heaven Watching over and caring for me Food appears on my table The bills are always paid Spring comes around after winter Night returns after day I’m still just a child Because I didn’t put me here I’m not really in charge So I’m gonna face life without fear And enjoy my house on a planet As much as my son Enjoys his house in the tree. For neither of us need to worry about what life will bring. For we’re both just kids. To the Great Deity.

All the doors were closed and locked And the key was thrown away I felt my life was completely stopped And I couldn’t find my way. And then I saw a ray of light Burst into my prison cell Sure the doors are all shut tight But there’s a window there as well. I can catch a glimpse of the clear blue sky And feel the sun on my nose For wherever there’s doors that cannot be pried There’s ever a window that cannot be closed.

I’m so glad to be alive in a world Where wildflowers glow in gentle hues From the sun’s golden rays At the close of the day, Where leaves fall softly And the wind whispers of winter Of coming chilly weather Crackling fires Snowflakes Jingling sleigh bells. Right now the world is in its sparse days The bare days of fall I spin around in the field My umbrella aloft Because this is my favorite time of year. I love the apple cider The pumpkin spice The feeling of being glad the hot summer’s over And welcoming the cozy winter. I can dance, because I have nothing to fear. I am carefree because I know That no matter the season now The next one will come because it always has And it always will. Having lived through 80 seasons, I know that no matter how dismal the fall may be Spring never fails to come again. I can embrace each season Appreciating each one’s unique charm Because I know that it’s just a season And since it will pass, it will cause me no harm. The hand that makes the seasons never fail Makes my heart leap And my soul sing And my feet dance with freedom Because I’m not in charge And this season has its thunder It’s rain (that’s why the umbrella) But it’s just a season And along with it’s pain I can enjoy the simple things Each season brings.

I lived to please other people And found my life in tatters I thought that loving self Was all that really matters

So I worked on living for myself Day after day Putting my needs first and caring for my mental health In every way

I told myself I loved me, And then I felt I could cry I felt so bare and empty And I didn’t know why

Then the world ended And when the noise died down I discovered that I was alive With no one else around

My life that heretofore was for myself Didn’t matter anymore For every effort I had spent Had no purpose in this new world.

When I said that all I need is me I knew that I had lied Because I know now I need other people After all of them have died.

Pleasing other people is really living for myself Which is why I found it bad True life is found in loving others I didn’t know what I had.

Not the prompt, but I wanted to share. ❤️‍🩹

Nobody cares The world out there Is busy

Moving on They don’t seem to notice That time has stopped For me.

A quick word, “I’m sorry.” And then they go back To their typical chat Dental visits, the weather, Work, school, whatever.

And then you came You stood beside me Through the pain Your arm around me You stayed until I was whole again

Loving words I wouldn’t have heard You were there That’s all I care.

You didn’t do anything But I want to thank you For nothing that you did But that time stopped for you, too.

The storm raged I saw your place The rain soaked me Your light beckoned me Clothes clinging Doorbell ringing You showed in the window

The door stayed closed I almost froze You didn’t care That I was there I’d make a mess In your nice house So I was left outside.

Too much risk to let love start I want to enter your heart But there’s a possibility of pain So I stay out, in the rain. I’ll feel the pain and try to be tough That I was somehow not enough For you to open the door And risk hurting for.

“I’m sorry, mom, but I hate him.” Mom didn’t frown like I expected. She sighed and sat down next to my bed and leaned her head into her arm as of lost in thought for a moment. I decided to continue. “You know we’ve never had a brother relationship. I don’t know why. He’s just always so cool to me. Like, I can do things to make him happy and he acts like he doesn’t care. He’s so mechanical. Like he doesn’t have feelings. He does, I know, because I’ve seen him. Hundreds of times. And I know I have no reason to believe he doesn’t love me. But he’s always so perfect. He gets everything right in school. Like everything. And he’s stronger and tougher than me, and can do anything I can do but better. And sometimes it creeps me out how he watches me and others. Just sits there watching.” I shivered. Mom remained still. Finally she spoke. “Rob is a robot, Tyson.” My world rocked. Finally after a few minutes of silence I managed to gasp, “What—?! How—??” “Your dad made him. He is his life’s work, his crowning creation. He’s so real and lifelike and seems to have real human feelings and emotions. Your dad wanted to treat him as his son. That’s why we never told you. He’s just so proud of him….” Her voice trailed off and she looked away. It all fell into place. Why dad was so upset whenever I wasn’t perfect. Why Rob always did what he wanted and he seemed to hold that over me as a standard. Rob was programmed to do whatever dad wanted. Rob was the son he wanted. I wasn’t. Everything went dark and I screamed myself to sleep.

It would have been the perfect trip. Pontooning on Lake Sequoia was what I’d always wanted to do. But I just sat there, moping. Dad was uncomfortable and tried to be cheerful. Mom was sad. Only Rob didn’t seem to feel the emotional energy. He just sat there watching us, ever curious but not showing any feeling. Today he was really creeping me out, watching my every move with a cold, calculating stare. After a bit he offered to go for a swim. I shrugged. “Maybe you’re too tired,” he said with a sneer. That did it. I didn’t want to show my inferiority in front of dad. That had been the way it was my whole life and Rob knew that was my weakness. We jumped into the water. After we were a hundred feet or so from the boat Rob began to show off and tease me into trying to compete. But it wasn’t fair. Rob didn’t have to hold his breath like me. He gave the appearance of breathing because he’d been made to seem human, but he didn’t actually need oxygen. His only weakness was that he couldn’t stay out in the water for more than 3 hours or so. His parts would become waterlogged and he would have to dry. It was the one weakness he had that I knew bothered dad. He wasn’t waterproof.

We had been swimming for over 3 hours. I had been trying to hold up so that I could have one over on him. I wanted him to give in and go back to the boat but he wouldn’t. Suddenly I realized that I couldn’t keep swimming. My arms just wouldn’t move anymore. “Help!” I screamed to Rob. I might as well have asked a rock to help me. Then I noticed the boat moving towards us. Dad was coming to rescue Rob before he was destroyed. I began to panic for us both. I tried everything I knew but I was wearing out fast. The boat came nearer. I heard a splash, I knew dad was in the water. He would pull Rob out…That wouldn’t be time… I was sinking…

I felt a strong arm pull me up out of the water. I gasped for life-giving breath. I couldn’t. I was on the boat. I felt a hard thump on my back. Water gushed out of my mouth. I took a huge gulp of air. When I could finally sit up dizzily I noticed that there were only 2 of us on the boat. “Where’s Rob? Where’s dad?!” “Your dad went for you first and Rob disappeared,” Mom replied, between sobs. “But—“ “Your dad’s heart isn’t good.” I suddenly noticed him, lying on the bed. “He knew he could only save one of you.” “Mom!!! Is he gonna make it? I rushed to his side, full of panic and horror. Mom was driving fast. I mean, fast. “I hope so.” Suddenly it hit me. “Mom! He saved me first!” “You’re his son, Tyson.” “But—“ “He can replace Rob. But he can never replace you.” “He—he gave his life for me!” “Rob loved him and did what he wants cause he couldn’t help it. But you choose. That’s why he gave his life for you. He wants the son that chooses him.”

I look into a garden A lovely, inviting place. I see trees with low hanging branches And a gentle, grassy space. If I lived there I’d never go hungry, For fruit is abundant and free, And the fountain in the midst of the garden Is calling out to me.

Roses just for pleasure Are planted near and far. I can see where the lettuce grows And where the snap-dragons are. I see corn on tall stalks Mint and basil here and there. Potatoes and carrots, beats and squash Give to the atmosphere a home-like air. Flowers everywhere whose names I don’t know, Adorn the beds In which they grow. Everywhere are signs of flourishing Evidence of careful, tender nourishing.

I want to go in there and be free In that lovely garden-land. I feel that it was made for me By the gentle gardener’s hand. I know that I would be happy and safe For I see the marks of tender care In that beautiful and welcoming place Here and there and everywhere.

But between me and that haven Is a great and tall wall. I don’t know if I Can get in there at all. And on top of that I am in a great fortress Living in a castle, I am a princess. Protected and sheltered I am a lucky child But someday I’d like to Leave these palace walls And step into that garden And be allowed to grow wild.