Santa opened the sack of toys, ready for the next delivery. Suddenly, he leaps back, and a ferret runs out of bag!!

What, were you expecting a cat?

Santa is a bit of a bother doing his daily rounds delivering presents, to all the children of the world. Oh no Santa fell on the roof and slipped Thump what a sad day.

He does this every year and every year there is no problem. But this year we get into a little bit of a pickle. He gets stuck inside the chimney of his last house. I guess you could say he was a tad bit embarrassed. This has never happened before so why has it this year. And his last house, what a way to go out. But let’s be honest we all know why this has happened. With all the years he has done this job this has never happened. But this year is different. It’s all become of the many many years of this job, he has eaten way over billions of cookies and what not. The nicest way to put this is to say that he has put on a little bit of weight. Yikes! Let’s hopefully this doesn’t happen again. We just need someone to tell him this. But how do tell Santa that he’s getting fatter, ‘Hey Santa, the reason you got stuck in that last chimney is because your fat, your fatter than you were last year so yeah sorry’. Yeah no I’m not gonna be the one to break this news to him. Well let’s hope this is a one time thing.

Santa got stuck in my 1 centimetre by 1 centimetre chimney. “ Ho Ho Ho , oh no. Young man you must take on my role and deliver these presents to all the children that have been good this year. Take the sled upon your roof.”

“Sure.” Santa is now a bit of a bother .

We have all heard of the story when Santa got stuck in the chimney. Well this story is near enough like that one. Let me tell you the time when Santa was turned into a child. It was an ordinary Christmas Eve when Santa was eating his cookies and milk before delivering the toys.

"Oh my what have we here?" Santa says to his elve picking up a broken toy that was rusting away. “Not sure Santa” the elve says scratching his head. Santa blew off the dust which covered the toy and it filled the room. Suddenly, the dust tickled Santa’s nose and...pop.

“Santa!” The elve shrieks as his hat flies off watching Santa shrink. “What happened?” Santa asks looking up at the elve. “You, you’ve turned into a ch....child Santa” the elve stutters watching Santa. Santa sighs moving away from his signature red suit, covering himself with his baggy top. Santa looks up at the clock. “Ho Ho Ho, look at the time. We need to sort this out and fast” Santa says as the elve picks up broken toy which Santa dropped as he transformed. “It kinda looks like a clown" the elve says holding the toy to the light.

“Wait, this is the tooth fairy symbol” the elve declares pointing the the base of the crumbling toy. “Yes, yes I remember. I built this toy many years ago for an orphan boy to give to the caretaker. The caretaker was a horrid one at that. The tooth fairy placed a spell on the toy to make the older man turn into the age of the child” Santa says excitedly shaking the elve in happiness. “How did the boy or...man grow back?” The elve asks.

"Christmas day” Santa says folding his arms together. “We can’t wait that long” the elve says to himself rubbing his chin. The elve smiles after a few moments “wear this, we will go together with Tuffy and Doogle” the elve says holding a spare elve uniform which was on a cupboard desk. “Good idea, I will meet you at the sleigh” Santa says grasping the elve uniform before popping away to his office.

You can guess what happened next right? Santa and his three loyal elves saved Christmas. They worked together to deliver the toys and Santa returned to normal by early Christmas Day. The magical broken toy? Well...Santa restored it, just in case it was needed for anyone who lost faith in the magic of Christmas.

"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night” Santa yells in his squeaky childish voice as the last of the presents were delivered.

” it has been on charge all year and the bloody sat nav has now stopped working ” bellowed santa

” you have had that one for centuries, it's of no surprise so you should have gone to speck savers and got your glasses replaced ” snarled an impatient reindeer

” I was going to buy you one for Christmas ” smiled an elf in santas defence.

” stop all the bitching reindeer if you are wanting one of Mrs clauses mince pies” snapped santa

A fairy now joined the down on his luck santa and advised if wanting to apply for a Christmas wish that he would need to deliver to fairy town first and also include a year's worth of Mrs Clauses mince pies.

Santa accepted and as he then wished for the rest of the day to go right,
The trouble making sat nav suddenly sprang back to life and so everyone's presents we're delivered on time.

And as the day went on Santa and his crew happily fulfilled their once a year mission .

Whilst taking a rest in the north pole , Santa delved into the emergency supply box for to a well earned glass of sherry .

After a few sips he was soon pouring his heart out to who ever would listen.

Forgetting that fairys had radar ears.

Then after a few more sherrys Santa whispered to head elf that fairy had dealt a hard bargain

fairy pointed her wand his way and replied a deal is a deal.

Mrs clause heard it all on the intercom and did agree with her husband but because it was Christmas she wanted to keep the piece between santa and all of his helpers so she went ahead and invited every one to get their arses round for a glass or two of sherry .

” Now that's what I call a deal ” smiled fairy.

Santa, fairy and elf now instructed reindeer to take them home. ” your not really bitch ” beamed santa

Reindeer fluttered her long eye lashes from her large bambi looking eyes and bellowed ” let's forget your fuck up Santa as it has after all turned into a great day”

Santa laughed all the way home because it had been a good Christmas indeed