From the moment I signed

I saw things I shouldn’t have seen

Soldiers dying left and right

The weather wearer them down

The weak were left behind

The rest were starved and forced

To walk miles of unstretched land

In the hands of Japan

Iv seen some terrible things

Parents annd children being taken

And sent to god forsaken camps

The men were forced to fight

They starved them nearly t...

I have a playlist dedicated to my funeral

My favourite song is everyone dies

I think about death all the time.

Uncomfortable truths

I’ve grown comfortable with at my young age.

Ageing has never scared me, maybe death once or twice

Or a few billion times

But I have grown accustomed

To my own mortality

I lack poetic prose, in this simple phrasing

But I have to be honest

Death does not scare me

...

TW ED (more from my book lol)

The first thing I wanted to lose

was my stomach.

Get rid of the little pouch

that formed when I sat down.

But the last thing you lose

is your stomach.

You lose your happiness

long before that.

Your identity,

your life.

Maybe in another lifetime,

I could have just

lived with that little pouch.

...

I don’t make eye contact

I look to the side

Because you acknowledging my existence

Makes me anxious inside

To have a presence

A desire and will

If I don’t take up space

Will you be mean to me still?

If I don’t look at you

I can pretend I’m not real

I’ll be a ghost instead

At least they don’t have to feel...

I can no longer see the world

There are no rose colored glasses.

the truth has now unfurled

Now time passes like molasses

All hope is gone

I can’t close, I cant shut

I guess again ill wait till dawn

but, I can’t, it’s too much smutt....

“Are you seeing this?”

“Eye do.”

“You see those leaves?”

“Eye do.”

“You see that smile?”

“Eye do.”

“And you see the farmers?

The cows and their young.

You see the sick dying.

And the little ones grow.

You see the seasons change.

The colors swirl within.

You see a kid unwrap a gift.

The animals flit and run.

Shiny and clean.

Dirty and old…”

“Eye do.”

“But you can’t.”

“But eye do.”

“You’re blin...

Like bats in hidden caves, with eyes moon-bright.

Like flowers that bloom only at night.

Like little lost children we hope will come home.

Like people all alone.

Like the wind that blows.

Like ships hidden under waves that drowned.

Like feelings we bury deep, deep down.

Like the dreams we have when we sleep.

Like tears we weep.

Like secrets we keep....

The eye is all seeing

which sounds awful freeing

but nothing can hide

not even the fearful bride

the eyes have seen at all

even the most boring wall

it wishes for it to stop

but the eyelids are unable to drop

so many cruel things to be shown

but even after seeing it all, it’s so alone

the cruel reality of us all

not even the thought of you can stall

i would die if that’s what it took

bu...

But all I can do

is write about it;

the empty things

I’ve seen.

The blank stare

behind my smiling teeth.

They're broken

and crooked, you see.

Still I'm left choking

on the air you

refuse to let me breathe.

Cold and alone,

in this mental reality..

A roll of gypsy dice.

My lips have been

locked in a vice.

The simple words

I want to say;

conform to the neurons,

I lose everyday.

So...

Sweet glowing tangerine sky,

Grass grows greener on the other side,

And if you plan to die, do it right,

And if you plan to cry, do it at night,

In salted mango air,

From their graves, they all stare,

Their gloves you wear,

Sweet red daises,

Sweet blood red,

Bad man, you fled,

Bad man, they all bled,

Forgive us all now,

Sleigh down a hill of death,

Exist, die, nonetheless,

Eyes that have see...