Writing Prompt
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Can you UNCOVER the keywords that keep this secret. Warning: not for the faint of haert
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I still have your hoodieā¦ I still wear it more then I care to admitā¦ Always struggling with the fact that me having itā¦ Was supposed to mean something, wasnāt it? Wrapped up in you ā¦ Even though you let me go. Trying to hold on to the good feelings I feltā¦ Before I was ā pathetic ā and whatever else. The good ones always end up bruised.. Iāve been shown it enough, To know that statement is nothing but truthā¦ Maybe one day Iāll think of you and be filled up with hateā¦ But for now Iām still filled with all that love I gave away.
Can you understand The very veins of my heart? How each of them are a string, Playing a symphony of feelings?
Can you understand The numbness you create? How cold my mind becomes From the these thoughtless games?
Can you understand The pain you pierced me with? How my heart can no longer beat With want or love?
My mind always wonders back to you. To what we had. Always blaming time and circumstances, For the choices you made. And thatās fine. People place effort where they want to. And you chose to question and view the beauty of what we could have been.. As a burden. Always shutting me up at the first sign of upset So every time I tried to speak out I was āpatheticā Words may not break bones But they stay with youā¦ They haunt you. Pathetic? Me? For being rightfully upset? If so, what are you? For all youāve done, and all you do?
Well? Can you keep it in your head, Or hell? in your need which i fed.
When, You keep this in your chest. Then, Hold it under your breast.
Keep, It warm and loved, Sleep, With it and hold it gloved.
Well, Can you keep it on your lips. Quell, This so it doesnāt slip.
Fill, It if needs be. Thrill, And ache it to be free.
ā¦
Love you baby š¤
Psst, can you keep a secret? Why yes, yes I can. What is it? I found out the meaning to life! Wow, what is it?
You gotta know when to hold them - cherish, love and embrace the ones you love and care for and that do the same back to you.
You gotta know when to fold them - giving up isnāt easy but sometimes it just has to be done. Not giving up on life but giving up on someone who no longer serves the good in you.
You gotta know when to walk away - walking away or turning your back does not warrant you as a bad person. It simply means that being angry and having rage doesnāt get you far, you gotta think to yourself, is it worth my peace of mind to bite back with anger?
You gotta know when to run - if your gut or instincts tell you to get out of there and fast, you gotta run and donāt ever look back.
You never count your money whilst youāre sitting at the table, thereāll be time enough for counting when the dealings done - be humble and donāt flaunt what youāve got. Some peopleās soul purpose is to bring you down to their level, to belittle you and make you who you are not. Thereāll be time enough for counting or rather to see what you got when youāre on your own with the people you truly trust.
That is my secret to life, donāt change for anyone else but YOU.
Shhh. You canāt tell anyone. Promise?
Iāve fucked up everything. Absolutely everything. Here, Iāll take you back to the beginning:
I liked a girl. She was beautiful, She was funny, She was chaotic, She wasā¦ She was amazing. She was everything I could ever want. And, by some miracle of fate, She liked me too. And we got together in a slightly weird way, But it had the same result. We hang out all the time, We texted for hours on end, Weā¦ We fell in love. And it was fireworks And shooting stars And bursts of lighting And everything magical. But then it all fell apart. Sheā¦ She wasnāt always nice. My friends hated her. But I kept hanging on, Even when she ignored me, Even when she yelled at me, Even when she hurt me. But eventually it was too much. It just hurt so badly every time I talked to her. So I broke up with her. I didnāt regret it, I knew it was the right thing to do. I just couldnāt take it anymore. She was too much for me. But I still thought she was an amazing person, She was just meant for someone else. So why did it piss me off when she got someone else? It was someone I was friends with, Someone I knew would treat her right. Why did it kill me to see them so happy? Why did I act like I hated her, Feel so much annoyance - But whenever anyone asked, I meant it when I said she was a good person? Why did I feelā¦ Whatever that wasā¦ When they broke up? What the hell am I doing? And why did it sting so much when she (Someone I supposedly didnāt care about) Texted me to say I was a good person and she wanted to be friends Only after they broke up? Why can I not get her out of my head, Even though weāve been talking again for just over a day? Why, why, why? Why am I like this? Whatās wrong with me? Andā¦ Is it truly wrong to want her back? Itās fine, as long as I donāt do anything about itā¦ ā¦right?
(Just to let you know. This part goes before the last chapter I wrote. Thanks for the reads!!)
Iād never felt more scared in my entire life. Holding Maisie close to my chest as I run through the streets, hoping that Iām not too late.
If I am then thereās no point, no point in . . . Life.
I pant as the hospital comes into view. Hold on. I think as I glance down at Maisieās tired, lifeless face. God, please hold on.
My arms start aching as I come up to the hissing doors, I rush into them my eyes stinging with tears as I meet the eyes of a nurse passing by.
āHelp,ā I sob as she rushes to my side, grabbing hold of Maisie. āHelp . . . Her.ā
The nurse presses her fingers on the side of Maisieās neck as more doctors crowd around me. They speak fast, I can barely understand them. Itās like another language, and I wish I knew it.
Thereās a small rattling sound as a doctor rolls over a cot. The nurse who came to me reaches out for Maisie, giving me a worried, kind smile.
āWhatās happening?ā I ask as they take Maisie away from me, my arms relaxing from the pain. āIs she okay?ā
The cot rolls away, with all the doctors surrounding it, still speaking those fast words that have no meaning to me.
The nurse wraps her arm around my shoulder, giving me a quick hug. āWeāll do everything . . .ā She tells me.
Everything . . . Her words echo through my midn. Weāll do everything. What if everything isnāt enough, what if I loseā
I shake my head as the nurse guides me to a waiting room. Thereās a young woman pacing the floor, biting at her fingers as she swipes at her tears. And an old man whoās sitting in one of the chairs next to a table with magazines piled up on it. His face is buried into one with the cover of a beautiful, big house. I can tell heās not actually reading it, heās just wanting a way to hide his fear, his tears.
āWeāll be out with news as soon as we can,ā the nurse comforts me as she brushes a loose strand of her bouncy black hair behind her ear. āIs there anyone we can call . . . Your parents . . . Maybe.ā
I almost laugh at that. My parents . . . My parents. The two people I donāt have anymore, the two people who might be meeting Maisie.
I shake my head again for two reasons. I can tell that sheās caught onto one of them. She parts her lips. Suddenly I can feel that sheās put the small pieces together.
āMy brother . . .ā I blurt out. āCan you call him and tell him where I am?ā
The nurse licks her lips, nodding sweetly as she wipes at her dry cheeks. āOf course sweetie. Is there anything you want me to tell him?ā
No. Is the first thought that pops into my head but then a million things follow after. Maisieās aunt . . . She defiantly should know. Maybe Tommy can wait for her at Maisieās house? Wait Tommy doesnāt even know about Maisie! Gosh I canāt beileve I still havenāt told him! Itās fine . . . We can talk . . . Hopefully all three of us. Me, Tommy and Maisieās aunt.
āUm . . . Yeah, tell him to go to this address,ā I write the address down on a piece of paper thatās sitting on the table next to me. āAnd tell him to get here as fast as he can . . . After heās gotten Maisieās aunt.ā
The nurse nods fast, as she takes the paper from me. āIāll do that.ā
āThank you,ā I call softly after her as she walks down the white halls.
I take in a deep, deep breath. Breathing in that stinging smell of alcohol, that always makes me feel clean. The doctor smell, the smell I hope will be in my nose when they save Maisie . . . Not when they lose her.
. . .
āD!ā Tommy shouts my name as my eyes shoot open. I wasnāt asleep, at least not yet. Or maybe I was . . . I canāt really remember.
I stand up, as Tommy floods into me. The smell of smoke creeping into my nose. Itās the best thing Iāve smelled all day. Tommy . . .
I peer over his shoulder to see a woman who smiles meekly at me, lifting one of her hands in a gentle wave.
Tommy breaks away from me, turning to the woman as she reaches to the back of her blonde pony tail and tightens it.
āDavian?ā She says like a question even though I know she knows. āIām Trish, Maisieās . . . Maisieās aunt.ā
I take a step closer, she looks almost just like Maisie. Sheās got a small, kind smile, except her eyes donāt light up the same way. I guess I canāt be judging that now, considering everything.
āHey,ā I mumble as Tommy puts his hand on my shoulder.
āDavian,ā he whispers in my ear. āYou wanna tell us whats going on?ā
I nod once, as Tommy leads us over to three black chairs. Iām not sure what to say, do I tell them about . . . The crash. The mistakes Iāve made these past couple of months.
Trish takes a seat next to me, patting my hand as she settles into her seat. āI didnāt know Maisie had you.ā She mutters. āShe never mentioned anything . . . Anyone.ā
I pinch my fingers as I watch my feet, what do I do? Tell them the truth. A voice echos in my mind, a voice that I swear is Maisieās. Or maybe my parents? Or . . . The good side of me.
I tell them everything. All the details, all the things that have happened. The crash, meeting Maisie becoming friends with her. I didnāt exactly mention the part about falling for her, but Iām sure they get the idea. Or they will.
Trish lets out a long sigh when I finish, her blue eyes not at all as shocked as I was expecting. Tommy on the other hand is speechless, his eyes are on my forehead as he scratches his head.
āSo you . . . You . . .ā Tommy starts, his hazel eyes open so wide they almost seem to be popping out. Which is kind of unsettling and comforting.
My head moves up and down as I look at my folded arms. Dadās leather coat glints in the dim light of the hospital, and suddenly Iām filled with peace. Telling the truth was right . . . I just wish someone else was here.
āAnd does Maisie know about . . . This?ā Trish asks, her voice calm and collected. Either sheās an actor from Hollywood whoās posing as Maisieās aunt or sheās just really good at pretending to be okay with this.
I shake my head as guilt washes through me. āI . . . I want to . . . I wanted to . . .ā I trail as Trish pats my shoulder.
I look over at her. Tears are sliding down her cheeks as she gives me the weakest smile. āItās okay . . . Iāve noticed that Maisie has been more happy lately. Iām guessing youād have something to do with that.ā
Happy? If she was happy the why are the three of us here? Was it meant to happen, Maisie getting hurt so badly? Fate . . . Did fate want me to tell the truth?
I shrug as tears begin to blur my vision. I canāt beileve Iām not getting yelled at. I want to . . . I need a punishment, I need to be hit or punched.
āCan you . . . Keep this between us?ā I murmur as Tommy and Trish share glance. āIām not exactly ready for her to hate me.ā
āYeah,ā Trish and Tommy say at the same time. I almost smile, why do they trust me so much? Iāve barely even seen Tommy, and the way I acted throughout our whole life . . . And Trish. She just found out I killed her sister, and we just met.
I shut my eyes as I run a hand down my face. Iām so tired of this. It feels good to have everything off my chest, but I still need to tell the most important person in my life.
āJust promise youāll tell her . . .ā Trish whispers into my ear. āWhen youāre ready.ā
And then it happens. I start sobbing. I feel like Iāve walked into a nightmare thatās also a dream.
Still, the only thought that runs through my heart is Maisie Bowden. And thatās more than perfect . . . Itās enough to give me hope . . . Hope that I thought I lost when I woke up to find that I was an orphan.
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