Dear Wile E. Coyote:

If watching cartoons has taught me anything, it is that you will never catch the Roadrunner.

I think it is funny the lengths that you go through to catch that very fast bird. The TNT. The Acme contraptions. The anvils. The anvils are the best. What are you thinking using an anvil and rubber band trying to shoot Roadrunner. Don’t you know that the earth will get pulled ...

“If watching cartoons has taught me anything, it’s that all laws are optional! Especially the laws of physics!” I yelled jumping of the roof. Gunshots followed me as I dived.

“Andy why?” My assistant cried jumping after me.

I cackled as the police looked down from the roof in horror.

I checked the bag to make sure all the rubies were still there, when I made the deadly mistake.

I looked down.

...

If watching cartoons has taught me anything, it’s that ghosts aren’t real and humans are the real monsters. That thought crossed my mind as I stood in the dimly lit alley, rain falling in a misty drizzle. I had found a crumbled note wedged into my car door, the ink barely readable. The note read: Meet me at the abandoned amusement park at the edge of town at midnight. Come alone if you dare.

I b...

Breathe. Take another step. Breathe. And another. Breathe. Take ano-

“Ahhhhhhhhhh!”

And breathe.

Just breathe.

And run!

Definitely run!

“Lauren! Help me!”

“Get up then!”

“But I need help!”

“Too bad! Every man or woman for himself or herself out here!”

“But LAURAN! We’re besties! Ar...

“If watching cartoons has taught me anything, it’s friendship overcomes all” He said with quite the gusto.

“Well yeah but you needs friends for that” Miri jabbed with all the grace of a snake choking itself on a mouse.

“Ha. Ha. You crack me up, but how are we-“ he looked at Miri, Al and then pointed at himself. “-WE! Going to do about the very glaring issue at hand here. The very issue that no on...

“If watching cartoons has taught me anything, it’s that you don’t actually start falling until you look down.” Lisa explained calmly.

“I’M NOT JUMPING OFF A CLIFF.” screams Meg.

They were cornered at the end of a ravine. While Meg and Lisa were fighting over the best course of action for their escape route, Nick was shooting holes into the tires of the all terrain vehicles that were racing towar...

The day you doubt Petunia is the day you doubt that Pepe is a cat! Yes in life there are so few choices that make any sense when you fall in love. But unrequited is the most unfortunate of all. You live to live and hurt all the while. Yep Pepe is a skunk.

I have expressed my upmost distress that I do dislike Pepe and I never want him. Days go by and all I can do is scamper. Wild in my ways I groom...

If watching cartoons has taught me anything, it’s the power that comes from working hard towards something you want. One of my all time favorite anime, My Hero Academia’s main character is inspiring to me because he never gives up, no matter what. I would like to use that approach in my own life more often, but unfortunately I can’t seem to figure out what exactly I want, there’s so many different...

“If watching cartoons has taught me anything, it’s to never give up.”

Duke shakes his head. “You need to stop referencing Wiley E. Coyote while we crack this safe.”

I grin and hold my breath, stethoscope two inches below the dial, spinning it slowly, listening to the clicks. I turn it another inch. Got it.

“56,” I say, adjusting my placement. “Don’t down the ‘yote. Did you know he caught him t...

If watching cartoons has taught me anything, it’s that there is really no reason to ever leave my bed. I mean, except to go to the bathroom and get food. I guess I could get a mini fridge. And a bedpan. Or a urinary catheter.

Okay, so maybe this life lesson isn’t turning me into Gandhi or anything. But here’s the thing: no matter what time you wake up in the morning, there will be cartoons on. And...