Like the seconds, After lightening strikes. Before the, Thunder clap.

Like the minutes, Between us, As we try to, Break it.

Like the eternity, We spent. Side by side, Knowing each other.

Like the forever, We chose. When we said, ‘I love you’

…

I love you 🖤

we left memories here to die, but i still remember the night you told me about your mother, about your birthday last year, about the day your dog died. the violence had already started when you opened your mouth. every wound was just as fresh as the day i died. but you— you were so human to me in those moments you acted as a nuisance. and maybe your mom was right, because you haven’t done anything new since.

nothing lasts forever and i hope that’s true. i was so young when you grew, but when i close my eyes i can almost see the top of your head. when i close my eyes, here i am. you’ve found me. in the bathroom that night you stood taller than me (even with my eyes closed, i saw you looking down.)

there i sat, with my head in my hands on the cold tile, and the chill of you looming over me. i was human then, too, if you didn’t notice.

I regret to inform you Began the letter stained with ink How my heart became bitter When you left me by the sink

My guilty thoughts are gone So come back please I have loved you all along So where’d your luggage go As you left you took all of your clothes Now I’m wondering if you’ll ever come back home

I am happy to inform you Began the letter stained with tears How my heart no longer fears When I left you it’s become clear

My complacent thoughts are gone So don’t go back please I had loved you all along My luggage is not here As I left I took all of my clothes Where I’m going now I’ll make my heart my home

i’m scared All the What Ifs Are flying like birds Around my racing heart

Life is a battle Which I’m willing to win But one thing I can’t do Is stay strong without your love

I need you I know it’s selfish But the way we walk, Flipping our hair, Through the twisty path of life Will forever leave me stunned

I want you to see that I want you to smell The purple daisies Feel The fluffy blankets See The sparkling light I see When you laugh with me

Forget about the clouds You can’t reach Forget about the slope You can’t climb Forget about the mishaps You can’t change

I know it seems like Counting cracks is the Only way to survive But survival may Make you pristine

But living And changing And letting go And capturing And believing And crying And embracing Will make you shine

So please Be awake Be present Don’t miss The good times Because they are always better With you around💙

It’s so damn cold here in my soul. No one knows the horror I’ve known. I feel the darkness coming, it’s cold. It’s taking over this hole in my soul.

I see all the Tortured souls, so easily. “They’re crying out ‘Save Me,’
Screaming inside, bleeding and Dying.”

They now wander around alone in a zombie-like state only to Eventually fall into a deep black void. Then disappear into the darkness forever.

I need help. There, I said it. I need help.

I thought I was okay. I thought I might be able to make it. I thought I was getting better. But I’m not. I see that now. For months I’ve been getting worse and worse, Brushing off the dark thoughts when they crept into my mind.

But I think I finally realized recently: Suicidal thoughts aren’t normal. It’s not normal to look into every mirror and say, “I hate you.” Normal people don’t snap a hairband against their wrist To drive away the urge to tear at skin.

Its hard to deny something’s truly broken in me when I’m sitting on the floor, shaking as my vision goes blurry from tears.

But how the hell are you supposed to ask for help?

“Hey mom, yeah so I know that you raised me and love me and are so proud of me, but those are all stupid things because I consider myself a total failure and spend most days hoping I’ll wake up dead the next morning. What’s for dinner?”

I’m not okay, I am broken, But what am I supposed to do?

We just had a unit in mental health and my teacher said “If you woke up and your hip was sore, And then you went a few days thinking it’d go away but it’s still sore, You wouldn’t try to treat it yourself. You don’t have medical knowledge. You’d tell your parents, And they’d monitor it a few days, And if it still hurt you’d get help. You’ve gotta talk to someone.” Following this analogy, My “hip” has been hurting for months. Some days it’s manegable, Some days I can barely “walk.” But saying “hey, my hip’s sore,” won’t destroy the people you love. “Hey, I want to die,” on the other hand, can do some damage.

So if my heart is broken glass, I’d rather have the shattered peices cut into my skin, Destroying me from the inside, Than let anyone I care about get cut by the shrapnel.

If I had any self control, I wouldn’t even post this. But I need someone in this world to know. Even if it’s just a stranger a thousand miles away online, I need someone to know: I’m not okay.

I love you. Love is a strong word to atone to, especially for me, knowing i once loved true, then it crashed down, burning and turning to something i once knew.

Love is a scary word for me, Knowing how it beat me to my knees, on a cold winter night, Wondering “how can i love right?”

Love is a beautiful thing though, how it binds to you, How it morphs you back into the child you once knew, feeling the warmth that you knew was true.

Love is scary. Digging out the feelings you once had to bury, For reasons that flooded your present with your past, Then it supposingly comes back in a flash? but your still scared of love right? So the memories of your last affect you leaving you still an outcast.

I do not know how to feel I do not really know what to think I am just sitting here on this sidewalk Feeling lost, confused, not knowing what I should do

But just sit here While thinking about what happened And feeling so numb, so dumb Just sitting here with so much nothingness

And yet, despite how awful I feel With what has happened There is this feeling A feeling of sad happiness

It is something that makes me down But still makes me happy Because it lets me know that I am human That I can embrace the sad happiness

A sad happiness that is real That makes me feel connected A sad happiness that is like this voice The voice tells me that it will get better

It eventually will at some point It makes me feel like there is something there That makes me aware To just keep yourself looking and moving forward

To know and think that there is something worthwhile Out there for me This sad happiness makes that clear to me

As I can see, there is going to be so much for me This sad happiness reminds me of what I should do and be

I feel like lately My poems have been Nothing Maybe because lately I’ve been so much better I felt real happiness My depression has lifted a little And my muse has gone away Perhaps now I must write about My mixed emotions For I don’t always feel this great And I don’t always feel this terrible I have a new muse But some how it’s different Or is it? I can’t tell

I miss creating masterpieces Ones I am very proud of But I only could create those Because of my depression So thank you I suppose I will compose Better poetry in the future When I have an ache in my heart Only poetry can express

You don’t belong to me, you never have But those days and nights are mine Say I am selfish, say I am this or am that

Torn between going in peace and fighting for you She has had you, but when you are here, you’re mine The early mornings belong to me, but she has you at night

I could just ask you of what you want But this would be too complicated Should I? Would it lead anywhere? Would it lead you back to her Would she have you during the early mornings?