I say I still suffer

But I no longer pick my nails

As white as they are now

They have started to return

Dirt in the bedding

Spots on the ivory

Shown struggle from years

Where I would scrap all the fiber

I made a promise some years ago

That when I switch the timing

Stop wasting what should grow

Then happiness would find me

But what I barely knew

What I didn’t expect

Was the wealth of...

I like you

I really do

but I shouldn’t

it’s dumb

it’s stupid

I’m being an idiot

you probably like her

you don’t notice me

you never will

but _ugh_, your EYES

no

it doesn’t matter

it’s never going to happen

I mean, look at you

and look at me

I have no chance

but _ugh_, your SMILE

you’re so agKajsAbrFaPxMbgGaga

NO

STOP IT

I have to stop this

the more I fall

the harder it’ll be to get over you

the ...

I’m fighting off the demons in my sleep

I pray to God my soul is his too keep

I really hope it’s not too late for me

But I’m starting to think I’m in too deep

Uh bourbon sipper

Pill popper

Fucking up my liver

Oh my liver my poor liver

But without it I get

shivers shivers shivers

Withdraws make me feel like I’m slowly dying

Withdraws make me wanna die quicker

Devil in the red dress hopp...

For this to catch your attention

I would like to start at the beginning

Pull up a chair and get ready to listen

So I can intrude you on

What you’ve been missing

Daydreaming about you

Gives me a sense of sensation

I fantasize about you teasing me

Unconditionally

As I elude you so I can appeal appeasing

The thought of your touch igniting and rushing into me

Not for a second will I feel une...

Sometimes I wonder,

How long will it take for them to stop?

For them to stop giving me attention?

For them to turn away and make snide comments?

For them to stop showing me any traces of human affection?

And I know,

I know, trust me,

That this isn’t good to think of.

Yet the thought won’t escape me.

She’s my friend,

But I wonder how long would it take,

I wonder when the word would be used no...

🖤warning I wrote this back in December of last year I’m in a better headspace now (somewhat) anyways enjoy 🖤

I was gettin by

Not getting high

From January to September

I can’t tell you when or why I fell off the wagon can’t remember

Something about a girl

Late October or November

I got sick and tired of all the fighting

I surrender

Just took some Xanax that I got from my dealer

Drunk and...

Im addicted to your flame

Like a moth that can’t escape

And you’re my only friend

That’ll bury me in the end

You’re as gorgeous as a rose

And I keep ignoring your thorn’s

Trapped in your toxic web

You’re always in my head

I can tell your full of lies

But I can’t help but look in your eyes

Baby you’re poison

My beautiful poison

Controlling my choices

Baby you’re poison

My beautiful poi...

An old man with a crooked grin,

pulled me close with promises thin.

“Out of hell and away from sin,

a ride to peace—just step right in.”

The price was steep, all that I knew,

but with nothing left, what could I lose?

Yet as I neared, a shadow grew,

a boy with tears, old and blue.

Beside him, anger built in tin,

a man who’d lost to what’s within,

and a woman with flakey, peeling skin.

A sign fl...

It can be a nasty thing

Getting hurt so bad

So many times

But

Wanting to feel that rush again

To feel the warmth of the world

The urge to jump back in

That trap

That warm oasis

That feels like like home

But son,

Don’t fall for it

You’ve gone through it too many times

Don’t fall for that mirage again...

A guillotine for my right hand assures

That I might at least contemplate

The right next time before jumping in with both feet, 

While I yet hold my hands up high above.

No follow-through from me,

Poor bloodless blade of guillotine....