In my lifetime, I’ve discovered, We all have shades to be uncovered. Shades of beauty, shades of pain, Shades of joy and shades of rain.

Some bring happiness, set us free, Moments filled with purest glee. Some bring teardrops to the eye, Moments when we question why.

Desperate for a love that's true, For someone who can see us through. To hold our shades within their hands, To understand what each shade demands.

Some shades need a warm embrace, To love us in our darkest place. Someone who knows what each shade means, From white to black to in between.

When colors start to chip and fade, They’ll run quickly to our aid, And like an artist, they will paint, Their love on all our darkest shades.

Aid me in my thievery Will you?

Desperate We stalk the night Looking for a sign of life

Closer to the car they lurk Shifting in their seats We smirk

Shades, the neighborhood cat comes out to play “Shoo!” we say “Go away!”

Not tonight, Another day

Humming, Hoping we go away

“Give us your car or you’ll get hurt!” They lay face down in the dirt

We take the cat and steal their keys

We start the engine Successfully

Joyride Mission: complete

Meow Let’s givethe cat a treat.

<<p.s. dont joyride (:>>

Desperate for a breakthrough A reason to breath easy again At peace only for a minute or two The facade is hell to maintain

Who knew life could come In so many shades of hurt It would be grace to feel numb To be able to channel it into my art

Allow myself the aid I crave Make the healing permanent Handover the driving seat to faith Let my hope be forever prominent

What once was broken, You’ve mended, awoken.

What once was shattered, You pieced back the tattered.

What use to be dark and dreary- Now bright, but no longer cheery.

You’ve been there- No, it’s not fair.

I don’t deserve you. But together we grew…

• Thank you, my love. Truly an angel from above.

Desperate, I was… Needed someone to be there. One day I jumped from the high. I waited for my red blood to spill.

It was you. It’s always been you-

You picked me up. Limbs torn and my brain shattered. Cracked and bloody, there I laid, hurt.

How could someone love something as broken and lost as I once was?

You picked me up. Mended my soul.

Shades of grey and black. Ashes fell, swirling in the mist.

But still; You were there. And here you rushed- To my aid…

Forever by my side. 🖤

I rest my head upon a rock This is where my weary bones shall lay My thoughts and trepidations blocked Till I inevitably wither away.

A distant echo in the woods Makes me ache me like a clarion call Pain, desperation and all the goods Take over as I wait to fall

I rise and stand, broken yet whole As I prepare to take my last steps Tears down my cheek, I bare my souls Hesitation never really helps.

I walk, and my blistered feet burn My calloused hands clutching at distant dreams Let go, the voice says at every turn Lest you be torn apart at the seams.

All in an instant and an eternity I’m at the edge looking into an abyss At shades of blue and a mellow green Finally relaxed and afloat with bliss.

I stare down praying for aid The melodic voice lures me in The siren tells me not be afraid I close my eyes and dive right in.

They were in desperate times but she would never let it show. Whenever she finds herself tired from walking, she just puts on a facade and forces herself to continue their journey. And as always it’s the same worries in her mind as her legs felt like they were about to give out. What will she and her father do if they don’t make it in time? The quicker they get to their destination and sell their wares meant the faster they could sate their hunger. And oh, how they hungered. Her father’s frail body is a sight that reminds her that hunger is a constant ailment they're plagued with. A plague she felt they would never find aid for. She thought all of the inner turmoils in her mind were hidden away from her father’s view but he was wiser than she knew.

“My sweet daughter, we should stop for now.” Her father says turning back and looking at her with concerned eyes.

“No, we must keep moving,” she insists.

He stops and she stops too. He moves towards her but she holds her hands out.

“Father!” She protests. “We have to keep moving.”

Her father takes hold of her held out hands. “Look at me, my beautiful girl, you should try to get some rest.”

She goes to protest again but her legs give out. Her father catches her and with all the strength he can muster carries her over to the back of the cart. He didn’t even mind the wares as he made room for her and placed her there. It reminded her of how he used to tuck her into bed when she was a child. Back then, he would tell her stories of his sea adventures that he acquired when he once sold his wares across oceans. Now, they are lucky if they make it to a small village. Yes, there were once splendid times in her life. Times that were simple and felt everlasting. Every night, she wishes on a star to return back but every morning she is greeted with desperate hunger.

“I will pull the cart while you sleep.” He says as she finds her eyes getting heavy.

She tries to resist but she feels sleepy and weak. Her eyes close and sleep seizes her in its comfortable embrace. Hours later, she is shocked to find herself in a warm bed. Her mind is hazy of memories as she lays awake. Where was she? And how did her father manage to put her here?

She calls for her father but there is no reply. Her heartbeat quickens as her fear rises but then a memory comes back to her, making her grimace in displeasure. Her father had made a foolish decision and she had paid its consequence. While she had slept that day, her father had come across what appeared to be an abandoned castle. He had scoured the place searching for food and had come across a grand meal fit for a king. Quickly, he devoured the meal and even wrapped some food in a cloth to give to her. Making his way back to his cart, he spotted a rose.

A rose he hoped would cheer her up just like it used to when he gifted her one when she was a girl. But they were no longer in splendid times, no, they were in desperate. She wished her father hadn’t taken the rose. For the owner of the castle was enraged by that action. He had almost killed her father but his monstrous roars had awakened her and she managed to plead for his life.

“You will work in this castle to pay off his debt,” The monster fiercely roared, his eyes blazing with anger.

“No!” Her father had begged. “Let me, please, I can work off my own debt.”

“Father, please,” She had said, staring blankly at the monster. “I will do as you wish.”

Her father couldn’t stay in the castle and they had to say a very brief goodbye. Now, every time she slept, her guilt would rise because if she was awake she could’ve deterred him to not enter the castle. And none of this would've happened...

“You’re still not dressed yet?” A voice says from behind her.

She turns to see that is the monstrous creature who owned this lifeless castle.

“I have let you weep for four days now.” He continues, sounding agitated. “Today, you must start your work.”

“It’s been four days?” She said, staring down at herself.

She still wore the same clothes she came in with. Clothes full of wear and tear from all the misfortune she and her father had experienced.

“Yes, four days.” He informs again. “You will need to wash and dress quickly for it’s imperative that we start now.”

“Start what?” She replies but then remembers. “Oh, the work I must do in the castle. Will I be dusting and cleaning?”

“You could if you want but I rather enjoy the dust because it makes it feel lived in.”

She looks at him bewildered. The dust in this castle made it appear unlived in. What could he want her to do if not clean the castle?

“So what do you me to do then?” She wonders, afraid.

“I will need your aid. You see, this castle has a certain quality to it that brings in unsavory sorts.”

She wonders if that’s a reference to her and her father.

“Unsavory sorts like who?” She dares to ask.

“Witches, shades, ghosts, sprites, fairies who can’t keep curses to themselves, vampires, werewolves, whatever you heard of being a simple story to scare children is well, very real.”

She notes the extra contempt in his voice when he mentions the word curses and fairies.

Looking at him in a bit of disbelief, she seems frightened. “Creatures like you?”

He smiles at her, one that sends a shiver down her spine.

“There are things much scarier than me.”

Help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me. I’m still a kid.

Desperate to leech, Make this your life. Practice what you preach, Just to live in strife.

Shades of pain, It’s a matter of degrees. Claw my skin again, Just to make you agree.

Aid came in the pit, Held my own ribs at sunrise. Saw myself as the culprit, Of all I despise

Out of the shade, I rise from this Styx. Seeing of what I was made, Love and empathy was the mix.

A sharp shot of aching paint whips my inner thigh. Ignoring it I keep running, pushing my legs as hard as they will take me. They give way. My hands reach out in front of me as I plummet full speed to the ground. My face is met with the cold dry surface of autumn morning leaves. I focus my eyes to the trees above, seeing the empty sky. I hope I’ve outrun them. Desperate for more coverage I crawl to shades of the trees and prop my back against the nearest one.

I look down to process the river of blood freshly gushing out of my leg. Sitting neatly in the raw flesh pocket sits a Shuriken, the same lion engravement making my stomach twist and pleat. I rip my bag of my back and dive for the flask of water. I guzzle the last rations I left for tomorrow without hesitation before swapping it with what’s left of my emergency aid kit. I scavenge for the bandage and the saline solution. I unscrew the bottle with my mouth and compress the wound as I open the bandage. As I pour the solution over my leg I feel a stinging ripple of pain spike around the wound. Methodically and quickly I bandage it up.

That was the last bandage, I used them all yesterday. It was only yesterday I was at camp. Safe. Me and Taylor were chatting away infront of the roaring fire under the night sky. It warmed us, made us feel alive again, let us forget the chaos and wreck that had previously consumed our days. That was when they arrived. I will never know how they found us again but nevertheless, they did. They took him from me. As they circled the sky over our heads they drove three shurikens into his chest. I watched the light fade from his eyes like a fire burn out on its last match. I ran towards the trees.

I’ve been running since then, only stopping for minor breaks before launching of again. Accept for my bag I left everything there. The food, the weapons, the equipment. Everything I left behind is still sitting there amongst his body. I miss him. I want to go back, not just for supplies but to see him. Just one more time. I can’t. Surely. Can I?

I wake myself back out of the trance and jump to my feet, again checking the sky above for affirmation. I head back the way I came, constant south I came so constant north I will go. My heart pumps in my chest pounding heavily at every footstep. I try and ignore the pain gnawing away at my thigh. Each crunch of each leaf and splinter of each stick beneath my feet gives me an ounce more of hope resting within my heart.

After what feels like hours of running, walking, sprinting, resting, I hear the sound of heavy propellers above me. I scurry to the closest tree hoping it’ll cover me. I put my spine against hers and watch the airship cast a shadow over the tree. I stay still. They know I’m here, but how? I wish Taylor was with me, he’d know what to do. In the shades of the trees ahead I see a bright white light scanning over ahead. It zigzags slowly. My face is soon blinded by the deafening light. They see me, but I can’t move, everything in my is frozen to the tree. I wish Taylor was with me. I hear distant shouting. Someone telling me to get on my knees. But I can’t. Taylor should be here.

I saw different shades of black in my head after I hit my head. I was desperate for some help any type of aid but of course no one came. I’ve slowly sinking into this pit and now I felt like I couldn’t even breath. After a while I’ve come to terms that no one would come to help me so I would have to get out of here myself. I started to get up only to immediately crash back down it felt like my bones haven’t moved for a year and the weight of the world was on them from simply trying to stand. I tried again and then once more but it wasn’t until my fourth try that I could stand and see around me. There was nothing nothing at all everything was black and thorns surrounded me promising me pain if I tried to go through them but that pain would eventually go away and I would heal I had no choice but to go on. After I walked straight forward and to the right or is it left I’m not able to tell I saw a tiny light. But the only way to get to that light was to climb up the thorny vines and that’s how I’d escape. I ripped some of my shirt off wrapped it around my hands and began the climb.