more freedom than one can possess

a lack of thought

endlessly passion

gone from my mind

all cares, all hinderence

spinning, screaming, singing

everything has significance

nothing matters

Do you feel it?

The end is coming

Everything’s starting

Can you feel it?

The insanity

If your dream came true Would you be happy?

It would be yours, yes And it would replace reality

But is that good? Right?

If the world was filled with dreams And reality was thrown out of the mix

People would be the same Be hurt, be sad, be disappointed

Because our dreams create reality This never ending cycle of turning and trying

So try your dream Create the reality

But be mindful that it doesn’t change anything Because reality is still here

And dreams are somewhere else

——

(What the hell? Thanks for reading and have an amazing day)

I’ve seen people lose their light
when they realize their dream won’t come true.
And although that sounds daunting and gray, it’s real.
When their eyes darken and they bow their heads in disappointment,
I know their dream has been shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.

When they realize that this expectation they’ve been holding onto
disappears into the howling wind, never to be seen again,
almost like a kite with a broken string.

This world that we live in is a dark and merciless place,
made to trap you in your own mind and destroy any light that was once there.
It’s almost a funny thing—expectations and reality.

Because sometimes it’s better for those dreams not to come true.
Not everyone has what it takes to rise from the ashes of broken dreams
and return to make it even better.

With stone and brick I built a wall, A fortress never meant to fall. My heart, a thing of guarded grace, Kept safe, untouched, in lonely space.

But then you came, a whispered breeze, Rustling leaves through ancient trees. The walls you breached with laughter's sound, Your sunlight doused the thirsty ground.

Now flowers bloom where shadows lay, And every stone you melt away Reveals a heart that beats anew, A love set free, for only you.

Tw: this is a really long poem, like absurdly long, and might not even be worth the read because i’ve never had a daughter, i just really want one so i figured i’d give this a shot. this is also just a draft so idek at this point… also i didn’t follow the prompt. but despite all that, feedback would be great!

——————

at first you are small, your tiny fingers curled around mine. does that mean you love me? you trust me? i hope so.

and then, you open your little eyes. and they are the most perfect color. and i melt because no matter how many times i’d imagined this moment, it is more amazing than anything in this whole world.

i hug you to my chest and i ignore the pain ignore the stitches and ignore the rest of the world because now that i’ve held you i would burn cities upon cities just to keep you.

but then before i know it you grow up and suddenly you are outgrowing your adorable pink diapers and you start to go to school and i won’t be able to see you every second of every minute of every hour of every day and that breaks my heart.

i almost want to hug you to me i want you to never grow up stay this small, this perfect oh who am i kidding. you’re always going to be perfect. more perfect than i could ever be.

and i didn’t expect it to go so fast but soon you’re painting your nails and dying your hair and talking about boys. oh dear God. boys, who are going to steal you away from me and i will not be able to do anything to prevent it.

and before i can blink you want to go on a date. why why why when did that happen? when did you stop wanting to just hang out with me and watch friends on the couch in our pajamas? i want to say no oh, God, i should say no. but this means so much to you and i worry that you would hate me if i said no. i love you too much to lose you to that so i say yes.

but i will lose you to that boy. he will become your blond muscular world and i will be forgotten. all your time will be spent thinking about him and not remembering me. who fed you and raised you to the best of her abilities because she loved you. and she doesn’t know if you love her. is that too much to ask?

i choke down my tears and go through bins and bins of your old clothes. i find your princess dresses because you wanted to look pretty. of course, you’ve never even had to try to look pretty. i find your christmas pajamas the ones that we coordinated every year there’s a little stain on yours- hot chocolate that we made every christmas eve.

and you come home late but i don’t mind i don’t yell at you because how could i ever yell at you you. i’m just glad you made it home at all. i ask you how your date went and you say fine and go upstairs when will you want to talk to me again?

i blink and i’m at your graduation since when did you prefer heels over flats? and since when do you wear makeup? i wish i had more time to see you before you left each morning with that boy of yours.

that boy of yours is he going to influence where you’ll go to college? are you even going to go to college? i don’t remember talking about it with you i don’t remember the last time we talked about anything. i remember you giving me a stiff hug at your graduation and then leaving to talk to your friends.

i understand i suppose. you’re growing up i’m growing old we’re growing apart. it was bound to happen all along wasn’t it? it’s not supposed to happen this way not in our story at least. we were going to be best friends. we were best friends until you were eleven.

no i don’t want to blink again. but i do anyways. and you’re going off to college. you picked one a nice one, but he’s going there too. i wonder if you’re going to marry him. if he’s the reason we aren’t close anymore. you pack up your car and i watch you through the window.

i expect you to leave without even saying goodbye but you hesitate before getting in the drivers seat. you slowly close your trunk and walk up the front steps and ring the doorbell.

i don’t know what you’re doing i thought you wanted nothing nothing to do with me i open the door hopefully and my heart wilts as i see you standing there with tears in your perfect eyes.

you hug me as if you’ve never hugged me before and you whisper in my ear “i’m sorry” and then my heart is full again for the first time since i can’t even remember when all i know is that you’re talking to me you’re hugging me i just wish it would’ve happened sooner when we would’ve had more time before you had to leave for college.

but i guess life has a plan for you, my darling. and i know that you’re going places and that you should follow your heart and i tell her as much. she just hugs me again and lets tears roll down her cheeks and words roll off her lips.

i’m sorry i love you over and over and i am so thankful

and then she says two words two new words

thank you.

and i know that everything is as it was before. we are perfect and she is perfect and i will miss her.

I sat where I sat I didn’t want to break routine And you got upset Cuz that’s where you’d been sitting

I tried to explain, You finally complied. Then isolated yourself, And sulked in silence.

I didn’t go over and ask what’s wrong. Other people seemed concerned. Is there something wrong with me, For being so sure, That it was a tactic, To cause lines to blur?

I did nothing wrong, And I will stand by it. I wouldn’t trust honesty, Though you don’t deliberately defy it.

It’s bad but crying, Or public distress, Just seems like a way, To get the upper hand. Do you really need it? Holding us all in your palms? Have I lost track, Of who I’m really talking about?…

Who am I talking about? Who am I talking to. For all the words leaving your mouth, I hardly know you.

I know you’re not who I think you are, But I’m fine pretending if you are. I’m fine living in this fantasy, Drowning out all thoughts of reality, If it means I get to keep you. All I really want is you, Or who I think you are.

Dreaming Seeming Wanting Hunting Trying Crying Feeling Reeling Flying Whining Winning Spinning Fleeting Creeping Trapping Flapping Ending Sending Wandering Wondering Sleeping Weeping Tessa🦋

Sometimes I ponder between life and death. The choice to choose has always been given. Wait on the right or conform with the left. Believe what is seen or trust what is hidden.

I debrief through prayer and giving praise. Some days I stumble but I always raise. Aware of not conforming to the ways. Neither silver or gold could cause me to stray.

Temptation of over indulgence plagues. The word became flesh and then became bread. My belly full, so I am not mislead. I read daily to keep my spirit fed.

The things of this world may cause me to stress, But nothing can compare to Heaven’s rest.

Burning dreams shaped with will’s hammer, hissing effort, sharpened and balanced