What happens now i don’t know You turned your back and left Endless empty words they meant nothing to you

Texting and calling always led to voicemail Guess your too busy? Yet other people comment about how you’ve been Am I off your family list?

How long has it been since I last saw you You always said your too busy yet your always online Are we just out of time?

All the memories they hurt cuz you stopped showing up I barely recognize you anymore

Was all my love in vain?

The pain and hurt, screaming your name on the nights I felt lost. Thought you’d rescue me and you didn’t. I clawed at the walls of my welded cage, hoping to be released. I never dreamt that it was your hands keeping me tied up.

All the efforts into keeping you close, all the cries for your reckless help, the bleeding for the sake of your name. Well… I guess it was all in vain. You never came back, you never helped.

I thought our love story would last But you left me in the past Made me villain of the kingdom Played the heartbroken brooding victims

And you took off on a horse With a girl and no remorse Didn’t look back to the day You took off and ran away

Was I just some broken heart That you fixed and tore apart Was I just another game A pawn you wanted to claim

Now I am the witch of town And you’ve stolen my family crown Claiming your the rightful king Giving my ring to your new thing

You banished me from here In my broken sobs and tears I have cursed you and your peers For a thousand mortal years.

They say that I am bad It makes me sad, a little glad That now I see your the one in pain I guess it was all in vain.

[S.C, Bloodlines. CH 13]

[Amelya’s point of view]

(Sapphire sanctuary, main chamber)

Quill had brought Sapphire cloths, jeans and a camisole shirt. Which fit perfectly on her small figure.

Amelya was hugging the steps only a foot away from the young vampires feet.

“She’ll need much rest. Take her and her pair up to my chambers “ Sapphire spoke with power. Such a small girl, but the bass was of an immortal being. “Yes my mistress” Quill came over to help Cleo pull her up. “You have done well Amelya.” Sapphire rubbed her back as they passed toward the stairs.

[Jayden’s point of view]

Watching Cleo and Amelya move up the steps.

Monticello was quick to move toward the young looking immortal.

“What is the plan?” He asked, trying not to anger the girl. “We will talk after I see my people.” She cut it off, and started to follow Emory towards the stairs.

After they were out of ear shot. Sampson moved closer to Monticello and Warren. Nela just stood looking out at the waterfall, her two wolves listen to the conversation.

“Did you know she could do that??” Monticello questioned. “Not a clue. That girl is something else for sure. Hopefully her loyalty lies with us and not the originals” Warren added in, rubbing his temples. “She was a human a few days ago. Now she’s a vampire who can awaken originals?” Sampson looked at Jayden. “ Do you know anything about her power?” “She can read minds…. That’s all I know. This other stuff is news to me” Jayden replied honestly, knowing full well Amelya could hear his thoughts if she had enough strength. “We need to keep an eye on her.” Warren spoke next. “If she’s got more power she could be a dangerous wild card” “That girl is pure of heart. No need to worry yourself about her power or intentions.” Nela waved her boys towards the stairs. “So hopefully you all know that”

Jayden agreed, he’d seen no ill will in Amelya.

[Amelya’s point of view]

Sapphire’s room was at the far end of the sanctuary, up over the third floor. They had only encountered a hand full of vampires crossing the sanctuary.

“Our numbers are very low. Most of everyone left except for Quill and a handful are newly turned “ Emony started as the got to the room door. “Assemble everyone and bring them to the ceremony room. We will address everyone there” Sapphire bowed as Emony took off, Quill at her heels.

“How are you feeling?” Sapphire turned to Amelya, having to look up due to her height. “Ok…. Drained” Amelya replied weakly. “Have you both consecrated your union as a pair?” Amelya turned a bright red as Sapphire asked but Cleo quickly turned. “No…” Cleo said flatly, looking for anything of Sapphire’s face that would change her mind on weather she liked her. “Ok. I was gonna bleed for you. So you could heal. But it could mess up your pairing “ Sapphire stepped into the room.

The floor kept the same marble as the rest of the sanctuary. Except that it was inbeded with a combination of Sapphires, Rubys, and Emeralds. The bed was very large, silk sheets nearly the color of her hair.

“Oh ok” Cleo spoke out, running her finger over the dusty dresser and other furniture. “Been a while since you been here” “It sucks being an original…. I watched Emerald and Ruby being tossed into their caskets. Only for me to be next…..” She dropped her head, plopping down onto her bed. “I understand though…… everyone just wants to survive…..” “Still your own house put you all in boxes” Cleo helped brush off the dust on the covers. “I should be mad…. But I’m not….. I just want to see my sisters again” Sapphire rubbed away a few tears and looked up at Amelya. “Can you read my mind?”

Amelya focused on the girl but could only hear everyone around them. Fear from most of Sapphire’s people, fear from the rest of their group down by the casket…… , hope in Emony and Quill, and the wolves ascending the stairs seemed to just be along for the ride.

Nothing from Sapphire…..

“No I can’t “ “That’s what I figured…. I can read yours though.” Amelya shuffled a bit. “Your not sure about yourself, why you can raise us. Why you have this connection to us” “Your right….” Amelya said. “You are also head over heals with Cleo” Sapphire giggled a bit. “But you also think Nela is a very sexy wolf”

Nela stepped into the room and Cleo sighed.

“She is surely a fine specimen “ Cleo added in winking at the lost wolf girl. “Where you all talking about me?” She laughed. “See I am kinda jealous…” Sapphire looked at the girls. “You all seem really good friends” “Weirdly enough we only just met them yesterday “ Cleo nodded her head toward Nela and the goons who stayed outside the room. “I guess trauma brings people together “ Nela added in jumping onto the bed and letting the dust fly into the air. “Welp I’m hungry now” “Me too” Cleo said gazing at Amelya. “None of that!” Sapphire’s cheeks turned a bit red with Amelya’s. “Cleo you are ridiculous” “So you all don’t eat anything food wise?” Nela asked. “Only blood” “We’ll that’s nasty” Nela laughed. “Welp. We might need to go get some grub” Amelya tried to stand up, but quickly fell into Cleo’s arms. “Rest” Sapphire used her pointer finger like a mom. “Nela and the wolves can bring you back something” “Guess we should all leave her be” Cleo added in, sneaking a kiss as the other two headed to the door. “My people need to know I am alive” Sapphire was met by Quill and Emony as the door opened. “Sleep well beautiful “ Cleo whispered closing the door.

[Cleo’s point of view]

They all found themselves splitting up. Nela and the other two wolves headed for the front of the sanctuary. Cleo met up with Jayden in the ceremony balcony, with the other men.

“Guess you figured she was safe without you? Or did you leave the muts to protect her?” Warren questioned as she sat down next to Jayden.

Instead of a retort, she just ignored him.

“There’s not nearly thirty vampires down there” Jayden changed the subject before stuff got more hostile. “We expected numbers here” Sampson mumbled honestly. “We don’t have numbers, but we surely have an original on our side thanks to Amelya “ Monticello added in. “Maybe we have more to learn before we get the numbers” “I don’t trust those wolves or the originals. Very skeptical of your girly too” Warren glared at Cleo. “Probably because your a lone act. Doesn’t work well with others” Cleo hissed as Sapphire walked out on center stage.

Instead of the common cloths from her room. Sapphire was adorned with a very large sapphire pendant, a dress that matched it nearly perfectly and heels.

“House Sapphire!” She shouted out to the small crowd.

Everyone seemed unsure of who she was.

“I am your maiden. Sapphire the original.” She smiled as a few people gasped. “Your numbers are down, I hear hunters are to blame. Fighters will be needed in the coming days to protect us.”

A few people stood up, bowing at their seats. Quill and Emony bowed by her side on the stage. More started to join the bow, once they saw Emony do it.

“The people are hers” Warren mumbled.

“After that. We will be moving out to find my sister Ruby” “You will leave us?” A few in the audience questioned. “We will all be going. My father is close, he will be coming to find and destroy the lines that didn’t side with him” Sapphire watched a bit of panic spread like fire across the small crowd.

“May I speak Mistress!” Sampson’s voice boomed across the room. She answered with a bow. “We are all from house Emerald.”

Sampson pointed to everyone on the balcony. Even though Warren was actually an international criminal type and assassin for hire.

“Our head of house brought Onyx back from his prison with the help of a very powerful witch. They will soon be moving this way if our assumptions are correct. He’s not interested in taking prisoners, after killing two of our council seats.” Warren scoffed. “Those old hags couldn’t fight anyway” he added in. “We will all help fight the hunters and will be there to find house Ruby” Sampson sat down after, nodding back to Sapphire.

“As our new friends just stated. All of us vampires are going to be moving towards war. Together we are unstoppable “

Black smoke poured into the room from the entryway. Springing together into the center of the crowd. A head formed above her subjects, a face she hadn’t seen in many a century.

“Sapphire!” Onyx chuckled as the crowd fell silent. “How are you daughter? Never mind that. Wow not many vampires in here.” The head shook around, eyes falling to the balcony. “Of course you all are here. Tisk tisk…. Sampson. Even brought your assassin buddy.” “What do you want?” Sapphire shouted as the wind inside started to whip around. “Join me. We can be a family again. Rule the whole vampire and human world with an iron fist” “I refuse “ “Well have fun trying to save Emerald. She’s traveling with me. Going to get your oldest brother.” His head continued to turn looking around. “You don’t have a chance, just leave this foolishness and join us.” “We will never let you take the world” “Well I hope you enjoy the hunters as they rip your sanctuary apart”

Then silence, the smoke just gone. Like it was never there in the first place.

“Warriors to the opening of the sanctuary. Everyone else stay here. “

In a split second half the entire crowd was running for the doors.

“We need to find Amelya “ Jayden whispered to Cleo. “She is in Sapphire’s room” Cleo answered. “We need to help them hold the line outside. Before we worry about your pretty girly “ Warren leaped off the balcony a smile on his face. “Lord help those hunters” Monticello shook his head, standing up and following behind the assassin. Sampson in toe behind them” “Make sure you secure Amelya!” Sapphire shouted to Cleo. “Onyx might have had other motives “

Cleo and Jayden swiftly followed orders. Zipping off the balcony and out into the foyer. Then headed toward the third floor, only to be met by a hearty laugh.

A barrier of water sat just outside of the door. But it was wide open. Amelya lay lifeless on the bed, Onyx’s witch just beside her. Rubbing her face and hair.

“Get your hand off her witch!” Cleo screamed, smacking the water with her fists. It didn’t falter. “Your quiet the pesky bunch of little brats” She laughed, trailing her fingertips down her neck. “ I could end her right now. Save Onyx the headache “ “Your gonna die by my hands I swear it!” Jayden rushed the wall, only to slip into it. “Now what pretty?” The witch slipped her fingers away and slipped back toward the water wall with Jayden trapped inside. “Don’t hurt them…..” She cried out. “Bleed her now…… and come with me” The witch let a small hole form in the water wall.

Cleo could feel and see Jayden screaming no. As she swept slowly into the room, the water still open behind her.

“Take her blood with your own fangs. Then we will be off to Onyx” “Why does he need her blood?” “If you don’t , she dies. I’ll use all her blood then” The witch smiled as Cleo moved to the beds edge.

It was the pairing ritual they hadn’t done. Passion between lovers of the vampire community was written and conceived through blood. A blood oath to pair.

Cleo wiped away a single tear from Amelya’s eyes. She was awake, frozen in some sort of spell. Hearing and seeing it all. Cleo started to weep. Kneeling next to her head.

“I love you, please forgive me” She whispered, planting a single kiss on her lovers lips.

Before she turned Amelya’s neck and sunk fangs in deep. Each of them moaned for a second, sucking her blood felt like a surge of power was entering her body. It was heavenly, like nothing she’d tasted before.

“Cleo!” Nela was practically naked. Falling back into human form to fit through the wall of water. “Bye” The witch hissed pulling the very smoke around her and Cleo and disappearing.

[Amelya’s point of view]

It was the ritual….. the bite….

Nothing before had prepared her for that. Passion and need, yet now replaced with sadness. Tears flowed like rivers, yet no sound left her mouth.

Nela was off on the floor, Jayden some ways behind her. Yet Cleo was gone….. Paired to her and gone.

“I guess it was all in vein” She wept.

It doesn’t end with the line, because it got away from me and I couldn’t make it work. It was heavily inspired by it though so I’m posting it under the prompt anyway.

Anyway, this isn’t my best work, but better to post something than nothing! Here it is

———

Nancy grinned sharply as she looked at the crowd in front of her.

They were joking and messing around with their neighbors. Once upon a time, Nancy would have seen that as their weakness - they didn’t take things seriously enough, she thought - but now she looked at them, with the dirt on their faces, the armor on their bodies, and the weapons in their hands, and she knew they were ready to fight.

Their numbers may be much smaller, but each and every one of them was worth at least a hundred of their enemy, no matter how light-hearted and playful they seemed now. Nancy couldn’t be more proud; she’d trained them well.

Only because of her superior senses did she hear the nearly the sound of crunching leaves in the distance so early.

She shouted a command, and the crowd in front of her was silent and standing in neat, orderly rows within mere seconds, awaiting her next orders.

A few moments, and everyone else could hear it - and everyone else could feel it - the approach of the enemy.

Nancy looked at the faces of her army. The faces ranged from smiling, excited ones to pale, frightened ones, but they all had one thing in common: a look of steely determination.

She knew all of her soldiers would fight to the death for their village; for their legacy; for their cause.

——————

And fight to the death they did.

Each fighter on her side was worth a hundred of the enemy, but that didn’t mean much when they only numbered around three hundred, and they were faced with many tens of thousands.

They’d known from the start it would be a losing battle. Nancy sighed as her soldiers began to fall one by one; they were each surrounded by the bodies of their enemies, but each one that fell was replaced by another. There was no ground to be made when faced with that overwhelming sea.

And soon she was the only one standing. She looked at her allies, who lay bleeding, dead, and dying on the ground, and at the enemy, who were exploring their newly conquered lands.

Nancy sighed, wishing, as she always did in the aftermath, that she could have had any other job. But she was the angel sent to train - but never to fight amongst - the Lost Causes for their Battles That Couldn’t be Won. She gave them the glory they wanted in death, but glory wouldn’t raise the dead.

She looked at the bodies littering the battlefield, and she shook her head with a small, self-deprecating smile at the thought of her own foolishness - because for a moment, despite herself, she’d dared to hope.

She sighed, turned her back, and left the shadows of yet another war behind.

Watching my people get slaughtered, I shake my head, further doubting the possibility that we could ever be free. All we want is equal treatment and equal rights. The government has been oppressing us since it became corrupted and stole too much power.

I always encouraged the people to be peaceful about it, but… was I wrong?

To fight fire with fire is rhetorical. Redundant. Nothing is ever accomplished through a means of violence. Sure, we could gain what we want, but at what cost? Thousands of deaths? Casualties? And then what? We’d be ridiculed for such behavior. It would only create fear against us, but it never would allow us to live peacefully.

Turning my head with a grimace, I sigh, opening my eyes to stare blankly at the bloodied ground beneath me.

So many people. So many sacrifices, and for what? To get nowhere? All we’re doing is dying out. 

I look up to see Verity running towards me, a worried look gracing her features. I stand straight, glancing around to make sure we were still unnoticed. As I notice a soldier approaching, whom had not yet noticed us, my eyes widen and I yank Verity down the moment she reaches me. We duck behind a destroyed remnant of a building, holding our breath until the soldier passed. The moment he did, I look to her, searching her eyes for any good news. “…We lost that side, didn’t we?” I sigh, dropping my head dejectedly.

My quarry is met with silence, answering the question clearly. I set my jaw, looking over the destroyed part of a wall to see what fighting was going on ahead. I looked to the ground in front of me, before grabbing the gun I had at my side and standing to my feet. The moment I turn, Verity grabs my wrist, forcing me to stop. 

“Where are you going? We’re losing. We can’t-“ She swallowed, forcing herself to stay calm. “We can’t lose you too.”

I stare at her for a moment, before gazing off to the fighting. “…Yeah. We are losing. But I won’t abandon them when we need each other most.”

“But what for? You’ll just get yourself killed! Then what?”

A tense silence once again falls over us, and I pull my wrist free from her grip with a remorseful expression. “…If we give up now, nothing will change. It’d only get worse. But if we continue fighting, we’ll all die.” I shake my head, sending her one last sorrowful look. “I guess it was all in vain.”

I don’t know why we fought All I know was the chaos it brought

And I don’t know what we did to create pain I guess it was all in vain

I stare. The wind rushes past me, bringing with the smell of of plastic and wood burning, and I can’t think. Burning, burning. My minds empty, all I can do is stare. I feel like I’m floating, removed. Above this burning world. “My son”. The thought slips in and suddenly time starts moving faster. I spin around to the shadows behind me. “I know your there” I scream. “I know your there. You told me I had enough time! You told me…” “what did I say?” The void calls. “You said I had enough time to save him. You told me if I found the prophecy for Them, I could save him” The void chuckles. “You should know better my dear. I made no promises.” I turn. There’s no use arguing. Before I know it I’m running through the city, my shirt over my nose. Smoke filling my eyes. I’m screaming. “Levi!” “Levi!” “Levi!” I can’t hear anything, it’s just one solid block of noise. A great mix of screaming and crackling fire. I run up and down the streets, looking, searching for that blue flannel. I run past the neighborhood park. Nothing. The school nothing. The library. The market. Max’s house. Everywhere. I’ve looked everywhere twice now. Nothing. I can’t breath. I run some more, coming up on the town square, I stop. My eyes are burning. I can’t breath. I can’t see. My son. Levi. There’s a crash behind me. The old apartment building is collapsing. Buildings are falling to pieces around me. I have to get our, but my son. This town. It was supposed to be my safe place. I brought my son to grow up here. This place. My son. Levi. We spent 12 years here, safe, before They found us. My visions going black around the edges. My son. Levi. I need to get out. The void chuckles again. “How could you do this? My son. You said I had time. I found Them the prophecy. I did what you asked. You said I could save him.” I plead. “Everything I did was for a false hope. You monster! All of you” a spin around. “I was just a pawn. There was never going to be enough time was there? Everything I did was in vain. My son. Levi.” The black creeps further into my vision and I’m out.

There were no young women in Greil village. Sure, there were elderly woman and even some girls, young and innocent. But young women, the vital and pretty kind, were nowhere to be seen.

Many old stories, as old as the village itself, attributed this phenomenon to a witch who lived in the village. According to the stories whispered through tight lips, the witch would lure and murder these young women in order to leech them of their beauty and youth. Over time, in fear of being ensnared in her grasps, many left during their childbearing years, only to return when they were old and well beyond their years of beauty. Whether these stories were true or not, villagers chose to venture the side of cautiousness.

The only woman to ever reside in the city went simply by Evangeline. Naturally, due to her unearthly beauty and ageless aura, it was believed that this woman was the witch mentioned in stories. Because of this, many avoided her entirely and let her be all alone in that little cottage of hers in the forest. Being the historian I was, the story of Greil village fascinated me enough to inspire a thesis dedicated solely to the Greil witch herself. This was why I sat here today, in a chair made of rotting wood across from an identical chair that seated the woman herself: Evangeline.

Her eyes mirrored and glossy, unseeing, and uninterested. She was so focused on looking out of the single window of her tiny cottage, that if I were to reach out and press my fingers to the pupil of her eye, I’m sure I would get no response in return.

Though stunning, far more ethereal than any woman should be, there was something haunting about her beauty. Her cheekbones and brows, high and regal framed a pair jade green eyes that glittered like sea glass. From her head sprung golden threads of hair that sat on her shoulders in tangled curls.

Pretty as she was, her beauty seemed frozen in time, like a picture destined never to age. It was as though she were the prettiest flower picked from the garden of Eden and pressed between the pages of book- a preserved yet unliving beauty.

“E-Evangeline?”, I asked, and my voice came out hoarse and meek as though I hadn’t spoken in years.

She didn’t look up to acknowledge me, but I saw her head cock ever so slightly to the side in curiosity. I cleared my throat and tried again.

“You are Evangeline, aren’t you?” Finally, she pursed her ruby lips into a half smile.

“A maiden as fair as you shouldn’t be in this village, she replied, voice smooth and melodic.

“I’m only visiting. Why shouldn’t I be here”, I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

She laughed, the sound of it echoing through the house and pulsating under my skin.

“It’s not safe for you…”, she sang lifting one finger and wagging it in the air, “there’s a bad, bad witch in this village who can’t be trusted”.

Chills ran down my spine at the taunting tone in her words, but I forced my face to remain neutral.

My hand hovered over the notepad in my hand, the pen so tightly gripped in my hand that my knuckles turned white.

“This witch…is she not just a story? A fable meant to explain a rare anomaly in population statistics?”, I pressed, leaning forward to ask her the question.

The second the words spilled from my lips I saw a ripple of anger spread across her eyes. She turned to me slowly, mossy eyes jumping with barely contained emotion that flickered from anger to amusement, then back again. Her grin widened to such a degree that her beautiful face became distorted in a garish clownlike way.

“All stories come from somewhere, love. There’s truth in even the darkest of tales,” she crooned.

I jotted her words down quickly in my notepad, wishing I had brought my voice recorder yet again. But alas, it sat at the bottom of my bag, battery dead despite it being fully charged this morning. I wished desperately in that moment to capture the way she spoke her words, with that dark trill of seduction and teasing.

“I see, well what-“

But she cut off my words by placing a hand on my knee. She leaned in closer, and her fragrance filled my senses. Something sweet and regal like roses mingled with the earthy scent of dirt.

“Tell me something, dear. A question in exchange for two more questions,” she soothed.

I nodded my head and leaned closer, intoxicated by her scent.

“Do you think that I am pretty?”, she asked, tilting her head to the side.

I frowned, surprised at her question. Did I think she was pretty? Of course I did, she was the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen.

“Y-yes you are. You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen,” I said softly, my words dampened by the lucid state her gaze put me under.

“But don’t you think...”, she began, reaching out to touch my cheek with her fingertips, “don’t you think I’d be so much prettier with blue eyes? Sapphire like yours.” Her voice was husky and sweet, a lullaby wrapped in a layer of seduction that pulled me deeper in her orbit.

Her question immediately sent a strange spike of alarm at the back of my mind, but it was too far away and too faint to pay attention to. I liked her green eyes, but I couldn’t deny that my eyes, which had always been my best feature, would look so much more stunning on her face than mine.

“I suppose,” I murmured, my eyes feeling heavy and drowsy. My grip loosened on the notebook and the pen, and I heard them clattering to the ground, the pen rolling somewhere beneath her chair.

“Two more questions, dear,” she reminded me.

I wracked my brain for words to string together to form a question, but my thoughts felt cloudy and jumbled. Finally, a question found its way to my lips.

“So is it true then? Are you the witch in the stories that steals beauty and youth?”, I asked, my words slurring.

Her smile broadened impossibly wider, and she nodded. By now I have started to see her in double, twin bobbing heads of perfection.

“Witch is a foul word though. I prefer to be called enchantress,” she replied smoothly. “One more question”, she added.

I pursed my lips and let my gaze fall to the open notebook lying on the floor. The list of questions I was meant to ask lines the page in blue ink, but one word, set apart from the rest, covers the bottom half in bold capital letters. I’ve circled it so many times that the paper has begun to tear and wear down around the ink: Why?

“W-why did you do it? Kill all those women?,” I asked, my eyelids fluttering shut before my question is complete.

As I lost consciousness, I heard her mummering her answer in my ear, warm breath against my skin.

“I wanted to be the prettiest, my dear. In a way you could say, I guess it was all in vain”

I wrung my scarf in my hands as I sat on an armchair in my bedroom, the colourful plush cushion wedged behind my sweaty back. I had finally managed the courage to announce to my husband, Fawad, that I would start working as a biomedical lab technician again. I had gotten an interview offer. Twelve years of marriage and two children later, I was tired of the same routine. I wanted my career back.

Fortunately for me, Pakistani society dictates whether a woman is successful in life based on her marital status and whether or not she has kids. In that field, my ball was in the park, but I was getting restless. I wanted to move around and contribute to my future, I wanted to know that the years of difficult exams and greying hairs wasn’t for nothing. So I found the courage and discussed my plan with Fawad.

“No.” He said, legs stretching out on the bed.

“Why? I studied years and went to university, don’t you think I should put that knowledge to-“

“No need. I provide for this family, you have no need to go out and mingle with strangers to earn.”

“Fawad, you make me sound like a prostitute.” He was being unreasonable. Mingling with strangers?

He sat up looked me dead in the eye, “Safiyah, ghar mein baitho” (just sit in the house)

I shut up then because I knew, his tone told me so. I wouldn’t get anywhere in convincing him to let me go. I had tried many a time to argue a fair point, the result ended up being the same though, I had to give up. Better clean up the kitchen for the bed, I walked down the stairs.

After our marriage, I wanted to keep my last name, Safiyah Qasim, but in the end my name did change to Safiyah Fawad. I didn’t resent him for that though. I romanticized the situation in my head so much that I forgot it was a sin to change ones last name after marriage in Islam, the reason I wished to keep my former surname in the first place.

My children, a girl aged 5 and a boy of 11, the apples of my eyes, my babies. Khadijah and Yahya were such good kids, they were responsible and took care of themselves and each other. I thought they’d be able to handle themselves if I was away at work, Fawad worked from home anyways.

A commotion was in progress as I reached the last step. “Mama! Yahya keeps pulling my hair!” I was pulled out of my thoughts by my daughter Khadijah, teary eyed and dressed in her ‘Dora The Explorer’ pyjamas with one pigtail wilting from its usual upright position. I peaked into the living room after repositioning the pigtail to glare at a lazily lounging Yahya as he ducked behind his PSP holding in his grin. That boy acted even younger than his sister sometimes. Maybe I had convinced myself that my kids were more mature than they actually were.

I moved to wash the dishes in my kitchen, I looked at my hands. They had turned rough and prickly, unlike the softness they maintained before marriage. The amount of dishes you wash significantly increases when you have 2 kids and a man to look after. Maybe I was fooling myself into thinking I needed more from life. Why couldn’t I be happy how I was? I have my kids, a good husband, and honestly waking up for 5 am hospital shifts doesn’t sound as appealing as it did when I was 22 and a fresh graduate.

Maybe I was meant to grow my potential in other fields. I was still learning as a mother and housewife of 12 years. I had studied, hard. Staying at home didn’t mean I had wasted my potential to become a world famous biomedical tech. or that my husband oppressed me. Since I probably would have gone to the job interview regardless of what he said.

For others, I had wasted my years of studies, my efforts were going down the drain. If it meant working on myself and loving my family as effectively as I think myself possible, then believe what you want, I guess it was all in vain.