“Tonight will be my last sunset. You will never see me again.” I whispered under my breath.

“What’s wrong, boy?” Maddie asked me, giving me a comforting rub on my head. I leaned into her scratch, staring off into the bright, pink swirls.

“I’ll send someone down to take care of you. So you won’t have to watch the sky alone.” I promised.

Maddie’s eyebrows furrowed together and I stared up into her blue eyes, shining bright with the last bit of sunlight.

“Everyone tucks beneath the horizen eventually. It gives the stars a chance to show off.”

“What do you mean, buddy?”

I gave her a lick on the cheek, “It means that when I’m gone there will be more to come. And those are the things that you can face without me.”

“Rodger?”

“I helped you fight the battles you couldn’t fight on your own. Now you can fight those battles without me.”

I shifted my gaze to the sunset once again. Golden sprinkles and pink frosting. Sweet orange highlights.

One last sunset.

Together.

“Tonight will be our last sunset. You will never see me again,” Luke whispered, his gaze never leaving the setting sun. If this was it then maybe it was for the best. If Luke was lost maybe I should let him find his own way home. Maybe he doesn’t want to be found. “If it’s what you want, then fine,” I said, keeping my gaze on the colorful clouds, the setting sun in the background. If he wanted to leave, if he wanted to travel the world then who was I to stop him. He turned his head his soft grey eyes meeting mine, “Claire, I’m sorry,” his eyes only grew softer as he spoke. I nodded not wanting to speak, knowing if I would it might ruin everything, “It’s too late for sorry,” I tried to sound cold but his grey eyes always managed to have me in control of my anger. “Okay, then I’m doing this for you,” his tone was almost hard, but it would never reach what he wanted, not even when he tried. I rolled my eyes, sighing, “Oh, please save me the lies. . . Your doing this for you.” Luke sighed, “I really mean it- for you,”he looked at me quickly, his eyes flashing fear. He let his brown hair fall over his eyes, as he stare at his hands. It was over I couldn’t hold it in. It’s crazy to me to love him but sometimes you love things that you just can’t explain. “Luke, I can’t take it anymore. Do you know how may times you’ve given up. . .how many times you’ve ran from your past? I know that yesterday was my fault, I never meant to make you feel that way. I never meant to embarrass you. I’m still learning. I’m just starting to crawl.” Luke looked down, a tear fell from his cheek, “Claire, I know all that. Do you think want to run? I hate it. I want to try-I want to stay-“ “Then stay.” He sighed, “It’s not that simple.” “Your the one that’s making it difficult,” I said before he finished his sentence. Luke could stay, I would help him. He just needed to stay. He needed to admit he was scared. At least I could, at least I could say when I needed him. Even if he made my heart break at least I could handle the pain. “This is hurting me,” I whispered, “I know I’ve let you down but don’t make my mistakes. It hurts in the end, when I realize I’ve let you fall.”

Luke didn’t answer, I could hear his sobs as he tried to control it. I felt my chest tighten I wanted to feel guilty, but I couldn’t force it. He’d brought this on himself. When the sobbing turned to a more peaceful cry, I spoke. “I’m sorry. It’s just I need you. I’ll always need you. Maybe you are found. .. I’m sorry if I make you feel lost. I don’t mean to.” Luke’s eyes met mine, “I need you too,” he wiped his tears away with the back of his hand. “Then stay,” I whispered, my eyes never leaving his. Luke let out a shaky breath, “I. . .can’t. I need to find my way. Even if it’s you I need, I still need to do this.” I felt a tear slide down my cheek. This was my fault wasn’t it? I’d tried so hard to be a good friend, but I’m not. I deserved every tear I cry. “Luke,” my tears started pouring down my cheeks. Luke came closer wrapping his arm around my shoulder. It felt less alone to have him next to me. It felt warm and safe. So safe. Even if he was leaving. And even if I had caused myself the pain. He would always be there, wouldn’t he. “Please,” I sobbed as he held me, “Don’t go. I’m sorry. I’ll say it everyday for the rest of my life, if you just stay.” “I can’t say it again Claire. . .I can’t.” His voice was soft, his tears choking him as he spoke. And there was my answer, there was nothing I could say to make him stay. I took a deep breath, the sun was setting behind me, “You’ve made me smile when I never thought I would laugh again. You caused me the worst pain when I thought I would never feel again. Even when you give up, even when you leave, I still love you.” Luke let his arm fall off my shoulder, the cold wind making shivers run down my back. “I break your heart. I let you down and you always find a way to still love me. Why?”

I closed my eyes, this wasn’t supposed to happen. But it was and I’m done holding it in. I’m done lying. “Even through all the pain you’ve caused me. You’ve managed to be the only one to bring me back. . .And I mean really back.” Luke pulled me close, letting my chin rest on his shoulder, the cool wind blowing my hair into my face. And I cried. Letting myself feel what I had made Luke feel. He had felt lost. I had told him to find his way. He said he needed help and I told him I couldn’t help. I let him down countless times. And yet he never stopped coming back. I continued to cry, letting my tears soaked his shoulder. Not because I was losing my best friend. But because he felt lost, and I hadn’t done anything to make him feel found. I had only told him that he was wrong. And that’s not what he needed. I lifted my head off of his shoulder. His eyes were red, and his face stained deeply with tears. “If you come back, and your still lost. I’ll help you,” I choked out through sobs. I could see a small smile appear on his lips “Thank you.” I fell back into his arms, holding him so tightly I almost felt like if I let go he would fall.

“Tonight will be our last sunset,” Killian’s lips murmur against mine. “After this, you’ll never see me again.”

I bury my head in his neck and cradle his arms in mine to hide the hot, fat tears rolling down my face. “I don’t understand why you have to go. We… we could still have it all. You know…” I sniff, stopping snot from dripping into my mouth. “The w-white picket fence, and the big house, and the kids.” My voice breaks on ‘kids.’

“I know, sunshine,” he whispers, kissing my head. “I’m so sorry. You know I don’t want to do this. But it’s what’s best for you. You don’t deserve me… or, what’s left of me, at least. If I could, I would give you all the pieces of my broken heart, because in truth, they never belonged to me. They were always yours. But you don’t understand. You will never understand.”

“How?” I demand, feeling a hint of anger. “How could you do this to me? I thought it was forever.” Killian brushes a tear off the apple of my cheek. “It was Stella and Killian. Killian and Stella. Or, it was supposed to be…”

“I’m sorry, Stel. It’s just…”

“What?” I spit, pulling away from his touch and immediately regretting it, feeling goosebumps ripple across my skin. “What’s so important that you have to break me like this? I thought… I thought you loved me.”

“Stella, stop,” he pleads, regret shining like stars in his eyes. “I do love you, which is why I have to do this. I’m protecting you, you see? I have to leave… all I’ll do is hurt you.”

“I don’t… I can’t…” Sadness pulses through me, sending tears gushing down my cheeks so quickly that it’s hard to breathe.

“Come here,” Killian whispers, so softly I can barely hear it. But I oblige, letting myself, a snotty, wet mess, to sink into his familiar arms.

Letting him embrace me one last time.

“You know, someday, I’m going to be up there. In the stars. I hope it won’t be soon, but you know, I’m just so amazing, God might not want to wait to meet me!” His joke goes right through me. I feel like a ghost. “You won’t be able to see me, but I’ll be watching you. When you miss me, you can just look up there and you’ll be looking right at me. Whoever you’re with… a husband, kids, I’ll always be there for you. No matter what. Cause I love you, Stel. I always have.”

I want to protest, tell him there will never be another guy, but when I try to, it comes out a meek gurgle because of the tears choking me.

He tilts my chin up, his beautiful eyes taking in all the angles of my face one last time. And he slowly wipes my tears away before he smashes his lips to mine, one last time.

It’s one of the sad kisses, lacking of all the electric passion that they used to overflow with. It’s silver clouds on a rainy day, waking up in the middle of the night, the eerie color of gravestones.

But most of all, it’s goodbye.

Killian whispers that word against me just before he pulls away, shedding a few tears of his own. He turns around, walking away from me. I want to call him back, but the words get stuck in my throat. Through the wind-whipped hair in my face, I can only just make out the silhouette of his beautiful body fading away into the sunset.

And just like that, I can feel my heart changing. It’s turning black, a stony, hard black, like a rock. The last thing I feel is all my emotions seeping out of me like a river, carrying the ability to love away from me on a permanent vacation.

That part of me is gone. And it’s never coming back.

The patio is a mess. Like usual, Andy’s grilling burgers. The kids are blowing bubbles and jumping rope, shrieking excitedly.

But I’m sitting by the fire, remembering those words he spoke to me twelve long years ago.

‘When you miss me, you can just look up there and you’ll be looking right at me. Whoever you’re with… a husband, kids, I’ll always be there for you. No matter what.’

So I do. I look up at the stars, and it’s almost like Killian’s smiling at me.

Almost.

“Alexander, come back to sleep.” Eliza appeared in Alexander’s office, emerging from a shadow. “I have an early meeting out of town.” He replied. “It’s still dark outside.” She walked towards him “I know. I just need to write something down.” “Why do you write like you’re running out of time?” She asked, putting her arms on his shoulders. “Come back to bed, that would be enough.” “Shh. I’ll be back before you know I’m gone.” Alexander assured her. “Come back to sleep.” Eliza pushed. “This meetings at dawn.” “Well I’m going back to sleep.” She gave up. “Hey.” He grabbed her hand. “Best of wives and best of women.” Eliza walked away and Alexander cursed under his breath. “Today will be out last sunrise. You will never see me again.”

“Tonight will be our last sunset. You will never see me again.”

“Oh my god, you are so dramatic, you know that?” Bubbly laughter escaped my throat as I began pushing each of my cuticles back with my thumbnail.

Alec hovered above both me and the table as I kept my focus solely on my nails. The clanging of the bell set atop the door broke my concentration, as my next joke was interrupted my various screams and giggles entering inside the shop.

Sitting down across from me, Alec rested his forearms across the cool wood. “Bee, come on, I’m being serious.” As I met his gaze, a heaviness fell on my shoulders.

It wasn’t more than a moment before the realization crashed into the forefront of my mind.

“You got in.”

As I stared out at the worn down brick buildings, I glanced at each one with a new set of eyes. Snapshots of memories of my former teenage youth flashed before my eyes.

“When do you-“

More realization.

“Why did you wait until today to tell me?” Wiping the crumbs from my lips, I watched as his eyes paced back and forth, as if he was determining to hurt my feelings with the truth or if he’d attempt to comfort me with a lie.

Watching as his hair began to stick to his forehead, he let out a long sigh.

“Because if I’d been honest with you, it would’ve changed the dynamic of our friendship between us.” Alec and I had grown up together and this was the first lie he’d ever told me.

“You don’t think this news isn’t changing our friendship now?” Alec and I had been best friends since that fateful day in sixth grade when I transitioned into becoming a woman, unbeknownst to me. He’d acted as everything I could want in a friend through the years.

“If I’d told you earlier, you would’ve done something like-“ His voice caught in his throat, causing him to shake the thought away.

“Like what?” I could hear the accusation in my curt response. I tried to remain civil. I didn’t want to loose my patience in front of all these strangers.

Sighing, he placed his hand over mine, in that almost brother-type way. “Knowing you, you’d want to cram in a million trips we could take within the month. Like you’d want all of these memories of us now, because after I leave, my existence will fade from your memories.”

“Alec, I could never forget y-“

Speaking over me, he continued on. “Beatrice, I don’t want to end tonight with tears and unresolved feelings. I want to simply just be here with you. Like we’ve always been.”

Refusing to accept this new reality, I pushed myself away from the table, motioning over towards the bistro counter. “I’m getting another refill on my coffee. Do you want me to grab you another?”

Shaking his head, I watched as he pulled out his phone. Glancing at the screen, he quickly placed his phone back into his pocket.

Returning to the table a few minutes later, I attempted to steer the conservation back towards a better place.

“Are you excited?” I’d let my frustration and jealously get the better of me earlier. I needed to remind myself that we were only friends. As frustrating as that led me to feel sometimes.

Smirking, he gave a coy smile. “Terrified, actually.”

“You, Mr. Alec Swanson. Terrified?”

Trading his sarcastic tone for seriousness, he bore his stare into mine. “I really am scared though, Bee.” Glancing outside, the sunset was beginning to come into full bloom. The view from here allowed for only a sliver of the ocean to be seen, but the full view of violet and rose, folding overtop the coolness of the turquoise water was always a true sight to behold.

“Seattle isn’t like here. It rains all the time, and they have weird accents there.” Peering at the steam coming from my re-filled cup, I glanced over towards his fingers. Over and over, each finger hit the table, as if he were practicing his piano again. It had become an absentminded habit from when he first began his proper training.

“Not to mention that it’s halfway across the country from here.” The weight that statement carried was almost too much to bare.

He must’ve realized how close to breaking I was. Or maybe he was ready to break too and needed to be strong. Another brotherly habit. Taking one final glance out the window, he reached for his jacket. “Come on.”

Reaching for my purse, I stood alongside him, “Where are we going?”

“To see this last sunset together. Because you’re never going to see me after tonight.”

“Alec!”

Lacing his fingers with mine, he pulled me into his chest, giving a kiss to the side of my head. “Kidding. You’re gonna have to deal with me for many, many years.”

Thank god.

“Tonight will be our last sunset. You will never see me again,” she says softly. I see her eyes start to water, mine do the same. We stand on the sand, staring into the vast horizon. “Please don’t leave.” I whisper, stroking her hair. “I’m sorry, my love. I have to. Your life is on the line as long as I’m around. I’m doing this to protect you, I couldn’t bear to see you die because of me.” “I’d rather die by your side, than live a life without you!” I cry. She smiles sadly, and caresses my face. She pulls me in for a soft, bittersweet kiss. We part, and I sit down, pulling her to sit with me. The ocean gently flows over our feet, and I think back to all the time we spent here. I refuse to believe this is our last time together, but I enjoy the moment that we have. We soak in each other’s presence and the sky slowly turns from pink, to orange, to red, to purple, to dark blue, and it’s time to leave. We look at each other knowingly. I see tears starting to build up in her eyes, “Fear not, my love. I have hope in my heart that we will meet again. Somehow, someday, we will see another sunset. Goodnight, my sunshine.” I dry her tears and pull her in for a final kiss.

“But I’ll always remember this.” She whispered into her lovers ear, drawing them close and savoring the embrace. One last embrace was all they could share as the bombs neared the ground.

"Tonight will be our last sunset. You will never see me again. Or the night." he whispers in her ear as the sun dips behind the horizon.

A chill rushes through her body. Never seeing the stars or moon again? How could that be? It should be impossible. But she knows him, and she knows nothing is impossible for him, especially pertaining to the night.

As the night surrounds her, she feels his presence slip away from her. For good. No goodbyes, or nice knowing you. No. He tends to travel unnoticed and invisible, even to those he knows.

Except she will never know him again. No matter how many years she lives, she will never see another sunset again.

Or him.

“Tonight will be our last sunset. You will never see me again.” The strange ethereal inky cloud of smoke said in an echoey underwater voice. “What? Why do you say that? Why are you always so dramatic?” The small unusual girl sitting next to it asked, almost flippant, trying to hide her concern. Her white hair shone gold in the sunset, her large pupil-less eyes reflected pearlescent. Her desert tan skin glowed youthfully. “I haven’t seen you in a century and that’s the first thing you say to me?” She said, irritated at her old friend. “I don’t have anyone left.” It replied. “They’ve all gone.” “How is that possible? It seemed like there were so many just last century.” “You forget how short their lives are. My dear, it’s already 2022. Many of the new gods have been in power since the industrial revolution. And some who have already vanished again in the face of advancement, living hardly longer than a human. There are so few of us left and our people keep turning away from us, or dying before sharing our cultures. It was only a matter of time.” The girl looked incredibly somber. Her age became entirely questionable. No little girl had the capacity to look that thread bare and tired and sad. “Where do we go when we die? I’ve often asked myself, but do you ever wonder Aezo?” The little, but not young, girl asked. Aezo was silent for a minute. “I’ve spoken with Anubis before. He believes we cannot be created or destroyed, not truly. We are beings of energy. He believes if a god ‘dies’, another god is ‘born’, or is gaining in influence. I saw my own brother blink out of existence suddenly. He had no more believers, his version of life once elevated to the point of worship and adoration was antiquated, while humans are born into the church of technology, and television, and instant gratification, I don’t even have enough power to take a physical form anymore. I’m old, I used to know all the gods. Now there are too many to count and many I knew are now divided into thousands of pointless and useless demi-gods, and I am almost with them. Let me pass on. I’m too tired to care anymore.” “I forgot how depressing you death gods were.” Said the girl in mock disappointment. She looked incredibly forlorn. Her youthful skin had gained wrinkles and cracks like the dunes and dried mud of the desert the light tan color invoked. “You asked me a serious question about death. You do know HOW old I am, right? I’m not like these new gods, or even like you. I’m more…singular. Death is all I think about.” “So why, if death is still so prevalent, are you fading?” “One of the core rituals surrounding my existence is now considered corpse defilement. It’s socially unacceptable to eat a human body, even if they are dead and consent is given. Also there’s a lot to do with blood and stuff, it was messy.” He said as if talking about sports, or a movie. Very nonchalant. “I see.” The girl who was no longer a girl, but a withered old lady of girl height, her dulling eyes revealing the knowledge of many millennia. “So what happens now?” She asked dejectedly, turning to Aezo, but he was already gone. Leaving an empty sadness in the space he once inhabited.

“Tonight will be our last sunset. You will never see me again.”

The words were barely a whisper, yet I hear them echo through my mind like a shout of warning.

I will never see him again, I repeat in my head.

My eyes drift shut, the scenery in front of me fading to black. I can still imagine the ghost of his being standing by my side where he said those words.

“That is, of course, if everything goes according to plan,” I remember responding. Tears were threatening to fall, stinging my eyes as they do now.

A lifetime of training taught me to shield my emotions just as much as teach me to shoot a gun. But as of that moment, it was as if I never experienced such a thing.

I turned to look at Ryder but it seemed his training was better than mine. He showed no sign of fear or loss or even any acknowledgment of the situation at all. I could almost pretend we were just two teenagers watching the sunset. Almost.

He simply nods his head once in response to my statement.

“Ryder?” I whispered it as if his name was a secret.

“Yes, Evanna?” unlike me, he maintained his composure.

I forget what I planned to say while I studied his face. His brown eyes — normally so dark they were almost black — were like pools of honey due to the sunlight reflecting off of them. His blonde hair shone almost white. He had a slight crease between his brows as though he was deep in thought.

“What are you thinking?” I ask him.

His shoulders reluctantly relaxed and the crease between his brows disappeared.

“Nothing of importance,” he sighed with his eyes studying the dirt beneath his shoes.

“I doubt you could be thinking nothing in a situation such as this,” I say, slightly stunned. “Ryder, you are giving up everything. Our plan may lead to peace or it may lead to war. Are you sure you are willing to take this risk?You’re leaving everyone on a maybe,”

You’re leaving me on a maybe, is what I wanted to say.

Ryder had run a hand through his hair in what seemed like frustration, temporarily losing his calm tone. “What do you want me to say?”

Say you’ll stay, I plead in my head, Say you won’t leave me behind.

But those words were left unspoken by the both of us. Now I stand alone on the same cliff overlooking a new sunset. Five years after.

I wish I could say Ryder was wrong. I wish I could say we had a thousand more sunsets together. I wish I could say I saw him again. I wish I could say that I told him I loved him before he vanished.

Unfortunately, Ryder was right. It was our last sunset together. And I never did see him again.

“I love you,” I whisper to no one as the sun finally disappears beneath the horizon, “and one day I will see you again. I will see you and wrap my arms around your neck and tell you that I love you. I refuse to let those words remain unspoken.”