To My Past Self,

May this find you happy and full of life. Never question who you are Or what your purpose is.

May you forgive yourself for your shortcomings, Knowing they were often born of good intentions. May you understand that the actions of others Are not a reflection of who you are.

May you always remember your worth- Even when others try to diminish it. May you grow stronger from the lessons learned, From those who wronged you.

Never hold anger toward those who hurt you, Even when the pain cuts deep. Understand that life unfolds in many ways, if the journey takes longer- It simply means there is more to learn.

Be mindful of those closest to you, As they hold the most power to harm your spirit. People reveal who they are— Believe them the first time, Without permitting excuses for their actions.

Some may abuse, lie, or use you, that is their burden, not yours. One day you will have the unconditional love you seek.

So, my dear past self, Hold your head high through every storm, you are stronger than you know. Every trial, every tear,will shape the person you are destined to become.

Embrace the beauty of your journey,it is yours and yours alone- Know that your future self carries pride in the strength you’ve shown.

With love, Your future self

To my past self

His words rang true For far too long You held it inside Said, “Nothing’s wrong”

Your smile dimmed Your opinions quieted The girl who loved all Then, internally rioted

As time goes on People will poke and prod They will see the girl Whose words felt flawed

They will want to hear What you have to say You’re smart, not dumb Girl, your words have sway

Of course, it’s true Healing doesn’t happen overnight You will start speaking up But end in “sorry” without a fight

Those who love you Will see your surrender Call it out and encourage you And all your splendor

They will tell you To speak your mind Do it with soul The part that makes you kind

Years will pass And you’ll slowly see The girl who loved all Is finally free

Marx,

Hey. Everything is going to be okay. I know. I know you’re trying. Some people need a little more time. There’s nothing wrong with you.

I’m sorry for how poorly I treated you. You didn’t deserve to be put through that. You persevered.

Now Marx. Listen to me. Something is going to happen that will change your mind for years to come. Kids make mistakes. Yeah, you definitely knew better. It happens, that’s that. You learn. Everything is okay.

I love you and I’m so sorry I tortured you with the mistakes you make. Someone had to hold you accountable. I did what had to be done. You’re safe now. You’ll make many many more mistakes, but now you know, you can survive.

If you saw me right now, would you be disappointed or proud?

If you knew what made me who I am, would you avoid the future?

Would you claw your way out of your skin, or would you make the same mistakes I did?

I'm sorry for what we are.

I'm sorry for what we've done.

We're deteriorating, and I ask just that you forgive me.

Forgive me for growing these horns.

Forgive me for the way my skin turns to scales.

Forgive the way the mirror shatters to avoid showing my reflection.

Forgive me for the monster we have become.

You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. It’s not your fault what happened, don’t blame yourself.

You are beautiful, don’t let anyone tell you differently.

Dear little me, I’m finding it harder and harder to see if there’s light at the end of the tunnel or if there’s somebody waiting for me

Dear little me, I’m finding it harder and harder to breathe School keeps getting harder but at the top is where they expect me to be

Dear little me, I’m finding it harder and harder to seem as though I’m happy and healthy and fine when all I want to do is leave

Dear little me, I’m finding it harder and harder to think when I’m unstable in my mind and lately I’m back to cutting

Dear little me, Can we go back to the way it was? Before the pain, before the first cut?

Dear little me, Why can’t I be you again? Why must I grow up? I don’t want to be like Mum, always stressed beyond reason

Dear little me, Growing up isn’t all its hyped up to be I haven’t slept well in weeks And I’m never truly happy

Dear little me, Please don’t grow up, I don’t want you to be me, I don’t want you to do this, I don’t want you to wake up everyday for the rest of your life feeling useless.

I want to be you but I can never be you again, never in a million years.

I think this is my twelfth reason why.

Dear past me, Guess what? I finally feel free. Yes, my friends aren’t the best, But I can tell who to trust and who I left.

Dearest past me, Yes we still yearn for life in stories, And it this reality is still boring. But when you see where we are now, Everything had fallen and we can take a bow.

Dear Past Me,

I love me. Finally.

You’ve got this.

it does get better.