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I saw the thought coming

I knew it was bad

Seen it’s destruction

I’ve been told not to

I know why as well

So why didn’t I listen

Why’d I do it still

Scissors to skin

Trying to draw blood

Not a clue why

Thinking it’s fine

Normal and ok for me

Knowing I’d worry

If someone followed suit

Even a bully

Why can’t I cry

I feel like I have to

But instead I smile and laugh

Like everything’...

These cold highways stretch like tired arms

Lifting from the concrete sides of that giant

That groans from the pain of life

Trickling cars and people

Igniting themselves for another day

To make their appointments

Made in haste....

Staying up, I say,

Staying up late, letting it all come out.

Staying up late, writing everything out.

Staying up to my own time of choice,

Staying up, letting my mind make noise.

Staying up until it interferes,

Staying up until the pain appears.

Four AM—writing these out.

Four AM—letting it pour out.

Four AM is when it all creeps in.

The dark feels heavier,

The past feels too close.

The silence ...

Now you are just memories

A remedy sung in bittersweet melody

An elegey on tip of tounge

A muttered cough instead of love

A hung coat on finished laundry

An important significance

A somber sundry

Miscallenous patterned puzzles

Smiles in muzzled, desperate sprained muscle

Do you remember me?

That is the greatest pain

That every moment I think of better

You think things should s...

I am like the beauties of nature

I am loud like waterfalls

I am crazy like rabid raccoons

I am loving like mama bears

Yet, when the rain comes

I am annoying like slippery rocks

I am frustrating like mud

I am too much like overfilled lakes

Sometimes I wonder how people see me

Do they see a serene landscape

With lush trees and bright colors

Or do they see a boring patch of trees?

Personally, I...

I want to hate you

But I don’t

I want to love you

But I can’t

I want to be mad at you

But my heart won’t let me

I am mad.

Mad that I can’t hate you

Mad that I can’t love you,

And mad that you don’t love me

Angry at myself because

I’m so empathetic,

I can’t even punch my pillow

With my burning anger.

Why don’t you love me?

Why don’t I love you?...

From shadows deep, where once I dwelled,

I found your heart, where light is held.

You've seen me through the darkest night,

With gentle words, you brought the light.

No judgment cast, no harsh critique,

In you, I found the peace I seek.

You know my past, its heavy toll,

But you kiss my scars, and heal my soul.

A mirror of acceptance, kind and true,

Reflecting love, in every hue.

We've built a w...

And if you feel like I do,

then there's an

emptiness inside you.

You can't cure it,

or erase it,

and god knows

you can't replace it.

As it rips your heart

to shreds every night.

You pray to sleep forever

and hope to end the fight...

I once prayed to Jesus,

but he turned tail and left me.

Now the devil is pissed,

and has taken his place,

deep down inside of me.

Where animosity

grow...

what’s next? tell me where to go. for i don’t know what i want. or what makes me happy. tell me to be who you want me to be. and what to do with this life. what to eat. where to live. what to wear. who to like. i’m indecisive. clueless. and you know everything. just tell me what to do....

i cant stop scratching,

and there are bloody dots all over my arm,

and i can’t stop scratching.

and oh how it burns,

but in a pleasant way?

almost like taking a shot of gin.

not that i’ve ever tasted gin,

i don’t even drink.

regardless,

i hope it scars.

no i don’t.

well,

maybe.

that’s my life.

maybe.

and it burns when i bend my arm,

when the skin has to move,

because that how life is,

no?

...